Dear Parents of Teenaged Boys:
How did you live through the learning-to-drive phase?
Dominic now has his learner’s permit.
This was not an easy process, but I bet it pales in comparison to actually teaching him to drive.
He was supposed to go get his learner’s permit weeks ago. We made an appointment. He filled out the application. We got the appropriate letter from his school. I sent him the link to the manual and the sample tests.
We got in the car to go to the DMV.
Him (looking at his phone): What is this sign? (Shows me the following image on his phone)
Me: It’s a warning sign. Why?
Him (still looking at his phone): The line down the middle of the road is black, red, yellow or white?
Me: Look, you have to answer these questions yourself. First, I’m driving right now. Second, you should have studied the manual!
Him: Where did you say that manual was?
Me (head exploding): You are kidding, right?
Him: I didn’t think it would be hard.
Me: It’s going to be hard if you didn’t look at the manual.
Him: I think we are going to have to cancel the appointment.
Me (steam escaping my ears): Yeah, I guess so.
So we made a new appointment. He promised to study the manual this time.
On the way to the new appointment, we had the following conversation.
Him: I’ve been doing well on the practice tests. This guy said he failed the test 17 times. He finally passed after taking the test three times in one day. His advice is to read the manual.
Me: Well, duh.
Him: (Silence)
Me: You did read the manual, right?
Him: I’m reading it now.
Me: (Nearly crashes the car from shock and blind rage)
Y’all, I’ll be honest: I did not have high hopes for a successful outcome.
We got there, showed proof that he filled out the application and got our temperatures taken.
After loads of paperwork, he was off to take the test.
While I was waiting, I realized my license expires at the end of this year. So I renewed it while I was there. Bonus!
As I was doing that, Dominic ambled over.
Him: I passed!
Me: Really?! That’s GREAT!
Him: It was really easy. In fact, some of the stuff I studied in the car was on the test.
Me (rolling my eyes): You got so lucky.
On the way home, he called his father to tell him the news. No answer. He called his brother.
Him: I passed
Gideon: You passed?
Him: I passed my learner’s permit test.
Gideon: Oh. Nice.
They hang up.
Me: He was so … what’s the word I’m looking for?
Him: Unenthusiastic.
Me: Yes.
We had a good laugh.
I pulled over when I was nearly home and let him drive the rest of the way. He did a good job. He even praised me for my patience (!).
Today, we had to pick up his yearbook from the high school. I let him drive. On Peachtree. Anyone who knows Atlanta knows that’s like letting him drive on a NASCAR track. (Not as bad as I-285, but bad.)
I’ll be drinking loads tonight. And I’ll be thankful to be alive.
I swear he took a turn on two wheels.
He didn’t change lanes quickly and drove in the middle of the road for a bit.
He couldn’t figure out how to work the turn signal. (I mean, he’s not alone. Veteran drivers can’t seem to figure that one out.)
So how did you do it?
Any tricks or tips you want to share?
I’m all ears. (And white knuckles.)
Thanks,
Beth
*Thanks, John, Paul, George and Ringo. This tune is now stuck in my head.
First of all, after working for you for three years, I’m still laughing at that first conversation. A child who has known you for fifteen years actually thought he could cheat off you to practice for his test?!
Secondly, when I was learning to drive, I took a turn in my parents’ SUV at 35 mph and almost jumped a median. It happens. There’s hope for him yet!
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I KNOW! Can you believe it? This kid.
It’s good to know it happens, and you got through it. Thank you!
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Um, if I tell you what happened with one of younger humans two months ago, you won’t sleep at night. It involved a leaking soda cup, a totaled car, a lawyer, and criminal charges. We have three, THREE, teenagers studying for their permits right now. I haven’t slept in months. I will just start praying for you now!!
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Oh NO! I’ll send my thoughts and prayers to you instead.
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Thanks, we survived the ordeal. Learned a lot. Best wishes to you as well!
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My mom refused to drive with me EVER with the exception of two situations. 1) 12 inches of snow, Christmas Day and my VW could manage it. I was 27. 2) California freeways when she came to visit. I was in my late 30s. That was the time she said she was proud of me. I think you’re heroic.
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Oh WOW! Those are occasions where I would NOT want to ride with Dominic. Or anyone, really. And thank you.
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Those situation terrified my mom more than riding with me. 😀
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