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Posts Tagged ‘Obsessions’

Escape from … all this #SundayStories

Posted in Home Sweet Home, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 16, 2026| Leave a Comment »

Hey y’all. It’s been a while, I know.

I’m not dead. Clearly.

I’m just … gobsmacked at what is happening here (i.e., this freakin’ country) on a daily basis. I can’t even believe it, and I don’t want to write about it. It’s like writing about it makes it more real.

So I’ll write about reality TV instead, my escapism go-to (as you know).

My favorite genre is what one might loosely term “love.” You know: “Love is Blind,” “Temptation Island,” “Too Hot to Handle,” etc.

Pretty twentysomethings cavorting in bikinis stirring up chaos thanks to hormones and underdeveloped frontal lobes.

It’s drama, but it’s not MY drama. And so I can turn off my own frontal lobe and enjoy the show.

Lately, I’ve been plowing through Season 8 of “Love Island USA.” I somehow managed to miss Seasons 3-7 (whaaaat?) and was very surprised to see this host, Ariana Madix, the Temu Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Who is this person? Where did she come from? Why was she chosen? I need someone with a strong personality like Nikki Glaser to be in charge of this thing. I don’t care that Shein Avril Lavigne is a great clothes hanger.

Am I wrong?

Anyway. This season has all the things I love:

  • A trainwreck (two in fact: Kenzie and Sincere)
  • A bromance (lovebirds Zach and Bryce)
  • Vapid, vain vessels (delulu horndogs Corbin and Parmida, Jen)
  • Deception (Sincere is … not)
  • Unexpected footage (Casa Amor entrances were SPICY — and live-streamed)
  • Hot goss (Bryce may need to work on his kissing style)
  • A true love story (Trinity and Bryce [apparently the above didn’t put her off])

I’m not done with this season yet, but I have enjoyed the heck out of every moment. Kenzie, especially, is good TV. Look at this girl:

Plus, she’s from Kennesaw, Georgia. Of course I’m going to root for her.

I’m having a hard time rooting for Sincere, though, as are the others in the Villa, judging by these reactions to his machinations captured on camera and shared during “movie night.”

Look at that. Priceless.

I’ve got my popcorn. It’s great!

You know whom I’m not thinking about while watching “Love Island?”

One of the best things I’ve noticed since the first two seasons is that the characters have evolved/matured.

  • The women strongly support each other in a healthy way.
  • The men do too, in a way I’ve never seen before. They are willing to hold each other accountable.
  • The men cuddle up with each other in bed to talk just like the women have done in every season.
  • They all apologize to each other regularly.
  • They are all self-reflective, and most of them genuinely seem to be there to find a connection (rather than to parlay their time into some kind of influencer career).
  • Most have “real” jobs: Kenzie just finished nursing school, Caleb fixes elevators, Gal runs a coffee shop. Yes, a couple are models, but they also do other things to pay the bills.

I also love the occasional “Aftersun” episodes with Tefi and Ciara. Those are two fun women who seem like they could be my friends.

Yes, I do watch “real” TV too: I’m watching the weekly episodes of “Silo” plus working through “The Four Seasons” and Season 4 of “The Sinner.” There’s only so much of Bill Pullman looking pinched I can take before I need to see a beautiful half-naked person do a “vibe check” with another.

If you want to pull me for a chat about this show or similar trash, drop a comment.

Until then, I’ll be camped out on the sofa enjoying young adult theater.

Love,
Beth

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Truth is stranger than fiction #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2025| 6 Comments »

Isn’t FOX News basically a scam targeting seniors? I can see why this administration wouldn’t want seniors to recognize a scam — like voting for a con man.

Hey kids!

Auntie Beth has a fun new game for you. It’s called Truth AND Consequences.

We’ll start with a scenario. You decide if it’s real or if Auntie Beth’s fertile imagination made it up Onion-style. Here’s an example:

Trump administration fires more than 300 staffers at the National Nuclear Security Administration. Rehires them the next day when they realize those people oversee America’s nuclear weapons. But wait: They can’t locate their personal contact info and are asking remaining employees for help.

Is this real or fake news?

If you answered real, you are RIGHT!

Are you ready? Here we go!

USDA accidentally fired officials working on bird flu and is now trying to rehire them.

REAL!

A reality TV star in charge of transportation weighed in on autism research promoted by an anti-vax former (?) heroin addict in charge of health.

REAL!

Trump just delegitimized a vaccine he was proud of getting to the public quickly.

REAL!

A non-elected, non-government person with no oversight has been given broad access to internal, confidential U.S. government databases and is making sweeping decisions on funding programs based on whether he thinks they are valuable or not. Oh, and he makes $7 million per day from the very same government.

FAKE NEWS! Elon Musk makes $8 million per day from all his federal contracts.

VP Vance refused to meet with the Chancellor of Germany, but did meet with the leader of the far-right German party who calls Holocaust remembrance a “guilt cult.”

REAL!

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson and Senate Majority Leader John Thune said that Trump cannot continue to govern through Executive Orders — that they are done being “his bitches,” and he must work with Congress.

Please. Are you kidding? That’s as FAKE as RFK Jr.’s tan. Those two couldn’t find a spine if they were locked overnight in the Brooklyn Bone Museum.

The man above was busted for:

A. Serving minors in his bar.
B. Drinking on the job.
C. Cheating on his taxes.
D. Causing an international PR crisis.

This is a toughie. It’s D for sure, but also likely C and B (though it LOOKS like A if you happen to just glance at the TV*).

Old man who has been accusing everyone of spending too much money spends $5 million for a joyride around a racetrack.

REAL!

Two Republican reps have introduced legislation to increase your bank fees.

REAL!

And one wants to rename Greenland to “Red, White, and Blueland.”

REAL!

A woman reported to be a Chinese spy has been chosen to head national intelligence for America.

FAKE NEWS! Tulsi Gabbard allegedly works for Russia.

The President of the United States of America declared himself king.

REAL!

The Internal Revenue Service is about to lay off 6,000 employees in the middle of tax season.

FAKE NEWS! It’s closer to 6,700.

The image above is of:

A. Mr. Potato Head in human form.
B. A man who claimed that advising people of their rights is a crime.
C. A contributor to Project 2025.

The answer is both B and C, but A also appears to be true.

The wheelchair-bound governor of Texas signed a bill overturning the very policies that are supposed to help disabled people get a fair shake.

REAL!

How many out of the 15 did you get right? (Were you even able to add up your score through your tears and/or blinding rage?)

This is America, y’all. Schoolhouse Rock didn’t prepare us for this bullshit.

The United States has three branches of government. At the moment, only the executive branch and judicial branch seem to be active. The Republicans in Congress seem to be OK with Trump governing via Executive Order.

Auntie Beth says if you don’t like it, call your Senators and Representatives. Auntie Beth knows that a woman’s place is in the resistance.

*According to my friend John.

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Songs, suplexes and a savior on the sea #SundayStories

Posted in Music, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2025| 2 Comments »

Dear Friends and Family,

This time last week, I was on a cruise. I didn’t pay the exorbitant fee for ship WiFi, and I was thus blissfully unaware of Leon and his band of Hitler youth interns hijacking the Treasury. Among other things. 🙄

Oh those halcyon days!

Anyway.

What kind of cruise?

Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Rager at Sea.

Listen: I grew up in Georgia. Y’all know I’m a redneck.

Wrestling was a part of my childhood. Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream, was like kin. One of my first crushes was Robert Fuller, whose tag-team partner was Ted DiBiase, the Million Dollar Man.

All Elite Wrestling is the best. It’s far superior in storylines to World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s like a soap opera featuring sweaty men. And one of the best characters is Chris Jericho. He understands the assignment.

Jericho is on the right wearing a onesie featuring cats and tacos.

Jericho also fronts one of my favorite bands: Fozzy. Fozzy performed on the cruise, along with a bunch of other bands.

Wrestling AND rock music? It’s the perfect combo for me. I’ve been wanting to go on this cruise for years.

Pre-trip, people would ask where the ship was going. I answered, “I don’t know. I don’t care.” Turns out: Puerto Plata, DR. Fine. I was there for what was happening on the Norwegian Gem.

In addition to Fozzy, the lineup featured the return of Great White. Yes, THAT Great White. They have a new singer. He’s very talented and VERY young. Was DEF not alive during the band’s first go ‘round.

The singer bears a striking resemblance to 20-hour Tina’s daughter Elsa.

Others: Kuarantine (another Jericho-fronted band, this one focused on KISS covers of the no-makeup years), Guardians of the Jukebox (all covers), Excitable (a Def Leppard tribute band), Nocturnal Affair (a screamy metal band), and — another favorite of mine — The Hot Damn!

Love them. Listen to “I Didn’t Like You Anyway” or “Automatic.”

And then there was the wrestling.

Ricochet and Komander put on an acrobatic show. This isn’t your dad’s wrestling extravaganza.

There was at least one show per day along with photo opps, autograph sessions, podcasts and random other events — events like a belly-flop contest.

Here’s Will Ospreay with his stellar attempt.

As you are all on a boat together, you could find yourself riding the elevator with Toni Storm.

Or passing Turbo Floyd of the Outrunners in a hallway.

He’s right out of the ‘80s all the time!

Or standing in line at the bar with Jesus.

What was hilarious later is that Fozzy has a song called, “Drinking with Jesus.” The crowd was SO EXCITED and lifted this man up to the front. Sadly, Jericho didn’t even notice. Missed opportunity, I say.

As for drinking, I started the cruise still doing Dry January. Friends, that is a rough choice. ROUGH. Especially when I hear fellow passengers say things like this about their own drinks:

“I’m drunk, and I can tell that’s strong. Got DAMN, that’s strong!”*

But I made it.

And I didn’t get crazy on the trip, either. Unlike others. Look at Will Ospreay’s face after a night of drunken karaoke:

Let me tell you: Cruises are GREAT for people watching.

On the last day at sea, my traveling friend and I sat and watched people for hours. I asked him if he was going to get a chair massage like the dude next to us.

He said, “Absolutely not.”

I said, “Why not? You liked the last massage you got.”

He said, “That was in a nice relaxing cave. This is on a ship surrounded by weird people with Great White doing a sound check in the background.”

Fair enough.

Five days, four nights of events tailored to my interests? Yes, please.

I mean, JUST LOOK!

I’ll tell you this: It was the first time on this cruise, but it won’t be the last.

Who is coming with me next time?

Let’s go!
Beth

*Yes, “got damn” with a “t.”

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George Soros paid me to write this* #SundayStories

Posted in Education, Friends, Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2024| 9 Comments »

Dear Certain Facebook Friend,

I really think you need a hobby that does not involve using an “independent browser.” You’ve gone way down the conspiracy-theory rabbit hole.

In addition to hopping on board the HAARP bandwagon, you are, naturally, an antivaxxer.

You posted this recently. Are you really wanting to go back to 1890s knowledge? They were still using cocaine as an all-purpose pain reliever, for crying out loud!

There doesn’t seem to be a conspiracy theory you don’t embrace.

Sigh. Where to begin with this?

Oh. My.

Here are SO MANY tinfoil-hat buzzwords:

Later in the post, you mention the Deep State (of course).

AND, the grandpappy of them all, GEORGE SOROS.

Lord have mercy.

Let me get this straight:

COVID was a well-planned global conspiracy coordinated via the corrupt George Soros-owned media and search engines. The mRNA-DNA altering injections (i.e., vaccines) were sold for massive profits — killing people with the “Pfizer clot shot” while the unvaxxed were hunted.

This is what you said.

OK.

So.

Let’s put aside simple facts such as mRNA doesn’t alter DNA, the vaccines were/are free, and no one hunted unvaxxed folks. There are a couple of other issues:

All the countries of the world agreed to do this: Russia, Ukraine, North Korea, U.S., China, etc.? And they all worked together well and kept it a secret? Like I told you, I can’t even get three people to keep a secret about a Christmas present.

Who exactly benefited from this plot? COVID crashed economies. What’s the point of killing so many people with COVID or with the vaccine? Were they enemies of the DEEP STATE? Did they KNOW TOO MUCH? Somehow I doubt it.

Why is anyone hunting unvaxxed people? There’s no need. I mean, I believe in survival of the fittest. You don’t want to get vaccinated? OK. Polio, measles, cholera, etc. will take you out soon enough.

I’m surprised you didn’t mention THE LIBERAL ELITES.

Side note: All “experts” are not in academia. Look at all the scientists, economists, etc., all over the world.

You know, I have a good position at a university. Shouldn’t I be part of this club? I’ve been working in higher education for nearly 30 years. Shouldn’t I have gotten an invitation by now? I’m a little put out. How am I supposed to know how to indoctrinate students without the official guidelines?

Um … didn’t this dude go to Yale?

I’m also surprised you didn’t warn me off my Alexa. You’d be right about surveillance, though: I’m sure that old ‘ho IS listening all the time and making notes.

Fine. I don’t care. What’s she tracking? When I need cat food? Good.

If Bill Gates wants to implant a chip in me and track my movements, he can go right ahead.

It’s not like I’m plotting a global conspiracy.

Back to that.

Let’s say, just for kicks, that you are right — that you and the rest of the 5G nutters have stumbled onto the truth of a cabal and exposed their machinations. (You haven’t, but let’s pretend.)

So what?

What are you going to do about it?

What if the earth IS flat? (It’s not.)

So what?

How does it affect you?

What if the moon landing WAS fake? (It wasn’t.)

So what?

How will your life change?

It won’t.

It genuinely does not make a difference to you or to me or to anyone in our daily lives. We are still going to go to work, hang out with friends, take care of our families, clean our houses, plan vacations, pay bills, go to dinner, etc., every day whether George Soros buys another TV station or not.

So my recommendation is to get off the Internet (dark web, light web, private browser, whatever) and go get some fresh air. Have a few analog days. Or weeks. Or maybe even months.

When you come back, take a page out of Finland’s playbook for its schoolchildren and practice critical-thinking skills.

With genuine concern for your health,
Beth

*He didn’t. Obviously.

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Everyday I write the book* #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , on October 10, 2024| 5 Comments »

Dear Blog,

I’m so glad I have you. I know I ignore you sometimes. But Stella always gets her groove back.

I get sand in my shell, and my posts become my pearl. Well, they are pearls to me.

“Any writer worth his salt writes to please himself … It’s a self-exploratory operation that is endless. An exorcism of not necessarily his demon, but of his divine discontent.”
–Harper Lee

What’s interesting to me is that what some readers find pearls are the exact posts that others find to be sand still.

For example, in election years, my posts seesaw between some kind of topical outrage and mundane daily life. Those who love the former also seem to like the latter.

But not all who like the latter also like the former.

I’m sure it depends on whether the person agrees with me or not.

However, if I don’t write, I might die.

 “Words are a lens to focus one’s mind.”
–Ayn Rand

It’s my chief creative outlet. It gives me a reason to get out of the house. (Sometimes it is the only reason.)

And through the magic of technology, I can schedule posts — a fact a former coworker (aka Mean Girl) didn’t understand. I’m convinced she friended me on Facebook just to spy on me. She complained about me to my boss, saying I was using work time to write. My boss told me. I was incredulous.

“Does she not understand how this works?” I asked him. He shrugged.

“A word after a word after a word is power.”
–Margaret Atwood

Here I get to vent my spleen about her and others.

“I write to discover what I know.”
–Flannery O’Connor

I also get an excuse to do research like I did when I was a full-time journalist.

“When you make music or write or create, it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.”
–Lady Gaga

Ultimately, this blog is for me. Maybe it’s for others too. It’s not for everyone. I’m OK with that.

Love,
Beth

*The other Elvis

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Fact check 2.0 #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 29, 2024| 3 Comments »

Dear Timothy,

I wish you weren’t the kind of person who would post things like this:

But sadly, you are.

You also posted this:

You dared me to fact check it.

Challenge accepted.

The claim: “Allowed 15m unvetted illegals into the country.” The truth: “Allowed” is the wrong word. (How can you “allow” if they aren’t vetted?) Regardless, the number of unauthorized immigrants in the United States is estimated at 11 million — about the same number it was in 2015. The number reached peak in 2007. You know who was president then? George W. Bush. A Republican. (Not sure if you hate Democrats or Biden or both, but I’ll reference presidents AND parties in this exercise.)

Side note: Are “illegals” taking jobs or are they lazy/living off services and/or drug dealers/rapists? Are they taking the drug-dealing jobs? I just want to be clear. Also, someone you love very much is a rapist and took a qualified-person’s job, so …

The claim: “Historic inflation crisis.” The truth: In Biden’s first year in office, the inflation rate hit 7 percent in 2021, which was a 40-year high, thanks to the pandemic, supply chain issues, the war in Ukraine, etc. The all-time high was 29.78% in 1778. Also corporations like Kroger behaved badly.

The claim: “Record high gas prices in all 50 states.” The truth: Hard to say if it was the case in all 50 states, but gas in general hit a record-high price in March 2022 — once again, thanks to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. It beat a record set in July 2008. Who was president? Our buddy Dubya.

The claim: “Record high consumer debt.” The truth: This is accurate. It goes up every year, and could be a complaint about every single administration. No doubt it will go up no matter who is president.

The claim: “Released terrorists into the country.” The truth: Hard to research/know about this one. Who are these terrorists? Maybe it comes from this Jim Jordan report saying 100 people on the terrorist watch list were let into the country in 2022. The Biden Administration closed a loophole leading to this. There’s a conflicting report saying 100 were STOPPED from entering in 2022 with 160 stopped in 2023. Here’s some general fact checking about immigration.

The claim: “Ukraine-Russia War.” The truth: Is the claim that the Biden Administration started it? That’s insane considering the conflict started back in 2014 with the annexation of Crimea. And it’s, you know, TWO OTHER COUNTRIES.

The claim: “Israel-Hamas War.” The truth: Same response as above in that Biden in no way started this war. The Gaza-Israel conflict essentially has been going on since 1967.

The claim: “Disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan.” The truth: HOO BOY. Both the Trump and Biden Administrations made big mistakes. Arguably one of the biggest was Trump releasing 5,000 Taliban from prison. One of those is Abdul Ghani Baradar, who is acting first deputy prime minister of Afghanistan today. Kind of a big deal.

The claim: “Violent crime skyrocketing.” The truth: False. A Pew Research Center report noted, “Both the FBI and BJS [Bureau of Justice Statistics] data show dramatic declines in U.S. violent and property crime rates since the early 1990s, when crime spiked across much of the nation.” Fun fact: The murder rate rose 30 percent between 2019 and 2020 — the largest single-year increase in more than a century. Who was president then? Oh right. Trump.

The claim: “Tried to jail political rival in name of democracy.” The truth: Is this a reference to Trump’s convictions? HAHAHAHAHA! GTFO. Trump, a rapist, broke the law many, many times. He should be held accountable like anyone else. This isn’t Biden’s doing. Trump did this himself.

The claim: “Lied to the American public about Joe’s decline.” The truth: I don’t even know where to start with this. Everyone gets older (“declines,” I guess). No need to lie about anything. It’s not like they hid his age. I love all the armchair physicians. Here’s what I do know: Running the country takes an administration (Executive branch) plus Congress (Legislative branch) with laws upheld by the Judicial branch. Biden’s cabinet supported him. Fun fact: Trump’s cabinet did not (and do not).

The claim: “Declared war on American energy.” The truth: How do you declare war on a quantitative property? Is the claim that the Biden Administration is trying to shut down or constrain energy companies? In fact, it is just the opposite: The United States is producing record amounts of oil, natural gas and renewable power.

The claim: “Record low test scores for K-12 students.” The truth: Which K-12 students? All of them? That’s impossible to know. Average test scores for reading and math for 13 year olds dropped since 2020 (um … pandemic, hello!). However, the science scores among 15 year olds is unchanged since 2018. Test scores in Oregon among children in grades 3-8 and 11 for English and math and grades 5, 8 and 11 for science show progress. So this claim needs to define terms/ages/states, etc., in order to compare apples to apples year over year.

The claim: “Most unpopular president and VP in history.” The truth: Among Republicans, maybe. Just kidding. This is completely false. You know who had the lowest “high” on the all-time approval rankings? Trump with just 49 percent. The president who had the highest high (92 percent) and the lowest low (19 percent)? Dubya, once again. Here’s a fun Gallup chart for all you visual learners:

Clearly, I missed my calling as a fact checker and researcher. (I wonder if Snopes is hiring.)

Here’s a list of just some of the things Biden and his administration actually did. You may not agree with or want all the things on this list, but these are the facts. No need to make up anything.

Also, jobs.

Anyway, Timothy, I know my work won’t change your mind. Maybe it will change someone else’s.

Your “friend,”
Beth

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I diD mY oWn rEseArcH! #TuesdayTip

Posted in Advice, Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2024| 4 Comments »

Dear People Who Like to Share Wrong Information:

In the age of social media, I know it is hard not to share a chart or a meme that fits in with your world view/personal bias. I know it seems great in the moment, but I really encourage you to check your facts.

As we are in an election year, and people are foaming at the mouth, sharing misinformation is a real problem.

A couple of far-right friends shared a chart I found interesting:

It’s interesting to me because it looks great for your cause if you are a Trump supporter.

(Quick personal bias check: I am a Never Trumper. I’m sure most of y’all know that.)

BUT THIS CHART IS WRONG. I know it is wrong because I had recently done some research on gas prices.

(That people think the President of the United States controls the price of gas is insane to me.)

Anyway, I was motivated to get the real numbers, and I had some spare time.

I put together a spreadsheet. I hate Excel, so I need everyone to understand that this is a big deal.

In addition to providing the real data for the categories in the chart above, I added some other key info such as the global inflation rate, deficit and GDP. I also added the numbers for the last four years Obama was in office to give context.

I’m presenting it here without comment. These are real numbers, and I can provide sources for this data (non-media sources). Let me know if you want me to send you the spreadsheet with source links.

The bottom line: Educate yourself. Decide what is important to you. Vote accordingly.

Also, don’t share stupid inflammatory shit that is wrong. There is enough misinformation in the world without you adding to it.

Kthxbyeeee,
Beth

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Becoming an educated wino #SundayStories

Posted in Education, tagged , , , , , on August 18, 2024| 2 Comments »

Hi y’all!

I’m back on my bullshit. And by that, I mean taking classes in some esoteric subject just for kicks.

This time, it’s wine. I completed the Wine and Spirit Education Trust Level 1 Award in Wines in May.

Now I’m on Level 2. This means I am learning about and sampling wine for three hours every Monday night for six weeks.

Sounds terrible, right?

Why am I doing this? Well, WHY NOT?!

I would not say I have a sophisticated palate when it comes to wine. I will say that it has expanded and developed over the years.

I used to limit myself to sweet wine (perhaps shaped by consumption of Boone’s Farm back in the day).

Then I spent a few months in the South of France. My arrival coincided with harvest season. I discovered Châteauneuf-du-Pape. Mmmm.

This week, we covered Riesling, Chardonnay and Sauvignon Blanc.

Chardonnay and I have not been friends. I have a theory that people who dislike Chardonnay also dislike IPAs.

(IPAs. Gross.)

What I have learned in this class, though, is that I don’t like Chardonnays fermented in oak. Give me stainless steel, please.

See? I’m learning.

I’ve also learned that my palate may be more discerning than I thought.

We tasted a zinfandel last week. We were supposed to taste notes of red fruits and black fruits.

OK, check.

Another student in the class said she tasted meat.

Alright, Jill. Calm down.

But maybe I’m the weird one. After all, one wine did taste like chicken bouillon to me.

I’ll know more in a few weeks. Yet, I’ll never know as much as folks in the “Somm” documentary.

I was planning on just being happy to pass the eventual test. But I’ve learned that it’s possible to pass with merit (75+) or distinction (85+). Great. Now I have to study.

Wish me well!
Beth

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Not my first rodeo #SundayStories

Posted in Cultural differences, Random, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2024| 3 Comments »

Dear Yamhill County Fair,

You have everything I would expect in a county fair:

Rides assembled and operated by ex convicts
Parking in a field
Odd signs (“shave ice”)
“Food” in the form of corn dogs and funnel cakes
White people in overalls

You also have some things I didn’t expect:

Hats with fake Trump hair
Goats with unusual pelts
The biggest trough of curly fries I’ve ever seen
A rodeo (photo by Amy)
Me as a chicken (photo by Amy)
Inflatable cattle
Sleepy pigs

And Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Thanks for an interesting time!
Beth

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Intergalactic, planetary* #SpacePlace #SundayStories

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , on May 18, 2024| 3 Comments »

Dear Alien Life Forms:

Apparently, you like the scenery of the Pacific Northwest as much as residents and tourists do.

In fact, there’s a whole festival celebrating a famous visit you made in 1950.

Postcard from the trip

I took my human form up to town to investigate.

Because of course I did.

You may not know this, but weird festivals are kind of my jam.

Anyway, I saw plenty while waiting for the parade to start.

People wearing protection
A reference for people of a certain age
One of you ready to receive visitors
Another reference for people of a certain age (POACA)
Is it art BY you or ABOUT you?
Prepared for the costume contest
They look fun!
Photos with a Sleestak. Of course. For POACA. Happily, this child does not look as traumatized as she would have if she had seen the source material.
I want to believe.

Things I never thought I’d hear:

“Watch out! Don’t hit people with your alien!” — a mom to her kid waving around an inflatable creature

“I don’t like aliens. They’re scary.” — an inflatable-free kid

Then it was time for the parade. I will tell you that I don’t much like parades. I was scarred for life by the boring St. Patrick’s Day parade in Savannah, which consists of politicians riding in convertibles and Irish families walking in a pack waving flags.

No thank you.

The last time I was at a parade, I came home with COVID.

But this was my first year at your celebration, so I gave it a go.

Here are the highlights:

I love a band.
I swear I thought she had a ball sack on her back. But it was just a flaccid alien replica.
You aliens come in all shapes and sizes.
And filled with life or … not.
There were bad guys …
… and good ones. That’s my friend Sarah!
Van HALIEN, y’all!

Afterward, it was time for lunch.

Sitting around like it’s just a regular day.
I had a crepe that was out of this world.

Then I went home to hang out with my own personal alien.

I have no idea what you real extraterrestrial beings think about all this. We must seem very primitive. There’s plenty of evidence for that.

I hope you are amused.

Now could you give me my condo keys back?

Thanks and Nanu Nanu,
Beth

*Yeah, those guys.

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