Dear Organizers of the Georgia State Banana Pudding Festival:
As soon as I found out about this festival and realized it coincided with the day my son Dominic and I planned to drive from Atlanta to Savannah, I knew it was on the agenda.

I’ve been to many festivals and fairs. I have expectations. I can manage those expectations depending on the scope of the venture. Claxton Rattlesnake Roundup? It’s an annual, small-town, lookie-loo event. No expectations. McMinnville UFO Festival? Bigger event with a parade and a weekend of planned speakers. Higher expectations.
The banana pudding festival appears to be an annual state event with enough social media presence to get on the radar of someone in Oregon.
I had expectations.
I did not expect to wait 20 minutes on a two-lane road to be directed into a field to park — one of three, all off this same two-lane road.
I did not expect to wait another 30 minutes in line to pay a $10 entry fee. (Who charges an entry fee at a festival like this?!)
I did not expect to wait another hour in line to pay $10 to sample banana pudding along the “Puddin’ Path.”



What — and I mean this sincerely — the fuck?!
One hour and $10 to sample eight versions of banana pudding, two of which were inedible? [One was “sourdough” (What? No. Stop.), and one was pecan praline (so sweet that I immediately contracted diabetes).]
And that’s it. Those eight samples equaled the only banana pudding available at the Georgia State Banana Pudding Festival.
You are deeply unserious festival planners. Clearly.
So what did our entry fee get us?






Not pictured: the 30-minute line for two porta-potties. Yes: TWO.
Also not pictured: The person running for Secretary of State who talked to us about his immigration stance, assuming we had the same political beliefs. Sir, I’m not your target audience, for a variety of reasons.
You know what WAS worth it: Spending this time with Dominic grousing about how lame your festival was. We are two of a kind and ended up having a great time.
So thanks. I guess.
Beth










































Put the penis away #ThursdayThoughts
Posted in Advice, Uncategorized, tagged Academics, Advice, Attitude, Circles of Hell, Comments, Complaints, Court, Creeps, Disorders, Entitled White Dudes, Family, Fear, Gangs, Gender expectations, Gender roles, Government, Hell, Injuries, Isolation, Kids, Liquor, Marijuana, Media, Mistakes Were Made, News, NSFW, Objectification, Parasites, Parenting, Patriarchy, Peeves, Penises, Politicians, Politics, Rage, Rape culture, Safety, Schitt’s Creek reference, Shocking, Sick, Stereotypes, Students, Stupidity, The Po Po, Trump, Villains, White people, Women, Women's rights on October 1, 2026| 5 Comments »
Hey Girls and Evolved Boys!
Are you trying to wrap your head around the Cornell 7 story? Or even surprised at some of the insane (almost always male) reactions to it? So surprised and disgusted that you can’t even formulate a response?
Auntie Beth is here to help.
What to say to the “not all men” crowd and/or rapist apologists:
Asinine comment
She knew what she was getting into by going to the frat house.
Response (dealer’s choice)
• There were a whole bunch of guys there too. Did they also sign up to be raped?
• Rapes happen in homes, hotels, dressing rooms, even behind dumpsters. Women can’t go anywhere then.
• She went to see a friend. With friends like that, no one needs enemies.
Dipshit remark
Come on. She wanted it.
Response
Do you have a vagina? I do. Let me tell you: No vagina wants seven hours of sex.
Idiot on social media
She told police everything was consensual.
Response
Maybe she did want to do ketamine and have sex with her friend. Maybe she even wanted a threesome. BUT consent stops when consciousness does. She probably was not aware of everything that transpired until she saw the screenshot of the group chat much later. Also, rape is fucking traumatic, you douchebag. Processing it takes time and different forms.
(Frankly, I don’t care if she walked into that house stark naked, high as a kite, and started dancing on a pole. That doesn’t mean she’s suddenly the house fuck toy.)
Buffoon’s statement
It’s two years later. Why didn’t she come forward then? She must be lying.
Response
She fucking did. She went to campus police. (And if you read the statement, it’s clear she doesn’t remember everything that happened. 10 drinks in three hours plus ketamine plus pot will do that.) Cornell conducted a whole Title IX investigation (albeit starting three months after the incident). They found SOMETHING, or Chi Phi would not have been banned from campus. Ithaca police, fools that they are, relied on info from Cornell police, who withheld the group chat information. That’s one of the reasons they are reopening the case.
What an ass says
Calm down. At least the case is being reopened.
Response
Yeah, because of the outrage. It’s the Safety Valve Theory. But then everything will go back to the way it was, is and always will be. (Fuck the Patriarchy!)
What the rape defender says
These young men have a promising future. Their lives shouldn’t be destroyed by this! Innocent until proven guilty.
Response
If they are smart enough to have a promising future, they are smart enough not to jeopardize it by raping someone. And what about her future? Sure, innocent until proven guilty, but let’s not kid ourselves that the guilty are ever truly punished either.
What if we only taught men one thing: Don’t rape.
Then women wouldn’t choose the bear.
And all the evolved men out there, you have a responsibility too. Hold other men accountable. Change the culture. If you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
Don’t be one of the seven.
Don’t be one of the 50.
Don’t even be that one who sent a text LATER.
Be the one who stops it RIGHT THEN.
Better yet: Don’t ever let it start.
You know Auntie Beth talked to her own sons immediately to make sure she had talked to them enough when they were growing up that they would know what to do.
Every woman has been catcalled, groped, harassed, stalked, assaulted, or raped — sometimes all of the above. Ask any woman if you don’t believe Auntie Beth. (Ask Auntie Beth why she knows … )
“Not all men” but always a man. How are we supposed to know which men are safe? Remember: Jane Doe went to the Chi Phi house to see her friend. Who apparently raped her.
Parting thought:
Women’s bodies are their own. Men: You want to get off? Rosy is always free.
Best wishes and warmest regards,
Auntie Beth
Read Full Post »