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Feeling peevish over pudding #SundayStories

March 29, 2026 by Beth

Dear Organizers of the Georgia State Banana Pudding Festival:

As soon as I found out about this festival and realized it coincided with the day my son Dominic and I planned to drive from Atlanta to Savannah, I knew it was on the agenda.

I’ve been to many festivals and fairs. I have expectations. I can manage those expectations depending on the scope of the venture. Claxton Rattlesnake Roundup? It’s an annual, small-town, lookie-loo event. No expectations. McMinnville UFO Festival? Bigger event with a parade and a weekend of planned speakers. Higher expectations.

The banana pudding festival appears to be an annual state event with enough social media presence to get on the radar of someone in Oregon.

I had expectations.

I did not expect to wait 20 minutes on a two-lane road to be directed into a field to park — one of three, all off this same two-lane road.

I did not expect to wait another 30 minutes in line to pay a $10 entry fee. (Who charges an entry fee at a festival like this?!)

I did not expect to wait another hour in line to pay $10 to sample banana pudding along the “Puddin’ Path.”

This is the line for the Puddin’ Path.
Dominic is so happy to finally be able to eat some pudding.

What — and I mean this sincerely — the fuck?!

One hour and $10 to sample eight versions of banana pudding, two of which were inedible? [One was “sourdough” (What? No. Stop.), and one was pecan praline (so sweet that I immediately contracted diabetes).]

And that’s it. Those eight samples equaled the only banana pudding available at the Georgia State Banana Pudding Festival.

You are deeply unserious festival planners. Clearly.

So what did our entry fee get us?

A vendors fair with all manner of offerings, including “sassy sewing.”
A variety of wood creations and whatnot for sale.
A few people with festival spirit.
Hate crimes in merch form.
An obstacle course driven by a blindfolded tractor driver.
The ability to take this photo.

Not pictured: the 30-minute line for two porta-potties. Yes: TWO.

Also not pictured: The person running for Secretary of State who talked to us about his immigration stance, assuming we had the same political beliefs. Sir, I’m not your target audience, for a variety of reasons.

You know what WAS worth it: Spending this time with Dominic grousing about how lame your festival was. We are two of a kind and ended up having a great time.

So thanks. I guess.
Beth

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

You like sarcasm? You’ll love this. #MakeItMakeSenseMonday

January 26, 2026 by Beth

Welcome, everyone, to the award ceremony for the first National Championships for the Mental Gymnastics!

(pause for applause)

The competition is complete, and we have our winners. Here are the following champions:

POMMEL HORSE: All the people killed, beaten, sprayed, pushed, detained, abused, etc., by the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement “officers” who have taken over Minneapolis, Minnesota. ICE has pommeled them repeatedly.* Congrats to these folks, mostly U.S. citizens! (So much winning! Are we great yet?)

STILL RINGS: Texas and Florida (tie). It takes immense strength and control to somehow avoid an ICE invasion when there are nearly 2 million and 1.2 million (respectively) undocumented residents, compared to Minnesota’s 130,000. How did they manage to come out on top? Their coach, Pam Bondi.

VAULT: ICE (and the DHS overlord Kristi Noem). They manage to vault right over the First, Second and Fourth amendments to the U.S. Constitution every day!

PARALLEL BARS: Kamala Harris. In a parallel universe — one without Elon Musk — she won the election and none of this is happening. Fun fact: Before the election, the right, with help from FOX News, said the Democrats would strip away the Second Amendment, jail us for what we say, drag us into more foreign wars, and cover up a sex trafficking ring, among other atrocities. Huh. Lookee here.

HORIZONTAL (HIGH) BAR: Joe Biden. He was crucified and had to drop out of the 2024 presidential race because he had a bad performance at a debate. Meanwhile, Trump sends the following letter to the Norwegian prime minister, and it’s just another Monday. Ho hum. Seems fine. Totally sane.

FLOOR EXERCISES: These were canceled as senators and representatives controlling Congress cannot be bothered to do the jobs outlined in the Constitution.

UNEVEN BARS: MAGA.

(Left) Kyle Rittenhouse meets with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago after acquittal. (Right) Alex Pretti documents ICE activity in Minneapolis Jan. 24 moments before he was killed, with the Trump administration claiming he was brandishing a gun.

BALANCE BEAM: No winners. Only losers. There is no balance, only hyperbole. For example, the rhetoric around immigration that led to the ICE buildup.

JD Vance claims there are 30 million undocumented immigrants in America. The number is closer to half. And they have been painted as rapists and murderers. According to extrapolated numbers out of Texas (the only place that really tracks), the number is 1.9 homicides per 100,000. There are more than 22,000 ICE agents. ICE killed 32 people in 2025. That’s about 1 per 688. I’d rather live next door to an illegal immigrant than an ICE agent.

Here are some facts:

Wake up, everyone! We are at the end of this glorious celebration of the Mental Gymnastics!

We will have a reception eventually in the new “luxurious” $400 million presidential ballroom — which is completely a necessity as we have managed to solve the all the American problems of affordable healthcare and housing, wage stagnation, inflation (2.7 percent), national debt ($38 trillion), national budget deficit ($1.78 trillion), etc.

CONGRATULATIONS!

*Side note: I can’t believe I have to say this but law enforcement officials are not allowed to execute “guilty” people either. We have a whole judicial system to determine guilt and punishment. Good and Pretti should be alive. For those of you saying, “FAFO,” I have a question and a comment. The question: Why are you defending these thugs? (Is it because if you admit they are wrong, you also are wrong for voting for this? Because you knew exactly what was going to happen. Or is it because you too were a high-school bully, and you love the violence?) The comment: Fuck all the way off with your inhumane self.

Posted in Cultural differences, Politics, Religion (or lack thereof) | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

I’d like my taco to go …

June 14, 2025 by Beth

Dear Trump (aka Tacolini):

I was at your birthday “party.” It was an accident, believe me. I booked a flight months ago to go to Washington, D.C., for a conference. It was only a couple of weeks ago that I realized I’d be flying in on the day of your vanity parade.

What a waste of taxpayer money. It’s as bad as your weekly golf trips.

Yet we can’t afford cancer research, SNAP benefits, Medicaid, an HIV vaccine, etc.

Sure. 🙄

Anyway.

I’m staying up near DuPont Circle, which was a ghost town. I assumed it was because everyone was still at a No Kings protest or at your thing.

Maybe the former, but certainly not the latter. Admittedly, I got there near the end. (Yes, I went because I’m nosy).

I expected to see a whole bunch of your acolytes. I saw maybe three obvious ones and a couple I suspect.

Maybe these folks? 🤷🏻‍♀️

It seemed … poorly attended. I thought I must be missing something. I had a look at social media to see.

Oooh. That’s got to sting.

Oh, yes. Look at you:

Sour Puss next to Whiskey Pete, the DUI hire

It couldn’t happen to a worse person. I hope you had a terrible day. Sorry, not sorry.

I have never liked you. That’s never been a secret. You are everything people teach their kids not to be: greedy, petty, vindictive, boastful, willfully ignorant, etc.

And your policies actively hurt most people and help only very rich people.

[For people who say I have Trump Derangement Syndrome, and my life is better because of Trump, you can f—- all the way off. I know my life, and it was made worse by this idiot’s policies the first time (taxes, work experiences), and already this second time (work repercussions).]

I mean, look at you already backing off your immigration stance.

It’s only because you realized it was hurting your wealthy friends who employ undocumented workers.

As I was walking around, I was pleased to see a few things, such as these lightpost signs:

And then, I saw this:

Awww. So much empty.

There was a significant police presence, but not enough humans around to justify.

I heard some sirens and noise, so I followed the sound and found some people leaving the Washington Monument area.

It was a mix of people leaving the parade plus leftover No Kings. Then I went down the block a bit.

Some chanting, that’s it. Peaceful protest.

I was wearing my “Maybe today, Satan” shirt, but I did not get involved. Frankly, in my heart I know not ACAB, but I saw what enforcement folks did to reporters and regulars in L.A. I have a conference to attend, and I can’t do it from the hospital or jail.

Maybe. Maybe not.

So I left, and I ate a lovely dinner at Nando’s. Did NOT raise a glass to you.

I hope you are miserable knowing that millions of people turned out in cities large and small in the U.S. and abroad to protest you and all those who enable you — your junk drawer of a “Cabinet,” the spineless sycophants in Congress, your donors, and anyone who voted for you and still supports you.

I hope you had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

With no regards,
Beth

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

As a matter of fact #MondayMatters

March 3, 2025 by Beth

Dear Americans:

Some of you still have a few brain cells to rub together. I’m happy to see that.

But some of you are COLOSSALLY DUMB.

I mean, you can blame your lack of knowledge on the media you consume, but at some point you have to take responsibility.

The whole internet is RIGHT THERE. You can search for accurate information.

Use the critical thinking skills that set us higher vertebrates apart.

To make it easier for you, here are some facts:

Russia invaded Ukraine. No one disputed that until Trump started using Russian talking points. You know what would end the war? Russia can get the F out of someone else’s country.

Our allies support Zelenskyy. Russia doesn’t, obvi. But RUSSIA is not our ally in this conflict. Or wasn’t.

Trump/Vance are not the good guys on the world stage. They also are not the good guys at home for the 75 million Americans who did not vote for them. Also, please remember why Trump was impeached the first time.

The U.S. reneged on a deal. We made promises. We were supposed to be an ally to Ukraine and to Europe.

The budget bill the Republican-controlled House just passed 217-215 will add $5 trillion to the deficit. It will require cuts to programs such as Medicaid yet the top tier of earners and corporations make out like bandits. Why do y’all ever put Republicans in charge? They screw the economy every time.

These two images represent what’s happening with Trump/Musk/DOGE:

https://apnews.com/article/doge-faa-air-traffic-firings-safety-67981aec33b6ee72cbad8dcee31f3437

Musk does not know what he is doing.

Many people are pissed at what’s happening — people on the right and the left. They don’t like Musk. They aren’t happy with what Trump/Vance did to Zelenskyy. They are going to any town halls that reps are having, and they are voicing their displeasure. The Republican response? Stop going. Can you believe it? They are also saying that the people attending are either Democrats or are paid/bussed in by the DNC. Three thoughts: (1) Probably not. I saw one town hall video where Kansas Sen. Marshall walked out immediately after a man said, “I’m not a Democrat, but I’m worried about the veterans.” (2) Democrats are constituents too. I’ve been calling my reps every three or so days for the last couple of weeks. (3) I don’t care. The reps still need to answer questions publicly. They need to stop hiding behind social media accounts and their PR people.

Tariffs are paid by consumers. Trump is lying or fundamentally mistaken when he says other countries will pay.

Trump is a pathological liar. For example, his approval ratings are in the toilet, unlike what he tells everyone. The only president who had lower ratings was him in his first term.

When I write posts like this, I always think, “This time. This time, it will work. This time, people will see reason: I will have found the right combination of images, links and text.”

But then I have interactions with those of you like this:

And I see that there is genuinely no hope for some of you.

If I were in a club bathroom with America, I’d say, “Girl, you’re in trouble.”

WAKE UP.

At least stop existing on a diet of whatever FOX, the former Twitter, Facebook, your church, etc., feeds you.

Kthxbyeeee,
Beth

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Just a joke* #SatireSunday

February 23, 2025 by Beth

COMING THIS SUMMER!

BIG DON and LITTLE BUDDY’S

A new theme park for true patriots only!

Now — a theme park for the most important people of all: STRAIGHT WHITE MEN.

Only STRAIGHT WHITE MEN are allowed — preferably married men wanting to get away from the ol’ ball and chain. Leave that shrill harpy HOME where she belongs!

Only AMERICANS — except for TYRANT TUESDAYS when Americans can bring a straight male friend from one of the following countries: Russia, South Africa, and Hungary.

Only the RICH. You must make more than 360 large. NO POORS. Show your bank statement with your ticket.

Nothing WOKE here. WE GUARANTEE. You never have to see a Pride flag or a black face.**

NO DEI either. Our rides are run by the cream of the crop: TEENAGE INCELS.

Get 20 percent off OLD GLORY merch at the GRIFT SHOP and a coupon for free FREEDOM FRIES at the GUANTÁNAMO BAY BISTRO when you give the Sieg Heil at the gate.

RED, WHITE, AND BLUELAND is affiliated with the ALL NEW John F. Kennedy and Kid Rock Big Ass Honkytonk Center for the Performing Arts and Rock ‘N’ Roll Steakhouse. The MARCH LINEUP features Kid Rock, Jason Aldean, Lee Greenwood, Ted Nugent, Billy Ray Cyrus, John Rich, and Monster Truck Action with the WORLD-FAMOUS TRUCKASAURUS. Also, David Copperfield.

‘MURICA!

*For now. I think. If you like this idea, you might be a racist. If you are offended, ask yourself why.

**But if you want to wear blackface, that’s totes fine here at RED, WHITE, AND BLUELAND. It’s not just for Halloween anymore!

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Truth is stranger than fiction #ThursdayThoughts

February 20, 2025 by Beth

Isn’t FOX News basically a scam targeting seniors? I can see why this administration wouldn’t want seniors to recognize a scam — like voting for a con man.

Hey kids!

Auntie Beth has a fun new game for you. It’s called Truth AND Consequences.

We’ll start with a scenario. You decide if it’s real or if Auntie Beth’s fertile imagination made it up Onion-style. Here’s an example:

Trump administration fires more than 300 staffers at the National Nuclear Security Administration. Rehires them the next day when they realize those people oversee America’s nuclear weapons. But wait: They can’t locate their personal contact info and are asking remaining employees for help.

Is this real or fake news?

If you answered real, you are RIGHT!

Are you ready? Here we go!

USDA accidentally fired officials working on bird flu and is now trying to rehire them.

REAL!

A reality TV star in charge of transportation weighed in on autism research promoted by an anti-vax former (?) heroin addict in charge of health.

REAL!

Trump just delegitimized a vaccine he was proud of getting to the public quickly.

REAL!

A non-elected, non-government person with no oversight has been given broad access to internal, confidential U.S. government databases and is making sweeping decisions on funding programs based on whether he thinks they are valuable or not. Oh, and he makes $7 million per day from the very same government.

FAKE NEWS! Elon Musk makes $8 million per day from all his federal contracts.

VP Vance refused to meet with the Chancellor of Germany, but did meet with the leader of the far-right German party who calls Holocaust remembrance a “guilt cult.”

REAL!

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson and Senate Majority Leader John Thune said that Trump cannot continue to govern through Executive Orders — that they are done being “his bitches,” and he must work with Congress.

Please. Are you kidding? That’s as FAKE as RFK Jr.’s tan. Those two couldn’t find a spine if they were locked overnight in the Brooklyn Bone Museum.

The man above was busted for:

A. Serving minors in his bar.
B. Drinking on the job.
C. Cheating on his taxes.
D. Causing an international PR crisis.

This is a toughie. It’s D for sure, but also likely C and B (though it LOOKS like A if you happen to just glance at the TV*).

Old man who has been accusing everyone of spending too much money spends $5 million for a joyride around a racetrack.

REAL!

Two Republican reps have introduced legislation to increase your bank fees.

REAL!

And one wants to rename Greenland to “Red, White, and Blueland.”

REAL!

A woman reported to be a Chinese spy has been chosen to head national intelligence for America.

FAKE NEWS! Tulsi Gabbard allegedly works for Russia.

The President of the United States of America declared himself king.

REAL!

The Internal Revenue Service is about to lay off 6,000 employees in the middle of tax season.

FAKE NEWS! It’s closer to 6,700.

The image above is of:

A. Mr. Potato Head in human form.
B. A man who claimed that advising people of their rights is a crime.
C. A contributor to Project 2025.

The answer is both B and C, but A also appears to be true.

The wheelchair-bound governor of Texas signed a bill overturning the very policies that are supposed to help disabled people get a fair shake.

REAL!

How many out of the 15 did you get right? (Were you even able to add up your score through your tears and/or blinding rage?)

This is America, y’all. Schoolhouse Rock didn’t prepare us for this bullshit.

The United States has three branches of government. At the moment, only the executive branch and judicial branch seem to be active. The Republicans in Congress seem to be OK with Trump governing via Executive Order.

Auntie Beth says if you don’t like it, call your Senators and Representatives. Auntie Beth knows that a woman’s place is in the resistance.

*According to my friend John.

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Songs, suplexes and a savior on the sea #SundayStories

February 9, 2025 by Beth

Dear Friends and Family,

This time last week, I was on a cruise. I didn’t pay the exorbitant fee for ship WiFi, and I was thus blissfully unaware of Leon and his band of Hitler youth interns hijacking the Treasury. Among other things. 🙄

Oh those halcyon days!

Anyway.

What kind of cruise?

Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Rager at Sea.

Listen: I grew up in Georgia. Y’all know I’m a redneck.

Wrestling was a part of my childhood. Dusty Rhodes, the American Dream, was like kin. One of my first crushes was Robert Fuller, whose tag-team partner was Ted DiBiase, the Million Dollar Man.

All Elite Wrestling is the best. It’s far superior in storylines to World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s like a soap opera featuring sweaty men. And one of the best characters is Chris Jericho. He understands the assignment.

Jericho is on the right wearing a onesie featuring cats and tacos.

Jericho also fronts one of my favorite bands: Fozzy. Fozzy performed on the cruise, along with a bunch of other bands.

Wrestling AND rock music? It’s the perfect combo for me. I’ve been wanting to go on this cruise for years.

Pre-trip, people would ask where the ship was going. I answered, “I don’t know. I don’t care.” Turns out: Puerto Plata, DR. Fine. I was there for what was happening on the Norwegian Gem.

In addition to Fozzy, the lineup featured the return of Great White. Yes, THAT Great White. They have a new singer. He’s very talented and VERY young. Was DEF not alive during the band’s first go ‘round.

The singer bears a striking resemblance to 20-hour Tina’s daughter Elsa.

Others: Kuarantine (another Jericho-fronted band, this one focused on KISS covers of the no-makeup years), Guardians of the Jukebox (all covers), Excitable (a Def Leppard tribute band), Nocturnal Affair (a screamy metal band), and — another favorite of mine — The Hot Damn!

Love them. Listen to “I Didn’t Like You Anyway” or “Automatic.”

And then there was the wrestling.

Ricochet and Komander put on an acrobatic show. This isn’t your dad’s wrestling extravaganza.

There was at least one show per day along with photo opps, autograph sessions, podcasts and random other events — events like a belly-flop contest.

Here’s Will Ospreay with his stellar attempt.

As you are all on a boat together, you could find yourself riding the elevator with Toni Storm.

Or passing Turbo Floyd of the Outrunners in a hallway.

He’s right out of the ‘80s all the time!

Or standing in line at the bar with Jesus.

What was hilarious later is that Fozzy has a song called, “Drinking with Jesus.” The crowd was SO EXCITED and lifted this man up to the front. Sadly, Jericho didn’t even notice. Missed opportunity, I say.

As for drinking, I started the cruise still doing Dry January. Friends, that is a rough choice. ROUGH. Especially when I hear fellow passengers say things like this about their own drinks:

“I’m drunk, and I can tell that’s strong. Got DAMN, that’s strong!”*

But I made it.

And I didn’t get crazy on the trip, either. Unlike others. Look at Will Ospreay’s face after a night of drunken karaoke:

Let me tell you: Cruises are GREAT for people watching.

On the last day at sea, my traveling friend and I sat and watched people for hours. I asked him if he was going to get a chair massage like the dude next to us.

He said, “Absolutely not.”

I said, “Why not? You liked the last massage you got.”

He said, “That was in a nice relaxing cave. This is on a ship surrounded by weird people with Great White doing a sound check in the background.”

Fair enough.

Five days, four nights of events tailored to my interests? Yes, please.

I mean, JUST LOOK!

I’ll tell you this: It was the first time on this cruise, but it won’t be the last.

Who is coming with me next time?

Let’s go!
Beth

*Yes, “got damn” with a “t.”

Posted in Music, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Runnin’ with the Devil* #ThursdayThoughts

January 23, 2025 by Beth

Dear Satan,

Well, you’ve outdone yourself: Getting “Christians” to criticize someone espousing the teachings of the Bible AND to accept two Nazi salutes in one day?

Impressive.

I would have said Hell would have frozen over before I saw these two things.

It did snow in Florida, so I guess that’s close enough.

Here’s Dominic in the snow in Pensacola, Florida. Florida = Hell for me as long as DeSantis is in charge.

Trump sold his soul to you, didn’t he? That is really the only way to explain his rise to power and the loyalty to and love for him.

Trump fans: “Back the blue! We are the party of law and order!”
Trump pardons people who killed and injured police officers.
Trump fans: “I didn’t see it.” “Are we making a big deal about the pardons that Biden put in place? That’d be worse.”

Trump fans: “Gas is too expensive. I can’t afford eggs! Trump is going to help the regular folks.”
Trump nominates billionaires to cabinet positions and invites others to his inauguration while — quite literally — leaving regular folks out in the cold.
Trump fans: “Sounds great! They will put America first.”

Trump fans: “Trump knows what he is doing. Musk is intelligent. He’s innovative.”
Musk gives what appears to be the Nazi salute not once, but twice.
Trump fans: “Oh, he’s autistic.” “It was just awkward.” But also from the actual Nazis: “We are so back.”

Musk is really smart but not smart enough not to do what looks just like a Nazi salute? And I know many autistic people who don’t run around doing that gesture. Make it make sense. Satan, is this your idea of Hell on Earth for me outside of Florida?

Succeed in what, Leon? SUCCEED IN WHAT?

There’s an excuse for every damn thing. No one ever says, “Yep. That was wrong. I don’t agree with it.” It’s always, “But Biden did this thing … “ or “I work for Trump.” No, you work for the American people.

Trump signed 42 executive orders and 115 personnel actions on the first day (many of which sound a whole heck of a lot like Project 2025 — not that Trump had any knowledge of that at all, of course).

Among them are these winners:

  • Requiring all federal workers to return to in-person work, as well as a directive to address the cost-of-living crisis. I’m sure that order is going over well with workers. And I’m no genius like Musk, but I’m thinking that the cost of living is much lower in rural areas instead of cities where federal workers might have to be in the office. If they could work from home from these areas, it might kill two birds with one stone. But what do I know?
  • Ending birthright citizenship protected by the 14th Amendment. Nice try, but Trump can’t change the U.S. Constitution with an Executive Order. Both chambers of Congress would have to pass the amendment with a two-thirds majority, plus at least 38 states would have to approve. Not so easy peasy. Fun fact: People have said that four of his five kids won’t be citizens anymore, but that isn’t true: One parent had to be a U.S. citizen at the time of the child’s birth. But guess who WOULDN’T be considered a citizen anymore? Kamala Harris (probably why petty Mr. Trump is so keen on getting rid of the protection). You know who else? Vivek Ramaswamy. Oh, and new Secretary of State Marco Rubio. C’est la vie!
  • Withdrawing from the Paris Agreement. Why? Because it doesn’t hold everyone accountable like it should? Ooookkkayyy. The reality is that climate change is fast making this planet unbearable. I’m not understanding how people can say that humans can control the weather and are responsible for the L.A. wildfires but NOT for climate change in general.
  • Withdrawing from the World Health Organization. Why? Because they hurt Trump’s fee fees during the COVID pandemic for how he handled it? If the United States is out, it’s likely China will step up. That would give them more worldwide influence. Is that a good idea?
  • Renaming Gulf of Mexico and Denali to Gulf of America and Mount McKinley respectively. Regarding the first, GTFO. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I mean, fine. I guess Trump can make the United States do what he wants, but he can’t make the world call it that. Regarding the second, there is some ridiculousness at play here. Just look at this from the White House website:
Denali already is named to honor our nation’s history — Native American history as it comes from Alaska’s Koyukon Athabascan people, translating roughly to “The Great One.” A prospector named Dickey started calling it Mount McKinley in 1897; the federal government officially named it McKinley in 1917. Alaska reps started trying to get the name changed back to Denali beginning in 1975 and finally succeeded in 2015, over the protests of the reps in McKinley’s home state of Ohio. OHIO. By the way, McKinley never even set foot in Alaska. So which history is Trump honoring? A president who only served for four years (1897-1901) or, you know, an entire people and country that existed before white folks showed up? That’s a rhetorical question. I know whom Trump likes.

I genuinely think Trump does and says crazy things every day so that he keeps the focus and also so that no one has time to really give any of these things full attention. Nothing gets even one full news cycle. Not that the national news is doing any kind of real news reporting. (And I say that as someone who was an actual news reporter.)

Anyway, back to the beginning.

“But mah eggs!”

Listen, kitten, eggs are not going to get cheaper. First, there’s the H5 bird flu — now found in a Georgia commerical poultry plant (fun!).

Second, Trump has rich friends he wants to please (see above).

A 50-page plan from the House Ways and Means Committee outlines exciting ways to give tax breaks to wealthy people and corporations and all the things they can cut to pay for it:

Handouts include removing the estate tax for millionaires, lowering the corporate tax rate to 15 percent, and repealing the corporate profit minimum tax of 15 percent. Cost? $1.2 trillion.

Ways to pay for it? Well, they aren’t going to turn around and tax those same people. Guess who pays? I’ll take “working families” for $100, Alex.**

How? By removing the mortgage interest deduction, raising taxes on single parents, raising taxes on college students, eliminating the tax credit for child care. Oh right, and the tariff on imports, which will be passed along to consumers because THAT IS HOW TARIFFS WORK.

Satan, you have really done a number here. You convinced so many people to vote against their own best interests. Congratulations! Really, good job! During the election, there was one candidate promising $25K toward a down payment for a house. Now the one who won — your buddy! — is taking away a tax credit for people who somehow manage to actually own a house. Delightful!

Really spectacular work. You’ve gone above and beyond.

I’m SO EXCITED to be living in this timeline, Satan. Thanks so much for your machinations.

(Maybe I should have added a trigger warning for extreme sarcasm.)

Sigh.

At least this train wreck can’t go on indefinitely. For you to get a soul, the person has to … expire. No one lives forever.

Not that I’m wishing death on anyone or anything. Of course not.

Maybe good ultimately will win.

Maybe some people in power will discover they have spines.

Maybe you’ll get distracted by a Georgia kid named Johnny or something.

Who knows?!

One can only hope.

Anyway, congrats! You’re winning. #tigerblood
Beth

*It’s only Van Halen if David Lee Roth is singing. Otherwise, it’s Van Hagar.

**Don’t believe me? Read the pdf.

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive* #NYE #2024 #BuhBYE

December 31, 2024 by Beth

Dear 2024:

You were a mixed bag. A review of my posts this year reflects high highs and low lows.

For this post, though, I’m going to focus on the positive.

I got to see both of my sons at Christmas. Joy!

  1. My younger son (Gideon) chose to study environmental science at the university for which I work. That means free tuition, a great education, and I get to see him all the time. He earned two As and a B in his first semester and loves it.
  2. My older son (Dominic) attended Navy A School in Pensacola, Florida, graduated fourth in his class, and is about to go to Norfolk, Virginia. He seems happy, mature and focused.
  3. Ex (Eddie) is dating a lovely woman who was gracious enough to invite me over for Christmas dinner.
  4. My man friend and I got to explore more of Oregon: Bend, hot springs, Seal Rock, Eugene, etc.
  5. Got to see St. Louis family, framily and friends for Thanksgiving. Man, I miss that town and those people. Gideon went with me, begrudgingly according to him. At the end, he had this to say, “I actually had a good time.” Actually. 🙄
  6. Though I miss St. Louis, I love my job and my coworkers. Oregon is growing on me.
  7. Wendy and Wallace visited me this month, and we managed to all spill beer on Wallace. Lucky him!
  8. I’ve been taking care of my granddog (Vince) while Gideon is with his father on winter break. Leo and Vince are getting along. That in itself is a Christmas miracle.
  9. Saw “Wicked” the movie, “DRAG the Musical” and “A Wonderful World” in New York, along with friends Michael, Shane, Jason and Brooke while I was there for my birthday.
  10. Also got to see my birth father. Third year in a row of going out to see him as part of my birthday weekend. Cool, right? Seems fitting. And we are trying to make up for lost time.
  11. 36-hour Tina broke her own record. New moniker: 20-hour Tina. She got into New York at 2 p.m. on my birthday, and I dropped her off at La Guardia at 10 the next morning. In between, we ate at trendy Cocodaq, participated in “Life and Trust,” shopped at Bryant Park, and stayed at the notorious Standard High Line.
  12. I won “Squid Game: The Experience.”
I won the mask I’m wearing, entrance to the VIP lounge, 20% off items in the gift shop, and bragging rights.
Brooke told me I was the only one to make it across the finish line in Red Light, Green Light. All those years of having to freeze in various plays during my MFA years paid off!
Brooke and I enjoy the Squid Game VIP lounge.
Hour Two of 20-hour Tina’s visit
Look at this chicken. In the bucket. (Not Tina, as she’s fairly brave.)
Birthday brunch with Michael — a delight!
I always have to see the Rockefeller Center tree.
And watch the OG Grinch every year.
While I was visiting the boys in Savannah, I picked up a few necessities I can’t get in Oregon.
Leo and Vince
See? Getting along.

I’m hopeful that 2025 has more ups than downs, but I remain thankful for the abundance of joy in my life.

Happy New Year!
Beth

*Johnny Mercer, of course.

Posted in Friends, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Stupid is as stupid does #TuesdayTantrums

December 3, 2024 by Beth

Dear People Who Like To Be “In The Know,”

With all the drama surrounding the Biden pardon*, you may have missed the other big drama unfolding on the platform formerly known as Twitter:

A woman defended her dissertation and posted about it. Normal people would say “Congrats!” and go on with their lives.

But on Leon’s platform, no one behaves normally.

People lost their ever-lovin’ minds.

Categories of outrage:

  1. She should be having kids, not studying anything.
  2. ⁠Her topic is stupid.
  3. It’s stupid and WOKE.
  4. ⁠Taxpayer money (! – from the stupid Americans, of course) spent on stupid topic. (Note: She’s in the UK.)
  5. ⁠She’s seeking validation and is therefore stupid.
  6. Her topic is stupid, and therefore I’m smarter (the “I” here being the outraged respondent).
  7. A degree is a waste.

You don’t believe me? Here is a quick sample:

(Note that all these accounts have Leon’s blue check, indicating they pay for the “privilege.” 🙄)

The one that takes the cake is the one she references here:

I mean: WHAT THE ACTUAL F—-?!

One of the main through lines here is that people do not understand that dissertations are always relatively niche. They cap a broader area of study.

It’s not just that they don’t understand. They also are completely unwilling to learn.

The anti-intellectualism, anti-science, anti-knowledge, sheer-contempt-for-education bent that many people seem to have is on full display.

I waded in when I saw this:

Um … WHAT?!

What benefit does anyone intend to bring to the world with our education and, ultimately, our job?

Well, Marilyn, who claims she worked successfully as a technical writer at a Fortune 300 company without needing more than a high-school degree, thinks that Dr. Louks can’t write, isn’t a deep thinker, wasted her time on an advanced degree, and won’t get a job.

Note that Dr. Louks already is teaching at Cambridge, but why let a fact stand in the way of Marilyn’s superior opinion?

Before I go on, let me remind you that our Marilyn was a technical writer (so she says). And she is criticizing Dr. Louks’ writing ability. DEAR GOD. My copyediting brain is going to explode.

I tried to share information with her. I can’t help it.

I tried because I would consider myself knowledgeable about the subject at hand:

1. I wrote a dissertation and earned a Ph.D.
2. I work in higher education.
3. I hire newly minted academic doctors all the time.

My brothers and sisters in Christ, I’m sure you can imagine that it did not stop there. There was a fair amount of back and forth where I explained that some jobs do indeed require an advanced degree, that I have one (an advanced degree AND a job) in higher education, and that Dr. Louks will be OK.

Here we are nearing the end where I finally gave up.

<RECORD SCRATCH>

I DON’T? I literally spend half my waking hours working in the education system.

So I said it’s my field, not hers. That she’s doubling down on being ignorant, and I was done trying to help her understand.

You can’t fix stupid.

She’s still on there making these insane claims. She’s learned nothing.

Meanwhile, I’ve learned that I really do need to stay on Bluesky where it’s civil. It’s like the early days of Twitter. No “premium” subscription needed.

Please check it out before the trolls take over. Or Leon buys it and ruins it like everything else he touches.

See you there!
Beth

*BTW, let’s put that in perspective:

Donald Trump pardons Steve Bannon, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, etc.
MAGA: THIS IS HIS RIGHT!

Joe Biden pardons Hunter Biden.
MAGA: THIS IS SO WRONG!

(credit to @JoJofromJerz)

“BUT JOE LIED! He said he wouldn’t!” Yeah, well, things change. Trump and his cronies said they were going after Hunter and many others as soon as they get in. Also, Trump lied more than 30K times during his term, so maybe take a seat. Or several.

Finally, Hunter’s punishment didn’t fit his crime. Talk about a witch hunt.

So if you support the felon (convicted, I’ll remind you, by a JURY) and his cabinet of rapists/thugs/sycophants/donors (including daughter’s father-in-law — also a felon whom he pardoned), zip it about the pardon.

Posted in Education | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

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