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Posts Tagged ‘White people’

(Shaky) Knees deep in good music #TuesdayTunes #ShakyKnees

Posted in Music, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 9, 2023| 5 Comments »

Dear Tracy and Brian,

Just when I had about given up on humanity, you came along.

Even during a time of personal grief, you did the most lovely thing.

You gifted a stranger VIP tickets to Shaky Knees.

I hate that you experienced a loss. I hate that you had to cancel your trip to Atlanta for Brian’s birthday celebration, and thus the stay you booked in my Airbnb. But instead of reselling the wristbands, you (amazingly) sent them to me.

I will be honest here: I had never been to a multistage music festival.

Given my love of live music, it’s really surprising.

I’ve seen “Trainwreck: Woodstock 99.” That’s like “Halloween” (i.e., a horror movie) to me.

But your generosity pushed me out of my comfort zone.

My friend Jennifer was up for the adventure.

I really didn’t know what to expect, besides lots of music and people.

Lovejoy on the main stage: Peachtree.
Here’s Spacey Jane at the Piedmont Stage.
Illuminati Hotties at the Criminal Records Stage.

And among 40K people, what is the chance I would run into someone I know?

Very high, apparently.

Look: It’s Renee and Brian! Renee and I worked together in Atlanta.
The swanky wristband had many perks.

One of the biggest perks to me was the use of air-conditioned bathrooms in an RV-type structure. No porta potty for this lady!

Another perk: Free beer and water.

You know what else was free? People watching.

Let me say that I have mad respect for people wearing whatever the hell they want to wear.

Unlike this brave girl, however, I prefer to keep my bum covered unless I’m at the beach. And even then not so much.

I enjoyed seeing a medley of concert and other kinds of T-shirts. This one was my favorite:

I also loved that parents brought their older children (12-16 or so). As someone who indoctrinated exposed her children to music early on, I approve. (My kids’ first concert was The Police.)

Jennifer and I packed in as many bands as we could.

Be Your Own Pet
Cypress Hill
Rickshaw Billie’s Burger Patrol
Joey Valence & Brae
The Front Bottoms
Trash Panda

All put on a good show. And I know most people were there to see Muse, The Lumineers, Hozier and The Killers.

People love The Killers.

But I was there to see two artists:

Peaches, in all her weird envelope-pushing glory (Yes, that’s an outfit featuring many breasts)
And Tenacious D

Those two made the festival worth it for me.

Though I’m not a fan of crowds, everyone was well-behaved.

We had a great time!

So thank you for your generosity.

I hope you will be able to make the trip next year. And if you do, I owe you a deep discount on your stay.

Thanks again!

Your new friend,
Beth

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It’s a CATastrophe over on Next Door #WhiningWednesday

Posted in Advice, Random, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2023| 8 Comments »

Y’all.

I’ve mentioned before how much I love the Next Door app.

I cannot get enough of the petty drama. Just look:

Lord have mercy. These PEOPLE.

But I am HERE for it.

And for what it is worth, I’m Team Heather.

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‘Crosse country seeing #SundayStories

Posted in Parenting, tagged , , , , , , , on April 2, 2023| 2 Comments »

Dear Dominic and Gideon,

Thanks for inviting me to your most-recent game. It was nice to see you two playing on a team together for the first time in about 13 years.

But the sport?

I don’t understand.

Your father played and coached basketball. You are both 6’2″ and could be good at basketball.

But no. You chose something else: lacrosse.

Lacrosse!

It’s apparently the oldest team sport in America, but I don’t know nothing about playing lacrosse. But it looks like basketball mixed with hockey.

There’s so much whacking with the stick about your person. And this is not only allowed, but encouraged.

And pushing is OK too.

I found this out when someone on the other team shoved Gideon and sent him flying on the field in front of me. Home and Away were sitting on the same side of the bleachers, and I heard someone say, “Good push.”

I nearly lost my Mom mind, but realized I would be sorely outnumbered.

I yelled down, “Are you OK?”

Gideon, you yelled, “Yeah.”

Then the people behind me clapped for you when you got up.

I got verklempt when you ran over to your team on the other side and you, Dominic, hugged him like a good big brother should.

Even though your team lost the game, it was a nice day outside, great to see you two in action, and I’m learning new things. All of those are good.

Keep up the good teamwork!

Love,
Mama

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The Show Me (Something Stupid) State #WednesdayWacko

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 18, 2023| 3 Comments »

Dear Rep. Ann Kelley,

What — and I mean this sincerely — the f*** are you doing?

WHY would you propose a change to the Missouri House of Representatives rules that forces women to cover their arms?

And you are a woman. What the heck?!

Let me get this straight: You lost your mind over requiring people to wear masks a couple of years ago to stop the spread of COVID, but now you are forcing women to wear sleeves?

You claim it was to clarify language to be “equal” to men. (By the way, you really should hire a PR person or copy editor or SOMEONE to help you with your writing skills.)

Sure it was.

I can’t believe it was adopted 105-51. (Note that the House is made up of 116 men and 43 women. Party affiliation for reference: 111 R, 52 D.)

I can’t believe you wasted any time on this at all. Have you seen the state rankings? Just look!

30th in Education

42nd in Public Safety

42nd in Healthcare

I swear to God — you are affecting my healthcare: my mental health!

I really don’t know why I’m surprised at either of the things above. It’s so much easier to control women and what they do and wear rather than tackle big issues in all people’s lives. Right, Ann?

What an embarrassment this is for the state. You want to be in the international consciousness with this foolishness?

I’m so glad my representative didn’t vote for this nonsense. (Granted, I think he was absent that day.)

Pull yourself together, please. Focus on important issues.

Sincerely,
Beth, a Missouri resident with sense

Bare arms vs. bear arms (God forbid she wears a mask.) Photo credit here.

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People in Your Neighborhood* #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Advice, Home Sweet Home, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Dear Neighbors,

Y’all be out here WILDIN’ (as the kids say). That is, if the Next Door app is any indication.

I live a quiet life. I mind my own business. I’m not out trying to be the stereotype of Angry White Woman (i.e., Karen or BBQ Becky).

Some of you are LIVING for the drama. And bringing it.

For example, Laurie and Claralyn woke up and chose violence.

And then there are posts like the following that have me shaking my head, for a variety of reasons.

My guilty pleasure is following the Best of Next Door on Twitter.

I mean, LOOK:

How could I resist?

But in the words of the late, great Rodney King, “Can’t we all get along?”

Despite the inauspicious start, I get along with both my next-door neighbors, and I’m close with about a dozen of you in our neighborhood. And some of you must like me a little as you voted me into a leadership role. I also took on the task of editing the neighborhood newspaper. Because of course I did.

As I have free rein with the paper, I want to start an advice column to help resolve minor conflicts. Like alley clippings. Neighbor friends Kathy and Marlane have agreed to help.

I think it could be fun. Also, it may raise everyone’s self awareness and tolerance.

But probably not. 😬😉

Anyway, I’m just trying to help. No need to get knickers in a twist over Christmas lights and weeds, when there is the VERY REAL problem of holiday creep.

My friend Jude sent me evidence of Valentine’s Day merch in a store on Dec. 27.

THAT’S a problem.

Your neighbor,
Beth

*RIP Bob McGrath.

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Dude looks like a lady* #TuesdayTirade

Posted in Politics, Religion (or lack thereof), tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2022| 9 Comments »

Dear Beauty (and those with similar viewpoints),

I read your blog, posts, etc., because your beliefs are so different from mine. I’m really trying to understand. To find some common ground. It’s really hard, though.

And you clearly aren’t seeking dissenting voices. (I’ve mentioned before how you won’t approve comments that disagree with you. That’s your prerogative, of course.)

In your latest post, “The War For Young Minds” (no hyperbole there 🙄), you lament a part of “Hocus Pocus 2.”

Unpopular opinion: Your mistake was watching “Hocus Pocus 2” and not because of any drag queens. The original “Hocus Pocus” is unbearable.

But I digress.

Here’s the thing (and what I wrote in a comment that you deleted):

This doesn’t affect you. Drag queens do not impact your quality of life. A trans person living his/her/their life does not harm you in any way.

Let’s talk about the pejorative “woke.” Why is it so wrong to show people who are different from ourselves on TV and in movies? Why is representation threatening to you? Why does it bother you that a person wants you to use preferred pronouns in reference to him/her/them?

I know you are super religious, so let’s talk about a quality of God you’ve mentioned: never making mistakes.

You know what does affect children? The fear of being killed in school. There was a shooting Monday at a school three miles away from my house. That’s 40 school shootings this year, in case you are keeping track.

For someone who is so devoutly pro life, I would think you would care about that.

I have never once worried that a drag queen was going to kill me or children. In fact, drag queens have improved my life with meat prizes.

You know what else affects children? Predatory behavior.

I would think that Christian Republicans like yourself would care about that too. But no, that concern is selective, political, engineered and manifested for personal gain.

I have never once worried that a drag queen was going to molest my children.

So spare me your outrage. All I see is hypocrisy.

If you profess to care about children, you need to care about the children going to school worried about their safety. And children being preyed upon by grown men. And the ones who are LBGTQIA.

Some children may even grow up to be drag queens. If they are lucky. 😉

How do you explain to a kid why men are dressed as women? You say, “Because they want to.”

It’s as easy as that.

I mean, who cares?

Right. You do. Too much.

“Woke agenda.” Sigh. Drag is “harmful.”

Look. Listen.

Raise your children the way you want. Have the experiences you want to have. Surround yourself with likeminded people. Believe in and celebrate God. That’s your privilege. But know that it is YOUR responsibility to watch over your children, not Disney’s.

Someday, I hope your view of what’s appropriate, acceptable, “normal” and worth attention will change.

In the meantime, I wish you all the best.

Sincerely,
Beth

*Thanks, Aerosmith!

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Travelin’ (wo)man #Sunday Stories

Posted in Travel, tagged , , , , , , on October 16, 2022| 4 Comments »

Dear Fellow Travelers:

Some of y’all need a refresher in how to behave in airports and on planes.

Auntie Beth is here to help.

DO move to the side of the terminal walkway if you want to text, eat your food or walk slowly.
DON’T eat your chicken wings in the middle of the walkway between gates with your suitcase two feet away from you (and also in the middle of the walkway).

DO give up the armrest to the person in the middle.
DON’T be the person in the middle who also manspreads and elbows the people on the aisle and window.

DO remember that people around you have ears.
DON’T talk to your seatmate at the top of your voice, take phone calls, FaceTime or watch videos without headphones. (I can’t believe I have to remind you.)

DO be aware of personal space.
DON’T run over people with your suitcase, whack someone with your backpack or sling your Doritos bag around with crumbs flying everywhere.

DO follow instructions.
DON’T be a complete idiot.

Folks, there’s an image. How hard is it to follow directions?

DO have manners in general.
DON’T act like the plane is your personal living room.

This man was a complete boor. So loud. Stopped in the doorway to keep talking to his seatmate. I mean, just look at his foot on the seat. That tells you everything you need to know.

It’s very simple: BE CONSIDERATE. We will all thank you.

Let’s make traveling as irritant-free as possible.

With love,
Auntie Beth

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Our town #SundayStories

Posted in Home Sweet Home, tagged , , , , , , , on September 3, 2022| Leave a Comment »

Dear Kate and Kathy,

We appear to have a symbiotic relationship. I force you to get out and “people” occasionally. You tell me about all the good stuff going on in the neighborhood.

I had no idea when I moved in that our neighborhood is such a happening place!

Naked bike rides, concerts in the park, Friday evening socials, garden tours, antiques fairs, the Moonlight Ramble, and now the Tour de Lafayette.

It’s such a big deal that it even warranted beer tents.

Not that I could partake. Beer and a 5:44 a.m. flight don’t mix.

Still, it was cool to see the racers whipping around the park.

So thanks for the intel. See you Tuesday for game night!

Your new neighbor/friend,
Beth

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Barenaked ladies (and men) #SundayStories

Posted in Home Sweet Home, tagged , , , , , , on July 31, 2022| 5 Comments »

Dear Kate,

Thanks for telling me about the World Naked Bike Ride.

I would never have known about it. That’s what neighbors are for, I guess.

I had no idea that hundreds of naked people would be riding along the street that is perpendicular to mine: tits and bits mere steps from my front door.

Naturally, we pulled out the chairs to watch the procession.

I had a moment of concern as I had Gideon, 16, with me. But I’m not prudish, and he has access to PLENTY through his phone.

Here they come!

I needn’t have been worried at all. It was not, IN ANY WAY, a sexualized, deviant event.

In fact, the ride might have put all of us off sex for a very long time. 😉😂

There they go.

Good for all the riders for promoting body positivity and the reduction of our carbon footprint.

And thanks, neighbor, for making sure I know about crucial local events. This one was (as you well know) right up my alley.

See you Tuesday for game night!
Beth

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Signed, Sealed, Undelivered* @UPS #SundayStories #ShittyService #UPS

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , on May 29, 2022| 2 Comments »

Dear UPS,

You SUCK. Truly and completely.

Scenario:

Gideon left his glasses at a friend’s house. Friend and friend’s mom sent them back via UPS. They never arrived. Tracking number came up as “invalid” on phone searches. A computer search turned it up in Alpharetta. Where? I don’t know. This is all the information I had:

Left at the front desk WHERE in Alpharetta? Friend and mom shipped from Brookhaven to Gideon in Savannah! (Note: Brookhaven is 20 miles away from Alpharetta, and both are more than 270 miles from Savannah.)

So I filed a claim.

A month went by with no answer.

I emailed you.

This is what you said:

Shan K., I can ASSURE you it was not delivered to the address.

I wrote back. (I TRIED to call, but was hung up on TWICE.)

Then Ana Z got involved.

  1. The delivery address was correct. I confirmed that with friend and friend’s mom and THE ACTUAL RECEIPT.
  2. They sent it from Brookhaven. The package ended up in Alpharetta.
  3. There are EIGHT UPS stores in Alpharetta.

I called ALL EIGHT stores looking for a Richard who was working there in March. The LAST store I called was the only one with a Richard. He happened to be working when I called.

Oh, yeah. It’s right here.

He confirmed that the address was correct. And then CHARGED me to have it resent.

Why? Because the package was sent originally from a different store. UPS stores are franchises. So Alpharetta is not responsible for Brookhaven.

So to recap:

  1. The first driver was lazy as hell. (Mailing address was accurate.)
  2. The claims process is a joke. (No updates/information.)
  3. Your customer service is beyond laughable. (Didn’t actually do anything and gave conflicting information.)
  4. I’m out $11.68 and time out of my life to deal with this hassle. (Evidence of your sucktitude.)
I paid the ransom money, and it arrived Friday.

YOU should have tracked down this package for me. I should not have had to call EIGHT stores to find one with an employee named Richard. And I want my $11.68 back.

Never again, UPS.

Sincerely,
A Former Customer

*Sorry, Stevie.

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