Posted in Friends, Random, Travel, tagged Beer and wine, Chickens, Food, Friends, Out of the house, St. Louis, Travel, Writing on April 23, 2023| Leave a Comment »
Dear Readers,
I know I haven’t posted in a while. There’s plenty going on, but I’m not processing it through writing at the moment.
I DID want to share a bit of my day today, though.
A former work friend was in town, and we went to a place I had never been before:
Naturally, I loved it. I’ve been meaning to go, and I finally got the chance.
I’ll be back in writing action again soon, I hope.
Love,
Beth
Posted in Parenting, tagged Adoption, Advice, Aging, Family, Fear, Friends, Kids, Parenting, St. Louis, Writing on January 5, 2023| 4 Comments »
Dear Friends and Family,
Buckle up: Mr. Toad has nothing on Auntie Beth’s wild ride.
(Here’s Part 1, 2 and 3 to get you up to speed.)
The next logical step was to contact my birth father.
Folks, this was easier said than done.
Not that he was hard to find. As soon as I had his name, I put my reporter experience to work and tracked down his address.
It was more that I wasn’t sure how to make this connection. The problem? He didn’t know about me. At all.
For a variety of reasons (including the fact that they had broken up), Kathy didn’t tell him she was pregnant.
So.
Do I call him? Show up at his house? Contact another relative I found (à la Cousin Laura for Kathy)? Eeesh.
I decided to go with the snail-mail route. It had worked before, so maybe it would work again.
But how do I start THAT letter?
Y’all, I’m a writer, but that was THE HARDEST LETTER to write. How do you announce your existence to someone who helped make you? That’s a big deal.
Kathy was worried about me and my plan. She told me she wasn’t sure how he would react.
Yeah.
For TWO FULL YEARS, I agonized over what to say, how to write that damn letter.
My friend Tyler (who cuts my hair) told me, “Don’t come back unless you have an update.” She was kidding. I think.
That was in March 2022. I pulled myself together.
The good stationery and penmanship came out again.
I chose the “rip off the Band-Aid” method:
I've wanted to write this letter for a while, but I didn't know exactly what to say or how to begin. I'm still not sure this is the right way, but I have to start somewhere.
You don't know me or know about me, but I'm your daughter.
I planned for it to arrive by Father’s Day. 😬😉 The tracking indicated it took FOUR DAYS to leave the St. Louis post office. I was dying.
Then on June 23, 2022, I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. It showed up as Columbia, MD, but I didn’t have my glasses on. I thought it said, “Columbia, MO,” so I assumed it was a work call. I answered.
“This is Beth.”
“Hi Beth, this is David.”
My people, I cannot express just how many emotions were vying for the top spot: happiness, surprise, nervousness, etc.
Gideon and Eddie saw my face. They were curious and concerned.
I mouthed, “My father.” Their eyes nearly sprung out of their sockets.
I went into another room so I could focus.
It was, in a word, unreal.
And clearly too much to explain in this one post. Get ready for Part 5 and 6. Thanks for joining me on this journey.
XO,
Beth
Posted in Politics, Religion (or lack thereof), tagged Church, Complaints, Fear, Government, Kids, Media, Outfits, Parasites, Peeves, Penises, Politicians, Rage, Rednecks, Signs, St. Louis, White people, Writing on October 25, 2022| 9 Comments »
Dear Beauty (and those with similar viewpoints),
I read your blog, posts, etc., because your beliefs are so different from mine. I’m really trying to understand. To find some common ground. It’s really hard, though.
And you clearly aren’t seeking dissenting voices. (I’ve mentioned before how you won’t approve comments that disagree with you. That’s your prerogative, of course.)
In your latest post, “The War For Young Minds” (no hyperbole there 🙄), you lament a part of “Hocus Pocus 2.”
Unpopular opinion: Your mistake was watching “Hocus Pocus 2” and not because of any drag queens. The original “Hocus Pocus” is unbearable.
But I digress.
Here’s the thing (and what I wrote in a comment that you deleted):
This doesn’t affect you. Drag queens do not impact your quality of life. A trans person living his/her/their life does not harm you in any way.
Let’s talk about the pejorative “woke.” Why is it so wrong to show people who are different from ourselves on TV and in movies? Why is representation threatening to you? Why does it bother you that a person wants you to use preferred pronouns in reference to him/her/them?
I know you are super religious, so let’s talk about a quality of God you’ve mentioned: never making mistakes.
You know what does affect children? The fear of being killed in school. There was a shooting Monday at a school three miles away from my house. That’s 40 school shootings this year, in case you are keeping track.
For someone who is so devoutly pro life, I would think you would care about that.
I have never once worried that a drag queen was going to kill me or children. In fact, drag queens have improved my life with meat prizes.
You know what else affects children? Predatory behavior.
I would think that Christian Republicans like yourself would care about that too. But no, that concern is selective, political, engineered and manifested for personal gain.
I have never once worried that a drag queen was going to molest my children.
So spare me your outrage. All I see is hypocrisy.
If you profess to care about children, you need to care about the children going to school worried about their safety. And children being preyed upon by grown men. And the ones who are LBGTQIA.
Some children may even grow up to be drag queens. If they are lucky. 😉
How do you explain to a kid why men are dressed as women? You say, “Because they want to.”
It’s as easy as that.
I mean, who cares?
Right. You do. Too much.
“Woke agenda.” Sigh. Drag is “harmful.”
Look. Listen.
Raise your children the way you want. Have the experiences you want to have. Surround yourself with likeminded people. Believe in and celebrate God. That’s your privilege. But know that it is YOUR responsibility to watch over your children, not Disney’s.
Someday, I hope your view of what’s appropriate, acceptable, “normal” and worth attention will change.
In the meantime, I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Beth
*Thanks, Aerosmith!
Posted in Travel, tagged Bright ideas, Death, Disorders, Family, Food, Government, Kids, Loneliness, Out of the house, Rednecks, Signs, Travel, Vegetarian/vegan, White people, Writing on October 17, 2021| 4 Comments »
Dear Fellow Blogger,
You said to me yesterday that I am “practically a foreign correspondent now.”
That resonated. I AM gathering information on a place that is new to me.
I’m trying to see and do as much as I can.
For example, I saw a billboard advertising tours of the Missouri State Penitentiary in Jefferson City.
Ghost tours.
Because of course they would offer ghost tours in October.
So I had to go.
Because of course I did.
I asked my mother if she wanted to go.
Me: I am booking a tour of the Missouri State Penitentiary Saturday night. Do you want to go?
Her: (long pause) No.
I have no trouble going places alone, so I called to make the booking.
Me: The website says there’s no availability on any weekend tour.
Lady on phone: We are sold out. When did you want to come?
Me: Saturday.
Her: How many?
Me: Just me.
Her: Just you?
Me: Just me.
Her: I can squeeze in one person.
Me: Great!
Her: 7, 8 or 9?
Me: A.M.?
Her (drily): P.M. It’s a ghost tour.
Me: Right.
So I went. It’s an hour and some change north of Rolla. Rural Missouri looks like rural Georgia.
I got to Jefferson City early so I had time to look around.
At this point, you may be asking this:
But Beth, what about the ghost tour — the whole point of your trip?
Well, it deserves a whole post on its own.
Stay tuned.
Your Midwest correspondent,
Beth
Posted in Travel, tagged Family, Festivals, Food, Friends, Out of the house, Parenting, Pets, Travel, Writing on September 26, 2021| 5 Comments »
Dear Rolla:
Though I was pained to leave my family, you have already helped me know I made the right decision.
I’m hanging out with you for a couple of months while I get acclimated to my new job and find a place to live in St. Louis.
Why was I entertained? In a word: camels.
I happened to arrive just in time for the annual Celebration of Nations parade and festival.
You know what else I loved?
After my last post, a number of friends said my decision is the right one as I’m always looking for new adventures. That’s true. And they said they look forward to me writing about them.
You’ve already given me plenty!
I’m going to be just fine.
Love,
Beth
Posted in Technology, tagged Academics, Apostrophes, Commas, Complaints, Definitions, Family, Friends, Grammar, Kids, Marriage, Media, Parenting, Punctuation, Spelling, Technology, Trish (the human), Writing on August 5, 2021| 2 Comments »
Dear Gary Chapman:
Trish the Human told me about your “Five Love Languages” philosophy ages ago. I have three languages competing for the top, but Acts of Service usually wins. No surprise.
I would like to propose Five Text Languages. I’m pretty sure everyone I know falls into one of these categories.
Words: I text in full sentences with proper grammar and punctuation. (Of course I do.) Gideon does too. Dominic texts in words without grammar or punctuation, and I want to die.
Gif: My niece Chelsea is definitely a Gif fan. This is my second favorite way to communicate.
Emoji: Eddie is an emoji user. And sometimes I can’t figure out what he means.
Bitmoji: Trish the Human is a bitmoji fan, as is my new friend Andy. (A discussion with him was the inspiration for this post.)
None, aka radio silence: This style is no style at all because these people DON’T TEXT back for DAYS, if ever. Brian and Edgar, I’m looking at you.
Which one are you?
I’m guessing you use words because you are an author.
If you read this, let me know in the comments.
Yours in service,
Beth
Posted in Parenting, tagged Aging, Atlanta, Beer and wine, Complaints, Family, Fear, Hormones, Kids, Out of the house, Parenting, Signs, Writing on June 24, 2021| 2 Comments »
Dear Readers,
I’m surprised if I have any still. My last post was June 1. That’s more than three weeks: The longest dry spell in years.
In my defense, I’ve been very busy trying to stay alive.
Both of my children are now driving.
Each child presents a different patience challenge.
Gideon has a hard time with turns. And curbs.
Dominic doesn’t like stop signs. Or using his turn signal.
I sit (mostly) quietly in my seat concentrating on my heart rate. I try not to go for the grab handle (known as the “oh shit” handle) or stomp on the imaginary brake.
All that’s fine; they are learning.
But then, when I’m driving, I’m subjected to a critique:
Dominic from the back seat: Did you use your turn signal?
Me: Yes!
Gideon on the way to the store: You took that turn pretty fast!
Me: (side eye)
Hypocrites!
Anyway, I’m still alive. For now.
I’ll try to be a better blogger.
Your obedient servant*,
Beth
*Credit to Lin Manuel.
Posted in Apartment life, tagged Academics, Apartment life, Bright ideas, Loneliness, Pandemic, Students, Technology, Work, Writing on May 27, 2021| 4 Comments »
Dear Coworkers,
It’s been an interesting year, right? We’ve made work work. And most of us did it from home, with all corresponding challenges/distractions.
I don’t know about you, but my space is not ideal.
My friend Tammy came to visit this past weekend. She HOWLED when she saw my setup.
I can’t believe you haven’t written about THAT yet!
I haven’t. It’s a little … embarrassing. I’ve had to carve out a corner of the living room.
Here’s a peek behind the curtain — the room behind the Zoom:
The other night, I walked over there to put something down on my way to the couch. Eddie said:
Oh, you just had to stop by work for a minute?
Yeah.
Sigh.
For the first six months of the pandemic, I still got dressed in my professional lady clothes (including heels) and went to work during regular business hours. But when my university welcomed back a designated number of students in the fall, the number of faculty/staff allowed on campus had to be limited.
So I set up operations at home and made the best of it.
I still dress up for work (at least on top) but I wear slippers now.
I’d love to get a look at your Zoom room. Please share!
Looking forward to seeing you in human form.
Best wishes for the return to normal,
Beth
Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged Advice, AP Style, Definitions, Savannah, Students, Writing on February 17, 2021| 3 Comments »
Dear Former Students,
You have no idea the joy I feel when one of you contacts me to tell me something I said or did had an impact on you. This is why I started teaching in the first place: to make a difference.
I flourished under professors like Dr. Brightman and Dr. Taylor. I wanted to be the same kind of advocate for learning and growth.
Or even just make you question the existence of certain words.
Susan, you made my day by sending me this:
I still hate those words (and others). If anyone catches me using them, that person should take me to the hospital as I’ve clearly had a stroke.
Ken recently told me that he never closes with “Best” in an email because of me. What’s my problem with “Best?” It can be used as an adjective or an adverb, but it has to modify something. So I always think to myself, “Best what? Best regards? Best wishes? Best in show?”
So thank you for taking my classes and letting me mold you into critical duplicates.
And keep sending me little anecdotes of my permeating influence (or put them in the comments below). It fills me with glee.
Best in show,
Dr. Beth
*”We don’t need no education,” interestingly enough, is a double negative. So what Pink Floyd actually said was that we need education. So Pink Floyd was right.
Posted in Politics, tagged Facebook, Food, Friends, Government, Media, Peeves, Politicians, Politics, White people, Writing on January 24, 2021| 9 Comments »
Dear People With Whom I Don’t Agree:
I appreciate you. I mean that sincerely. I keep you in my social media feeds so that I don’t fall into the echo chamber.
If you are an angry elf, I tend to scroll on by. But if you present an honest viewpoint with evidence, I pay attention.
For example, there is a blogger I follow who is an actress, speaker, author, pro-life Catholic conservative, and I am … not. Still, I read her posts because she has a strong voice, a firm handle on what she believes and why, and often posts yummy-sounding recipes.
She posts more political posts than I do, as she regularly relates her faith to current events. In her latest post, she wasn’t very happy about Biden winning, as her No. 1 voting motivation seems to be the abortion issue. Yet, she advocated patience and tolerance.
Huh.
That’s interesting because when I posted a comment, not only did she not respond, but she deleted it. (Or so it appeared on my end as it was there one moment and gone a few minutes later.)
My comment?
I appreciate your pro-life stance. We are all pro life, really. No one is psyched to get an abortion. It’s a last resort for so many. No one is “pro abortion.” I think we can agree: The goal is to reduce abortions. How do we do that? As we’ve seen with prohibition and the “war on drugs,” making them illegal won’t work. People will find a way, but it makes it very dangerous for women. So to me, the solution is to put more money into sex education, healthcare and contraception.
I’m passionately pro choice and pro life. These are not mutually exclusive. I am adopted, so obviously I’m thrilled my birth mother chose to have me.
But it’s her blog, and she can do what she wants.
My philosophy is to accept all comments (even if they are offensive) and like and/or respond to each.
As everyone knows, I love a good debate. My views don’t fit neatly into existing political parties’ platforms, so I do my research and vote for the individual rather than party affiliation.
No politician is going to be perfect. No human is perfect. And we can’t agree all the time. No need to be nasty about it.
A friend I’ve had for 30 years texted me to tell me she’s unfollowing me from Facebook. It wasn’t rude; it was matter of fact and funny to me because it was so strait forward.
She’s got loads going on in her life and doesn’t want to read anything political. I would say that day-to-day living IS political, but that’s not her POV as she has the luxury of not having to deal with some of the things many others do every day. But she does have to deal with other things, so I get it.
But writing and talking about things is how I make sense of the world. So I’m going to keep on reading and responding to others. It’s important to me especially if I don’t agree.
Keep up the good work!
Beth
Observe and report 