I’m so glad you were able to call me yesterday. It was the one present I wanted on Christmas, but didn’t think I’d get.
Hang on. There’s something in my eye.
OK.
I’ve sent three letters to you at Navy boot camp, and you had the nerve to tell Gideon on the call that you really wanted letters from him and your dad.
“Not that I don’t love your letters, Mom,” you said.
Sure.
And yes, I’ll send plenty of pictures of Vince. That dog misses you, for sure.
I do too.
It’s crazy that so much has happened since I saw you for Thanksgiving.
I mean … so much. The Monday after Thanksgiving, you passed another PST, got your orders the following week, and shipped out about 10 days later.
To be a Navy SEAL is a difficult path, and few make it. You are stubborn, though, and will follow through if it is your idea and something you want.
“Do They Know It’s Christmas,” Band Aid. Nothing says Christmas like the “clanging chimes of doom.” Don’t listen to the lyrics. Just enjoy Boy George, Bono, George Michael, Sting and Simon Le Bon, among other ‘80s faves.
“You’re a Mean One,” Thurl Ravenscroft. The Grinch is the OG of holiday crankiness. I love him, but I don’t identify with him until his heart grows three sizes.
I’m a fan of them, in general, but they are not suited for the rental market for two main reasons:
Miles possible on a charge.
Availability of charging stations.
Time to charge.
Ok, so let’s discuss No. 1. I was told at the JFK rental counter that the Chevy Volt that was forced on me** would get 250 miles per charge.
Perhaps that’s true if the owner takes care of the car. But this Volt was a rental. I was told it was fully charged when the rental fellow turned over the keys.
It didn’t look charged to me:
It looks like it has just over half a charge, but what do I know?
So I went on my way to visit my father on Long Island.
That brings us to No. 2. Random charging stations are available here and there, but there are only a few plugs at a time. With more and more people driving electric vehicles, sometimes there is a wait to charge. There’s also the No. 3 issue. I’ll get to that in a moment.
I found a charging station six miles from my father’s house. It was in a parking lot near a fire station. Luckily, he was able to go with me to set the car on charge, then we drove around and had lunch.
What if that hadn’t been an option?
And here’s the biggest problem: Time to charge (No. 3).
We left the car charging for 2.5 hours. And that wasn’t enough to get it fully charged from a 65-mile drive.
2.5 HOURS!
I had to find another charging station on the way back. (Why? To avoid the $60 fee for bringing it back on less than 100 percent charged. Seems like you REALLY like that dollar figure.)
This time, I managed to find a fast-charge place by a mall. There were five charging units, but only three were working. I had to wait to get one.
I plugged in the car, and waited. Tethered like a teenager to TikTok.
The charging unit said one hour to 80 percent charge. The Volt said 34 minutes to full charge.
Can you guess the Volt’s problem?
My guess is battery health.
It’s not like these cars are cheaper or cooler to drive. And you still have to pay for charging, so there’s no major saving over gas.
Home use is a great idea. I borrowed my friend Marlane’s Kia EV over Thanksgiving, and it was fantastic. I set it on charge in the garage overnight once it got low.
But for a rental? No thanks. Bad idea.
If you won’t take my advice, please just make a note in my file that I never want to rent one again.
**I got the manager’s special rate with the best available car. The Volt is what was offered. I asked (read: begged) for a regular car. No, ma’am, unless I wanted to pay $60 extra.
Classes are over, though, and I earned my certificate. I knew I’d be fine in the Commercial Pyrotechnics course because I did well in the Stage Pyrotechnics and Special Effects course.
Demolition? Not so much.
At one point, I thought I was going to fail.
Not only did I not fail, I earned an A in the course — due in large part to the final project, which was a group project to create a bid to demolish the St. Louis Arch.
Three twentysomething engineering students and me. We spent weeks working on this project via email, Zoom and group chat. (Our group name: Arch Nemesis, Inc. — yuk, yuk.)
I needed a nearly perfect score to get an A. I had come to terms with getting a B. Then we presented our work. The professor had nothing but good things to say about our bid presentation.
Y’all. He gave us extra credit.
I am so proud of us. I’m proud of myself.
Maybe you can hire me for your next explosive event. Or not. I think I’m done with this chapter of my life.
Now that this semester is over, I may get back to writing regularly.
Observe and report 