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Support the troops. Here’s why.

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , on February 19, 2010| 8 Comments »

This post has nothing to do with chickens, grammar, superheroes, or any of my usual topics. I won’t even talk about my dissertation proposal defense right now. All that stuff pales in comparison to this:

http://www.fotoglif.com/f/3ec1v4zmvtfh

Searching an empty house Feb. 18 in Marja, Afghanistan

The Marine on the right is my nephew, Lt. Mark Greenlief (my husband’s brother’s daughter’s husband, if you can follow the dancing apostrophes). He is executive officer of Bravo Company, part of the 1st Battalion of the 6th Marine Regiment.

Mark and his troops are dealing with a new edict in the war in Afghanistan: no airstrikes unless troops are about to be overrun, or they can prove that there are no civilians around. The reason for the edict is that the Afghan people were starting to withdraw support for the fight against the Taliban because of the civilian casualties. For more information, read this article.

Fine. But that is scary shit (if I can be so crass) for the Marines who are on the front lines.

I don’t care who you voted for or what your political leanings are; there are good people laying their lives on the line because some elected officials told them they had to. No, they didn’t have to join in the first place, but they did because they thought it was the right thing for them to do. And we should be thankful for what they are doing, regardless if we think they should be there in the first place.

Thank you, Mark, and everyone in the armed forces.

Thanks also to the families they left behind. How would you like to have one toddler and be seven months pregnant with the second son, and your husband is off in a sandbox being shot at for who knows how long for people who don’t even seem to know or care about the war? That’s my niece’s life in Camp Lejeune — far away from all her family and his. She’s got her act together enough to manage this Facebook group, which is pretty impressive.

Thank you, Nina, and all the families of the troops.

If all that doesn’t give you a knot in your stomach, then I don’t know what will.

Semper Fi.

Photo credit: http://www.fotoglif.com/f/3ec1v4zmvtfh

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My husband made me do it

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , , on January 22, 2010| 6 Comments »

In 2005, when SCAD was considering offering a writing major, I thought to myself, “Self, it would be great to teach in that department.” Though I had oodles of work experience, I knew that SCAD’s accrediting body prefers terminal degrees in the field of instruction. So I had two choices: Get another M.F.A. (the one I have is in performing arts) or get a Ph.D. I chose the latter.

I had three criteria in mind as I researched programs: areas of study offered (journalism or communications), proximity and reputation. The one that fulfilled all these requirements was University of South Carolina.

Eddie badgered me to apply. “But that would require taking the GRE!” I whined. “And I’m pregnant!”

“So?” he said, with very little compassion, I might add.

Lest you think he is heartless, his philosophy was that I might as well get on it while the kids were very young. That way I would be done when they got old enough to start extracurricular activities that I wouldn’t want to miss.

I knew he was right. I forced myself to take the GRE and apply to the doctoral program in the USC School of Journalism and Mass Communications. I was accepted, and began coursework Fall 2006. The total courses involved for most folks: 16 (48 semester hours). For me: 18 (because my master’s is not in the specific area).

I finished the coursework in April 2009. I spent the summer procrastinating on my dissertation proposal, and dreading the comprehensive exams (four days, three hours a day of answering questions in four areas: theory, methods, ethics and rhetoric, which is my outside area). I passed the foreign language proficiency test in October (see related post). The comps dread continued.

The time came, though, for me to put up or shut up. I studied my haunches off in preparation for the comps, which I stupidly scheduled for the week after Thanksgiving. The 19 people in my house for the holiday might not have fully understood why I was so stressed out.

Along with the written comps, there is an oral defense. That happened today. After my committee slowly roasted me over an open fire for two hours, they decreed that I had passed. To be honest, the first 20 minutes were horrendous, but then the rest was fine. The discussion will help me hone my dissertation proposal, for sure.

And that is the next step. I defend said proposal in front of my committee Feb. 19. Once I pass (the power of positive thinking), I will work exclusively on my own research for my dissertation. Then I will have to defend my dissertation in front of the same committee. Thumbs up, and my hooding awaits. Thumbs down, and … well, that’s really not an option for me.

So if I look a little frazzled in February (and over the summer), you’ll know why.

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Part V: Happily ever after

Posted in Random, tagged , , , on January 20, 2010| 6 Comments »

… crickets … crickets … crickets …

Yes, I know the silence here has been deafening. I’ve got a good excuse: dissertation proposal. That is the cause of the many gray hairs I’ve found over the past few days. Seriously. My doctoral work is causing gray hair.

But back to the story.

SHE SAID:

Eddie and I officially started dating Sept. 27, 1994. Three months later, on Dec. 31, 1994, Eddie and I and our two friends, Alex and Brenon, headed to City Market to ring in the new year with a dropping peach and dropping drunks.

A few minutes to midnight, Alex and Brenon cleared a little spot in the melee and Eddie dropped to one knee and proposed. I was a little stunned, and was uncharacteristically quiet. Eddie said, “You have just a couple of minutes to say yes!” I did, of course.

HE SAID:

I thought she was going to begin another waiting game! Beth is never one to be short on words, but this day she did not say much. Dare I say, she was speechless.

SHE SAID:

While our families thought it was very sudden, our friends were not surprised at all and just wondered why it took so long. (Heidi, I’m talking about you.)

HE SAID:

Yeah, her friends were all on my side.

SHE SAID:

We got married in Forsyth Park Sept. 9, 1995. We deliberately chose an easy date to remember (9.9.95) because neither of us is good with remembering dates. This is why I have a journal.

HE SAID:

I loved having a rainbow wedding party.  All those guys have remained good friends through all these years. I can remember hugging Dad (Beth’s Dad) and we both had tears. I said, “I’ve always wanted a Dad.” He said, “I always wanted a son.” Dad has really been the dad I never had. He is an awesome person.

SHE SAID:

Ten years and many adventures later, we added Dominic to our family, followed by Gideon.

HE SAID:

It’s crazy how little things — such as writing about  how you met — can make you think about how great your partner is. This has been fun, and I can’t come close to telling everyone how Beth has changed my life. She took a character like me and made me a much better person. Now she gave me two awesome boys, and I can’t get enough of them. She is a great mom, which is number one on the list of her many great traits.

SHE SAID:

Our life together so far has been pretty great. And that’s an understatement.

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Part IV: The jig is up

Posted in Random, tagged , , on January 13, 2010| 1 Comment »

SHE SAID

During my six-month sentence, I dated a cowboy, a lawyer, an air conditioning repairman, a Hunter Army Air Field pilot, a hotel owner, two photographers and a police officer. There may have been others. (Lest you think I was ‘ho-ing it up, these were not those kind of dates.) I just went out with whoever asked. If it wasn’t fun, we didn’t go out again. It was kind of nice to be free.

It was also unfulfilling. After a night line-dancing at Stetson’s, a country bar (yes, bring on the jokes), I wrote this line in my journal: “Sometimes boys are just so yucky.”

HE SAID

I will make some comments later about some of these lads. Much to their dismay, we meet later on.

SHE SAID

The revelation finally came at a ZZ Top concert Sept. 27, 1994. I was there with the air conditioning repairman. I thought to myself, “Self, I would rather be at the dump with Eddie than here with this dude.” The repairman and I left, immediately had the “It’s not you; it’s me” talk, and then I dialed the hotline to Eddie. And that was that.

HE SAID

When Beth flashed the bat signal, I remember thinking “It’s about damn time!” However, I said “I’ll be right over.”

Beth and I did many fun things, even line dance (I got skills, yo!), once we got together. Bowling was one of those things (she is way better than I am). It just so happens that this was one of AC Man’s favorite hangouts. I did not call him AC Man, though. I called him Lat Man. “Why?” you may ask. This guy postured around the bowling alley as if he could not possibly put his arms to his sides. But it is hard to parade around when you’re only as tall as the person’s chest. He never made any moves toward Beth while I was there, so everything was cool. The kid was a good bowler, though.

I did not like the police officer at all. He was a slime ball. I think he knew I did not like him ’cause Beth and I went dancing one day and ended up at the  same place that he was. He skedaddled. He seemed like the kind of guy who liked to say he was a cop so that he could get the girls.

SHE SAID

But none of them mattered anymore. Three months later, we were engaged.

Up next: Happily ever after

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Part III: This is getting ridiculous

Posted in Random, tagged , , on January 11, 2010| 3 Comments »

When last we saw Beth and Eddie, Eddie had asked for permission from the president of the college to date Beth. Beth had said she would go out with him if he got permission. He did, and she didn’t.

SHE SAID

Yes, it was stupid. I know. I could have saved myself plenty of angst. The relationship with the reporter continued its death spiral until April 1994. He had moved out of town by this point and I was thinking of joining him. I even found a job. At the very last moment possible, the small voice of reason inside finally broke free (think Jojo’s “yop” from “Horton Hears a Who”). I backed out of the job, and the “relationship,” such as it was, dissolved.

This is where Beth gets her groove back, thanks to Eddie.

I switched from PR at SCAD to reporting at a local television station. Like a true multitasker, I also started doing weather on Sundays, and serving as a DJ for the country station connected to the TV station. Free concert tickets — woohoo! I hadn’t previously been a country music fan, but that all changed during my tenure as K.C. Quinn. (I couldn’t use my real name, of course, because I was a reporter and that would be weird. I wanted to be called Moonpie Jones, but they wouldn’t let me.)

After the breakup, I quickly took up with another reporter in town, but was considering other options.

HE SAID

I am not sure, but I think she is talking here about the man with the concaved chest I referred to as “Stick Figure.”

SHE SAID

I had a chance to go to the Sawyer Brown/Tim McGraw/Diamond Rio concert, and I decided to take Eddie. We had begun chatting quite regularly at this point, but it was all strictly platonic.

HE SAID

I couldn’t believe she finally called me to ask for a date. “A country concert? I’m sure I’ll find lots of lively Puerto Ricans there,” I thought. But undeterred, I saw my chance and took it. I’d never been to a country concert. Sawyer who? Wasn’t he in a book? But it was Beth, so I went. I like all kinds of music, and I did have a good time.

SHE SAID

It was this night that Eddie informed me that I should lay off the dudes for six months, just date casually, and figure out what I really wanted. Bold, no?

HE SAID

It was all part of my master plan. The friend in me wanted her to stop trying to date people seriously for a while. The guy in me wanted her to continue her behavior and date me next. But she was never going to be happy until she figured out what she really wanted. And I was hoping it was me. You know, that whole “letting the bird go” thing.

SHE SAID

After the concert, I drove him home. If you are wondering why he never drove, it is because he had a craptastic Civic that barely fit one person, and it was always broken down. Sexy.

HE SAID

That’s why I walked a lot.

SHE SAID

In the parking lot of his apartment, we had our first kiss.

HE SAID

The kiss was very nice.

SHE SAID

But it was very short and sweet. He broke it off, and I said, “That’s it? I waited years for that?”

He said, “You played hard to get, and now it is my turn.”

I was hooked.

But I did what he said. For once.

Up next: The jig is up

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Part II: The pursuit begins

Posted in Random, tagged , on January 9, 2010| 6 Comments »

SHE SAID

While I remember the box incident clearly, I don’t remember anything else specifically about Eddie for a little while. I had a lot going on.

My three-year relationship with my college boyfriend was tanking because of the four-hour distance between Savannah and Atlanta. Well, that and because I was beginning a dalliance with a particular television reporter in Savannah. The boyfriend and I parted ways (relatively amicably, I thought, yet apparently not as he refuses to be my Facebook friend). Serial monogamist that I was, I started seriously dating the reporter.

HE SAID

I remember this boyfriend; he seemed very “Oh well! Que sera, sera.” I met this little guy, and I like him. It’s a bit sad he doesn’t want to be friends with Beth. If we went our separate ways, I would always want to be friends with Beth. If you can understand her, she is a great and loyal friend. She continues to be friends with people — yes, even guys — who I don’t think are worthy of her friendship. So he is making a bad choice.

SHE SAID

Eddie first appears in my journal in the Sept. 4, 1992, entry. I went to Malone’s (now Wild Wing Café) with my best girl friend and her friend, and ran into Eddie: “We told each other our life stories and then I drove him home.”

I wish I could go back in time and slap around the person I was. The reporter and I should have dated for about a month, but the soap opera dragged on for well over a year. It seems so clear now that I had no business being with someone about whom I wrote journal entries such as “We were arguing in line at Dumbo” and “The evening turned sour when I realized how unwilling he is to do the things I think are fun.”

HE SAID

I remember said evening at Malone’s. I also remember thinking, “Aaaw shiiit — she can dance too!” And I remember the reporter dude. I knew right away he really didn’t care that much about her. So I really didn’t care if he saw me talking to his girl. He cared more about going golfing than spending the day with his girlfriend. Fine with me! And thank you, kind sir! Don’t mind if I do step right on in here and steal your girlfriend.

I assure you my friends, if a man tried the things I tried in front of my face, there would be consequences.

SHE SAID

Anyway, there was a point where I was almost smart enough to ditch the reporter. Back to the journal, Jan. 10, 1993: “I went to the SCAD/Millsaps basketball game … at the game, Eddie asked me out again. He looked quite alluring, but I resisted.” And here’s one from Jan. 19, 1993: “Eddie is becoming increasingly hard to resist.” Apparently, he said to me on that day, “Let’s get married.”

Part of my resistance to Eddie had to do with the fact that he was a full-time student at SCAD in addition to being a full-time employee. Faculty and staff were/are prohibited from fraternizing with students, and I tend to be a stickler for the rules.

On Feb. 17, 1993, I wrote, “I can’t stop thinking about Eddie now. He came by today and said he was going to get permission from Richard (Rowan, the SCAD president at the time) to date me. If he does, I will.”

Well, he did, and I didn’t. Even after a permission-conveying phone call from my boss, the (amused) executive vice president, it took another 14 months for us to go on our first official date.

HE SAID

Readers, readers, readers — fear not! I  am a persistent man. Yes, I could have said “Well, later for you then, girl” but I knew she was special. If a woman can be that loyal to guys who treat her like crap, imagine what she’ll do for a man who thinks she’s great!

Up next: The first date

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Part I: When Beth met Eddie

Posted in Random, tagged , , on January 8, 2010| 6 Comments »

SHE SAID:

It was a dark and stormy night.

OK, not really.

It was a beautiful sunny day in Savannah in March 1992. I had started a new job as communications coordinator at SCAD, and my office was on the third floor of Kanter Hall (now Morris Hall).

My predecessor was a pack rat, and I wanted to make a clean start. I loaded up two boxes with old files and put in a work order to have a member of the facilities crew move them to storage in Wallin Hall.

A couple of days later, a posse of guys in weight belts filed into my office looking for the boxes listed on the work order.

Smart ass that I am, I said, “It takes all of you to move two boxes?”

HE SAID

“The message we got was to pick up boxes. It could have been 100.”

She was very nicely dressed in a skirt, I remember. Nothing more attractive than a nicely dressed smart mouth. James G. still calls her “swift mouth.” I was in charge of the facilities crew that included James G., Brenon, Eggy, Patrick, Brian, Rambo, Joseph, Joel, James R. and Jimbo.

Here is some of the crew: James, Brenon, me, Patrick, Jimbo and Joel. Those were the days of James’ jheri curl. What can I say about the grease? Notice Pat’s weight belt. He was so skinny, I can’t believe we even found one to fit him.

Here is a later picture of the crew, circa 1993 or so.

Me, Joel, Jimbo, Wolverine, Brenon, Rambo, Bear, James, Alex, Brian, Patrick and Joel.

SHE SAID

I think he brought all those guys with him that day. I remember he led the way, followed closely by James and Joseph. He and James are both tall fellows, well over 6 feet. I felt dwarfed, plus silly that they were all there for just two boxes. They took the boxes and left, but it would not be the last time I saw the Weight Belt Brigade.

Up next: The pursuit begins

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Top 10 recent quotes

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , on January 5, 2010| 5 Comments »

Two readers (!) asked for the story of how Eddie and I met. I will get to that later this week. Today, though, I want to list 10 of the things I have said this week that I never thought, never planned and never wanted to say:

1. Get your Wolverine claws off the coffee table.

2. Pick your Wolverine claw off of the floor.

3. Stop harassing the dog.

4. Leave your wiener alone.

5. Did you wipe your butt?

6. Stop messing with each other.

7. Get off the back of the couch.

8. No one is going to be killing anybody.

9. No, the chicken cannot come inside the house.

10. Because I said so. (That’s the worst one of all.)

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A night to remember (maybe)

Posted in Random, tagged , , , on January 4, 2010| Leave a Comment »

It’s an odd evening in our house. Eddie is trying to learn some new moves for the kickboxing class he is teaching tomorrow. He hasn’t taught it in a while because of his shoulder surgery. And, of course, the kids can’t stand someone doing anything without them. So this is the scene:

Gideon is actually pretty good at getting the moves. Dominic just wants to play.

Anyway, the really odd aspect is that Eddie had a hard time getting some of the moves because they run contrary to his training as an actual boxer. So I had to help.

Shocking, I know.

Especially considering that I shun exercise (obviously). And the fact that I was incapable of learning drill team or cheerleading moves well enough to be chosen for the squads in high school. But I did learn the heck out of some ice skating choreography. Everyone has some latent ability somewhere, I guess.

Now I think I need to ice my quads.

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The non-resolutions

Posted in Random, tagged , , on December 31, 2009| 1 Comment »

I resolve not to make any New Year’s resolutions. If you are going to do something, you should just do it and not wait for a particular date. That’s why I loathe Valentine’s Day. Shouldn’t you love someone all year, instead of just one particular day? (Eddie must love this point of view; it keeps him off the Hallmark treadmill.)

That being said, 1.1.10 seems like a very good date to begin projects I’ve been putting off, such as organizing photos, my home office, the checkbook, etc. I also plan to de-lard my haunches. Not all crazy-like, just some trimming of the padding I put on with Trish the Human on the dock this summer.

I’m looking forward to 2010. Except for my new job, fantastic students and boss, and some fun times with Eddie, the kids and our friends, 2009 sucked ass. Deaths and health problems galore. We’re ending the year dealing with hateful, trash-talking relatives. SIGH.

So, welcome to you, 2010. I’m resolved and ready!

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