I’ve only been glued to the news five times in the past 20 years:
Sept. 11, 2001 (Al-Qaeda attacks)
Aug. 29, 2005 (Hurricane Katrina)
Nov. 1, 2016 (Clinton vs. Trump)
Nov. 3, 2020 (Biden vs. Trump)
Jan. 6, 2021 (Capitol riot)
Here are five things that struck me from No. 5:
Shocking lack of police presence. At the BLM protests this summer, you couldn’t swing a cat without hitting someone in law enforcement. Meanwhile, at the Capitol, folks were just waltzing around taking selfies with the one police officer who seemed to be inside. True story.
Rioters escorted out without being arrested. Again, this is very different from some of the BLM protests where people NOT BEING VIOLENT IN ANY WAY were arrested. Even new Georgia Senator Raphael Warnock was arrested inside the Capitol in 2017 for praying. FOR PRAYING. But breaking windows and walking around with a lectern? Go right ahead.
How the riot has divided Republicans. I have a number of friends who are relatively sane conservatives. They and I want the same things but have different ideas on policies and processes we need to get there. Then there are Trumpers. Guess which ones LOVED the insurrection. It should come as no surprise that the fellow who punched me in the stomach in sixth grade is part of the latter group. Why are we “friends” on Facebook? Good question.
Who wants to tell my sixth-grade bully that there is a big difference between yelling at someone on an elevator and STORMING THE CAPITOL AND DAMAGING PROPERTY? Also, the dude was arrested, so yes he is wrong.
It’s really not funny, though. People died. An important Federal building was trashed. National security was compromised.
As Americans, we have the right to have a peaceful Airing of Grievances on days other than Festivus. We do not have the right to destroy things and hurt/kill people. Those who do that need to experience consequences of their actions besides just being fired. Ten years for damaging government property (ironically, a Trump executive order) is a good place to start.
These folks couldn’t even wear masks while COMMITTING CRIMES. I hope they won’t be surprised when they get the ‘Rona. And you know they will.
Dear Readers, You all know how I love a good guest post. Well, my friend Revell — you know, my taxidermy partner in crime — wrote a doozy. Here is his end-of-year rant that he is permitting me to share. He echoes many of my same sentiments and is nothing if not authentic (edited slightly for format and references that might get him into trouble). You might agree with him, you might not, but it is a wild ride full of the F word (be warned). Enjoy! Beth
Just a Yearly Update By Revell
2020 … What the actual fuck? What even happened this year besides complete. Utter. CHAOS???
I don’t think I have ever been tested and pushed to this extent in my entire life, and I don’t doubt for a second the same for you! This may have been the most growth I’ve ever had in a single year or maybe as a human being in general.
This pandemic has had me question every aspect of my journey. Here’s a few key points I learned:
Hold on to your loved ones, celebrate life, and don’t EVER think twice about being 100 percent authentically YOU.
Don’t underestimate your personal power and know that WE REALLY ARE stronger in numbers.
Speak up for what’s right, call people out on their bullshit, keep friends close who also call you out on your bullshit, be held accountable, and don’t ever stop pushing to be a better person.
Being fired does not mean you were in the wrong or that you didn’t kill it at your job.
You can be in love with more than one person.
Mental health is real and you are not crazy.
Georgia is fucking BLUE!
Know your self worth, and don’t let people or corporations take advantage of you.
No matter how cute and adorable, small powdery moths are not your friends and will potentially eat everything you own.
Do not trust Nanna without a mask.
Love your family unconditionally, especially when they make it through COVID alive! FUCK — when YOU make it through COVID alive!
Dental care is still wayyyyyy too fucking expensive, and even when you try to be proactive about self care and the insurance money you paid into, you STILL get fucked! Well, unless it’s your cat and every tooth needs to be pulled at the most inconvenient time possible. So yeah! FUCKED!
Give yourself opportunities to grow and make yourself uncomfortable.
When someone laughs at your dreams or ideas and tells you they are not possible, just prove them wrong.
Peanut butter and Ramen noodles will keep you alive in a pandemic.
Credit Karma is an app and also part of being an adult now.
White men are still the worst! Especially fuckin’ Boomers.
Bernie’s campaign was smeared by the Democratic Party … AGAIN!
This country was founded on slavery, and if you’re not jaded, you’re obviously. NOT. listening. Fuck a confederate monument.
Socialism means all we want is healthcare … in … a … pandemic! Weird right?
I’m a queer, loud, unapologetic abolitionist with no regrets!
Well, one regret: that antique mirror at that one estate sale I decided not to buy on my credit card with money I didn’t have. Def a regret!
Fuck fascists, centrists and the “American dream.”
Trans women ARE real women!
When you’re starving in pandemic, just EAT THE FUCKIN’ RICH!
Harry Potter is fucking canceled, and J.K. Rowling ruined my childhood! What a TERF!
Still bitter about Taco Bell not selling potatoes.
And who knew that Paris Hilton’s vote-or-die campaign had such relevance now in 2020. The reality is vote, or FUCKING DIE!
I hope you are better than 2020. (2020 can suck it.)
I’m not one for resolutions. I usually declare things I won’t do or won’t give up. Just to be contrary. (Look. Listen. Give me this one rebellious thing. That’s about the only one!)
Put up with less than I need/deserve/worked for, etc. I am not a “Welcome!” mat. Mixed progress: I occasionally washed other people’s dishes and clothes, but I got better about calmly explaining what was bothering me.
Save money. Yeah, I know I should, but let’s be honest: I won’t. Success: I didn’t.
Stay home. I want to say “absof–kinlutely” to adventures near and far. Dream scenario: I get paid to write about it. Fail: I think we all know what happened this year.
Continue procrastinating on my book. This is the year I finish it, write the proposal, and find an agent. If E.L. James can become rich and famous off her trashTwilight fan fictionwork, so can I. Fail: I did absolutely no work on it. Lack of motivation, thy name is COVID-19.
Lose more than just five more pounds. I’m calling that my “wine cushion.” Success: I found a few pounds more of me. Pandemic pounds FTW!
Stay in this place with the small kitchen. When it’s a pain to make things as fairly easy as Scotch eggs, it’s time to upgrade. Success: We moved to a larger place with a slightly larger kitchen.
Ignore show suggestions from certain like-minded people. I resisted watching “Killing Eve.” I was stupid. Success: I’m even taking suggestions from randos on Twitter. I’ve got some issues with “Bridgerton.” Who wants to chat about it with me?
Let people try to make me feel even slightly embarrassed about my love of bad taxidermy. Those uptight people can shove it. My obsession is Hando approved. Success: I let my freak flag fly this year to positive results.
Vote for Trump. Duh. Success: Duh.
Stop writing blog posts at least twice a week. I’ve been keeping this pace since April, so I’m pretty proud of myself. Success-ish: I was doing well until the holidays. I blame Netflix.
In 2021, I will not:
Take for granted the ability to hug friends, see a movie in a theater, see live music, eat in a restaurant, travel, go out without a mask, work out at the gym, etc.
Take for granted physical mobility. (This was the year I broke my ankle and damaged my rotator cuff. So that’s been fun.)
Lament a packed schedule of in-person meetings.
Ever get off political mailing lists, apparently.
Be able to wear real shoes again without dealing with discomfort. (I wore flip flops for six months straight.)
Any other year, this SNL sketch really would have resonated with me.
But this year is different. All my whiningbitchingcomplaininggentle nudging finally paid off.
Eddie and the boys did something great for Mother’s Day AND my birthday.
Not only did I get a balloon and presents to open (this is a big deal), but Eddie also apparently was paying attention when I said this to Gideon:
When you get further along in your guitar lessons, I’ll start playing drums again. We’ll start a band.
Eddie got me a drum kit for my birthday.
He didn’t really knew how to set it up, but BY GOD HE TRIED!
😳
It’s great, but we live in an apartment. His rationale was that if the leaf blower guy can do his thing every day, so can I.
Yeah, no.
Now I am looking for studio space.
Still, it’s a thoughtful, fun gift. Hella impractical, but appreciated.
This year, I feel certain my family will come through for me on good Christmas gifts. So I’m going to ask for more altruistic things:
COVID vaccines for normal people. (Certainly not for asshat politicians who spent months denying COVID, organizing super-spreader events and not wearing masks.)
On this day many years ago (we do NOT need to say just how many), you made a difficult decision. It was the right one for both of us.
Thank you for facilitating my exit from your life then inviting me back in this year.
It was a long time coming, right? I felt weird about searching for you while my adoptive parents were still alive, but I thought about you regularly. I often wondered if I ever passed you on the street.
Thanks to Ancestry.com, I connected with Cousin Laura, and she led me to you.
It may have taken a while, but once we finally talked, it was great — easy conversation from that first call.
And when I finally met you over Memorial Day weekend? Well. Let’s just say that so many things finally made sense. Dislike of raw onions? Love of cooking? Obsession with rocks and shells?
The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. In fact, it’s practically still on the tree.
Meeting my half siblings Kara and Lodell was so cool and illuminating. We were quoting movies within the first 10 minutes. Same sense of humor.
It felt like a missing puzzle piece clicked into place.
And that night playing Taboo with you, them and some of their kids? I looked around and realized that, for the first time in my life, I was blood related to everyone there.
That was a big moment.
When we got everyone together for Labor Day, it was overwhelming in a good way. Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews — all with the same open nature, genuine warmth and dry sense of humor.
And the boys love having “New Grandma.” Gideon told his friend the other day about this exchange:
You, telling me about the hotel room you booked for us: I took care of the first night.
Me, in a joking way: I said no!
You: But I said yes, and I’m your mother.
They thought that was great. I did too.
I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you this year. It’s one of the few good things that happened in 2020. My heart is full.
And I look forward to spending more time with you when the world gets back to normal.
Happy holidays. And thank you for making a difficult decision. It was the best birthday gift: my birth.
My mother said she prayed to you that I would have a child just like me. I recognized that as a threat by an aggravated woman.
You delivered.
But I think you went too far.
I had common sense, at least.
Dominic does not have common sense.
Here’s why I know this to be true:
1. The exchange below. Context: I set up a new Google Voice number for students in my class to use. I asked the family to test it.
2. The fact that he came into my bedroom at 9:30 Thursday night holding a package of turkey bacon without the packaging. That’s right: 10 or so strips of bacon in his bare hands.
Him: I opened the refrigerator, and this fell out onto the floor.
Me, stunned: Well, don’t bring it naked and dripping INTO MY BEDROOM!
I wish I had taken a photo. I was too revolted at him turkey touching everything to think about that.
He does make up for it by making me laugh with things like this:
And remember our Rock City visit? This is how he ruined an artsy shot I was trying to take:
Yes, that’s his shoe. 🙄
This kid.
So thanks, I guess, for giving me Dominic in all his glory.
I will not be surprised AT ALL when you get the ‘Rona. You took no precautions. I was, quite frankly, horrified.
Yes, we visited too, but we took ample precautions:
We stayed in our four-person bubble.
We stayed at a reputable hotel.
We wore masks everywhere but the hotel room and the car.
We washed our hands and sanitized ourselves regularly.
You, however, did NOT do all of those things.
Example 1: Dinner Friday night
After we went to see a movie (yes, in a theater for the first time since February*), we went to Big River Grille for our reservation. We ran a gauntlet featuring about 15 unmasked people around the door.
Then the hostess tried to sit us in a booth next to another group. My back would have been six inches from some stranger’s back.
NO, THANK YOU.
See Rock City’s sanitizing stations.
Example 2: Ruby Falls on Sunday
There were about a thousand signs saying Ruby Falls is a TOUCH-FREE CAVE. Not only is it bad for the stalagmites and stalactites (oils from human hands keep the formations from growing) but CORONAVIRUS, HELLO!
Our very-loud guide must have said “no touching” 437 times. Every single time, a guy in the group in front of us could not help himself. He touched EVERYTHING.
Though this year has sucked in ways large and small, I’m thankful for all of you. I have big emotions regarding a few of you, but I’ll save that for a later post.
On this day of Thanksgiving (glossing over the actual horrific origins of this celebration), I’m thankful for small things (in no particular order):
I get it: You aren’t a fan of online learning. As I told one of your teachers this week: You are not thriving in the remote environment (to put it mildly).
But you do actually have to do the work until there is an alternative.
Part of your problem is your lack of time-management skills and your habit of prioritizing things like watching “The Mandalorian” over getting your work done.
Do you really want to repeat 10th grade? You’d end up going to school with your brother.
I KNOW you don’t want that. So pull yourself together.
