Dear Alien Life Forms:
Apparently, you like the scenery of the Pacific Northwest as much as residents and tourists do.
In fact, there’s a whole festival celebrating a famous visit you made in 1950.
I took my human form up to town to investigate.
Because of course I did.
You may not know this, but weird festivals are kind of my jam.
Anyway, I saw plenty while waiting for the parade to start.
Things I never thought I’d hear:
“Watch out! Don’t hit people with your alien!” — a mom to her kid waving around an inflatable creature
“I don’t like aliens. They’re scary.” — an inflatable-free kid
Then it was time for the parade. I will tell you that I don’t much like parades. I was scarred for life by the boring St. Patrick’s Day parade in Savannah, which consists of politicians riding in convertibles and Irish families walking in a pack waving flags.
No thank you.
The last time I was at a parade, I came home with COVID.
But this was my first year at your celebration, so I gave it a go.
Here are the highlights:
Afterward, it was time for lunch.
Then I went home to hang out with my own personal alien.
I have no idea what you real extraterrestrial beings think about all this. We must seem very primitive. There’s plenty of evidence for that.
I hope you are amused.
Now could you give me my condo keys back?
Thanks and Nanu Nanu,
Beth
*Yeah, those guys.
Observe and report 