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Posts Tagged ‘Bright ideas’

Twitter: Language’s Wild Wild West

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , , , , , , , on April 30, 2010| 3 Comments »

Shane Marshall Brown, He Who Has Three Names, sent to me a link to a New York Times article about self-appointed Twitter scolds. I love it.

Even though I usually give people a pass for Facebook and Twitter, I’m happy to see others carrying the torch for proper grammar and punctuation.

I wonder if they noticed the Deen Brothers’ tweet with the incorrect apostrophe:

Meanwhile, I’m still busy with loathsome words such as “partner.” Here it is, offending me from behind a glass enclosure at Memorial Health University Medical Center.

Why can’t they just join Memorial? Or be listed as co-sponsors? Or just have the logos without text? Sigh.

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Mona: Lease up

Posted in Chickens, tagged , , , , , on April 29, 2010| 3 Comments »

We didn’t need another dog. But it looks like we have one.

I think Eddie and I both knew when we took in Mona that she would end up staying. We made (half-hearted) attempts to find another home for her. We thought our friend Sarah’s mom might take her. But I’ll admit we didn’t push too hard.

Yesterday, I broke down and got her this:

That’s a big step. Pretty permanent. Kind of like a wedding ring. But how could we resist this face?

Or the fact that she looks like this when she chews her toys:

But I am worried about one thing: She is very interested in Shelly and Jeanne. Eddie built the coop next to the playroom window so we could check on the chickens easily (ie. see if there is an egg before we have to walk out there). (And yes, convenience equals laziness.)

Maggie the Murderer better not be giving her any ideas.

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Coop to fill

Posted in Chickens, tagged , , , , , , on April 27, 2010| 4 Comments »

Though it pained me to do it, I cleaned out Trish’s coop last weekend. (Sad.) Shelly and Jeanne had grown fast, and it was almost time for them to take over the coop.

I knew the time had come last night when I heard a commotion. My feathered friends had found their wings and were pretty darn excited about it. I wish I had a recording of their chirps.

This morning, they moved into the coop.

They seem pretty happy about it. It is a much bigger place, with no nosy, noisy neighbors. Shelly likes the yard, while Jeanne plans to become involved with the neighborhood association. She heard about the crime in the area, and wants to make sure she does all she can to keep the place safe.

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Screen saver

Posted in Random, tagged , , , on April 22, 2010| 3 Comments »

We are dogsitting this week, so that means our grand total of dogs is three. Those of you counting at home may say, “What? I thought ‘plus one’ would be four!”

Vince went to live with my father. Maggie and Vince had an extended stay at Grandma Dad’s because Eddie and I were traveling so much. Vince got along so well with my dad’s girlfriend’s dog “Li’l Bit” that it seemed like a good idea for him to stay. And it helps ease the pain from my dad having to put his dog Rufus to sleep yesterday.

RIP Rufus (1996-2010)

So that leaves Maggie, Mona and Jack, the visiting Cocker Spaniel. Mona also is supposed to be just visiting, but … well.

Maggie is on the naughty list, though. Here’s why:

We closed Maggie in our bedroom yesterday to keep her away from Jack. She must have spotted something in our backyard that needed her attention, so she just headed right out through the screen.

Handy Manny is not pleased

Luckily, we just happened to have some screen on hand, so Eddie fixed it quickly.

Eddie replaces the screen while Mona investigates

He’s really tired of fixing things around the house, though. I can’t blame him.

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Words I hate

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , , , , , on April 21, 2010| 25 Comments »

Some students in my classes have asked for a list of words I hate. Here are the ones that are always at the top:

Currently

If there is a verb in the sentence, then you don’t need that adverb. It is redundant.

Incorrect: Beth is currently a writing professor. “Is” means it is happening right now. “Currently” is overkill.

Correct: I can’t think of an occasion where you would need it.

Hopefully

This is one of the most misused words in the English language. People use it to mean “I hope.” If that is what you mean, then use, “I hope,” for Pete’s sake! It is an adverb, which means it needs to modify a verb.

Incorrect: Hopefully, the envelope contains a bonus check. How is the envelope behaving in a hopeful manner?

Correct: She looked hopefully at the envelope, convinced that it contained a bonus check.

Utilize

I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating: There is nothing wrong with the word “use.”

Incorrect: Utilize your knowledge of grammar to start a blog.

Correct: Use your knowledge of grammar to start a blog. See? “Use” is a perfectly good word.

Nauseous

People use this word to mean “I am sick to my stomach.” But what they should say is “nauseated” because that is what they are. If they are nauseous, then they cause nausea in others.

Incorrect: “I’m nauseous now,” said Eddie after riding The Flying Critter at the fair.

Correct: “The Flying Critter made me nauseated,” he said.

Partner

This is a noun, not a verb. Stop trying to “partner” with people, and just team up, join them or just combine completely in the sentence.

Incorrect: The SCAD writing department is partnering with the graduate studies department to present a lecture by Rebecca Skloot.

Correct: The writing and graduate studies departments are sponsoring the lecture.

There’s more, but this list has made me nauseated, and I need to lie down.

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Secrets of a Soccer Mom

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , on April 20, 2010| 4 Comments »

I’m about to take Gideon to soccer practice. I always feel like an elephant at the rhino watering hole when I go to soccer practice. I just don’t fit in.

But I do like to watch my kids having fun.

Trish the Human took this picture of Dominic in his first game. Notice the concentration.

Also notice something else. It’s on the left. What is this?

Does this woman not own a mirror? Make sure to look at the back view, people!

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Home improvement needs improvement

Posted in Random, tagged , , on April 14, 2010| 4 Comments »

Why are home improvement projects always so fraught with disaster?

Take our back door, for example. It was supposed to be a simple matter of replacing the old door because the bottom had rusted. But Lowe’s ordered the wrong size, something you don’t really know until you get it home. Maybe their slogan should be “Let’s Build Something Together, But We Won’t Really Help You At All. So Really,  You Should Build Something Alone.”

So Eddie placed it temporarily in the frame, and went to call Lowe’s to complain and reorder the right size. And this is what happened:

That’s $250 in shards.

Today, we had to get an electrician to come over to help us with our outdoor lighting. The geniuses hired by the previous owners had simply buried the electrical cable in a shallow grave. Lightning likes electrical wires. So that was the end of the outdoor lighting.

Eddie had to buy PVC pipe and new, thicker cable, and then dig up the back yard to bury the new cable. And he promptly hit an irrigation pipe.

And so the electrician is here. I’m looking through the back door, and I see plenty of frowning. There’s some pointing and gesturing. And now Eddie and the electrician are digging. That can’t be good.

Update: The electrician said, “Let there be light.” And there was. And it was good.

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New cast members

Posted in Chickens, tagged , , , , , , , on April 12, 2010| 6 Comments »

I hadn’t planned on it when I woke up, or even thought about it during most of the day. But at 4:30 this afternoon, I decided I needed to get new chickens.

Jeanne and Shelly are Araucanas (blue eggs!) and came from Economy Feed and Seed on Carolan Street. Originally, Shelly was going to be named “Patty,” as a nod to Patricia (otherwise known as Trish the Chicken’s namesake), and Gideon wanted the other to be named “Mike.” (Why? I don’t know.) But “Patty and Mike” just didn’t sound right. And naming one “Mike” would ensure we would end up with an unexpected rooster.

I named our previous chickens after live people, and they ended up dead. So this time, I named them after dead people in the hope that the chickens will stay alive. Shelly was Trish’s mom, and Jeanne was mine.

The boys and I are excited.Eddie has registered his concern and dismay. Noted. And obviously ignored. (Sorry, Sweetie!)

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Rocky Mountain high

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , on April 10, 2010| 3 Comments »

This was SCAD’s first year at the AWP conference, and it was a success. Dr. Lough (my department chair) and I talked to dozens of people about the SCAD program — many of whom did not even know we offered writing as a major. And we tried to ignore the rampant pretentiousness inherent in writing conferences (especially one filled with academics).

We even managed to fit in some sightseeing. He took me to Boulder, which is where he grew up. Here he is in his natural habitat:

Dr. James Lough, Boulder, Colorado

And here are the Flatirons (photo taken around the corner from his old house).

Flatirons, Boulder, Colorado

In Boulder, he showed me the house they used for the exterior of “Mork & Mindy.”

"Mork & Mindy" house

And — from whimsy to the grisly — the house where little JonBenét Ramsey was murdered.

Ramsey house

Today, a tour of Denver, complete with this gem:

"Non Hippy Bus," driver's side

The sign in the window in the photo below says “Non Hippy Bus.” For real.

"Non Hippy Bus," passenger's side

All of this was lovely, but I’m ready to go home. Here is what I missed:

Gideon and Dominic

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Concept vs. reality

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , on April 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »

It seems so idyllic: A mother helps her young children color eggs for Easter. And this is a happy-looking scene:

The reality is that this was one of the only peaceful moments. For 95 percent of the afternoon, it was a cacophony.

“Mama! He’s got my crayon!”

“I wanted the blue!”

“Get your egg out of there!”

“Stop slinging the dye!” (OK, that was me.)

And I also had to explain what the Easter Bunny has to do with Jesus. Like Christmas, Easter is a holiday of mixed messages: “Eat candy and think about Jesus.” Kids are right: It doesn’t make any sense. But as adults, we kind of go along with it.

I wasn’t going to give them Easter baskets because my kids don’t need candy. Don’t say, “Aww, that’s mean,” unless you know them. And if you know them, you wouldn’t say it. I caved and made small ones for them. Shortly after they hunted those slimy eggs and tore into the baskets, I regretted my decision. Their shrieks nearly made my ears bleed and their playroom looked like a Toys R Us had exploded.

I may have gone a little berserk. I may have smashed one of their toy guitars like I was Pete Townshend. I may not invite the Easter Bunny over again.

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