Dear Publix:
Thank you for employing three of my family members. I feel very fortunate that they have jobs during these weird, unprecedented times.
I feel especially fortunate that my two sons want jobs at their tender ages.
Look at Gideon during his first day on the job!
Here’s Dominic the Cart Wrangler.
Granted, they have my genes. I started working at age 15 and have been employed every day since. Eddie also is a hard worker.
My daily perusal of Reddit indicates that a strong work ethic is in decline.
Anyway, guess where I do all my grocery shopping.
Kroger.
Dominic was horrified when I picked him up yesterday with a car full of groceries from there.
Him: Mama, I ain’t about you disrespecting my employer.*
Me: When Publix stocks the coffee I like and sends me coupons, I’ll shop there.
Meanwhile, his newly employed bagger brother reluctantly went along with his mother, the bad influence. He did at least practice his skills at your competitor and judged the bagger there quite harshly.
If you want the loyalty of all four of us, take a page out of your competitor’s playbook.
For your convenience, here’s a link to my coffee of choice.
I believe you have all my home info. for the coupons.
Warm regards,
Beth
* This is apparently how teenagers talk nowadays.
Observe and report 