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Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

A T. Rex tale

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , on May 6, 2010| 4 Comments »

I love Thursdays because on Thursdays I get folders from my children’s teachers that have work from the past week. It is the day I read Dominic’s stories. And I laugh and laugh. I hope you will too.

“The Dinosaur Story” by Dominic

Once upon a time there was a T. Rex. Me and Gideon and my daddy and Mona were hunting for dinosaurs.* We saw a T. Rex. We ran because it was hungry to eat humans. Then we saw a Euoplocephalus. We petted it. We rode on the Euoplocephalus and its tail hit the T. Rex’s leg and it fell down. We said, “Are you going to be good, T. Rex?” He said, “Raa Raa!” We rode back home on the T. Rex and gave it meat.

Mona, the T. Rex and a tree that needs water

Yes, he used the word “Euoplocephalus,” and he knows what one looks like (although he did not draw it). It is clear he is my son, and fellow lover of words.

*Note: He informed me that this is just pretend because humans never lived with dinosaurs.

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Words I love

Posted in Grammar, etc., tagged , , , , , , on May 3, 2010| 2 Comments »

I’ve mentioned words I hate in a number of posts. Lest you think I am a negative person — a hater, if you will — I have compiled a list of words I love (definitions courtesy of dictionary.com). Here they are, in no particular order:

Moist (adjective): Moderately or slightly wet; damp
People either love this word or hate it. I love it because I think it really conveys that clammy quality.
Example: I shook his moist, limp hand, and instantly regretted it.

Egregious (adjective): extraordinary in some bad way; glaring; flagrant
The word just rolls off the tongue (or off the fingers, as the case may be).
Example: The professor wrote, “I will take off five points for each egregious error I find.”

Heinous (adjective): hateful; odious
Like egregious, it is just a good, all-purpose adjective to convey something unpleasant.
Example: Trish’s attitude swings from lovely to heinous — sometimes within minutes.

Beastly (adjective): nasty; unpleasant; disagreeable
See “egregious” and “heinous.”
Example: The humidity in Savannah is quite beastly in August.

Harass (verb): to disturb persistently; pester
Up until recently, this word was pronounced “HAIR-uhs” (and still is in many places). Here in America, we commonly say “huh-RASS,” which I like better because it is stronger (and I get to say “ass”).
Example: “Gideon, stop harassing the dog!” Eddie said.

Jackass (noun): a contemptibly foolish or stupid person
Speaking of ass, “jackass” is also a great word. It is strong, succinct, and also employs the word “ass.”
Example: People who leave anonymous comments on blogs are just jackasses.

Badger (verb): to harass
It is just such a great, descriptive verb.
Example: Dominic would not stop badgering his mother about his Batman suit.

Meh (interjection): expression of apathy or indifference
Nothing says indifference quite like “meh.” Just ask students in my classes.
Example: She asked, “Professor, how do you feel about my paper topic?” “Meh,” I replied.

Rascal (noun): a mischievous person or animal
I think I might have stolen this word from Eddie. I’m a rascal.
Example: Eddie looked at our wedding picture and said, “Who’s that handsome rascal?”


Hillbilly (noun): a person from a backwoods or other remote area
The word conjures up so many fantastic images.
Example: Effingham County is populated with hillbillies; Chatham County is populated with hillbillies who have money.

I see a theme here. I promise I also like words that convey positive things. But that is for another post.

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Secrets of a Soccer Mom

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , on April 20, 2010| 4 Comments »

I’m about to take Gideon to soccer practice. I always feel like an elephant at the rhino watering hole when I go to soccer practice. I just don’t fit in.

But I do like to watch my kids having fun.

Trish the Human took this picture of Dominic in his first game. Notice the concentration.

Also notice something else. It’s on the left. What is this?

Does this woman not own a mirror? Make sure to look at the back view, people!

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Concept vs. reality

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , on April 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »

It seems so idyllic: A mother helps her young children color eggs for Easter. And this is a happy-looking scene:

The reality is that this was one of the only peaceful moments. For 95 percent of the afternoon, it was a cacophony.

“Mama! He’s got my crayon!”

“I wanted the blue!”

“Get your egg out of there!”

“Stop slinging the dye!” (OK, that was me.)

And I also had to explain what the Easter Bunny has to do with Jesus. Like Christmas, Easter is a holiday of mixed messages: “Eat candy and think about Jesus.” Kids are right: It doesn’t make any sense. But as adults, we kind of go along with it.

I wasn’t going to give them Easter baskets because my kids don’t need candy. Don’t say, “Aww, that’s mean,” unless you know them. And if you know them, you wouldn’t say it. I caved and made small ones for them. Shortly after they hunted those slimy eggs and tore into the baskets, I regretted my decision. Their shrieks nearly made my ears bleed and their playroom looked like a Toys R Us had exploded.

I may have gone a little berserk. I may have smashed one of their toy guitars like I was Pete Townshend. I may not invite the Easter Bunny over again.

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Beach bums (and fronts, ears, eyes, etc.)

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , on March 29, 2010| 3 Comments »

Today was the first day of beach season for us. So begins a summer of sand-filled crevices.

In honor of the water-loving that is beginning everywhere, I’m sharing this sign I’ve been saving (thank you, Carrie):

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Love is in the air

Posted in Random, tagged , , , on March 27, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Arranged marriages are not an American thing, but Eddie and I are considering it for our boys. We have a coterie of long-time friends who all have pretty little girls: Patrick and Petra have Mia, Billy and Miwa have Niina and Mana, and Eggy and Sophia have Ava. Gideon has already chosen Mana with no nudging from us.

Gideon and Mana, his future wife

Dominic informed us that he was going to marry Niina. But now I think he is exploring his options. He seems to be smitten by Baby Ava.

Dominic and Baby Ava

Interesting. Very interesting.

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Can’t we all just get along?: The Batman and Robin version

Posted in Random, tagged , , , on March 20, 2010| 4 Comments »

Dominic may look like Eddie, but he is totally my son on the inside. He asks a billion questions, likes to talk, gets obsessed with an idea and can’t let it rest, etc.

He is also a budding writer.

One of his favorite lessons at school is to tell a story to his teacher, who writes it down, then he illustrates the story.

It is a Montessori school, so his stories have a very polite angle. One could even say “anticlimactic.” See for yourself:

These are very different from the soap operas I wrote in high school (Kelly, you’ll remember those), but I love that he is a storyteller too.

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Youth = gone

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 11, 2010| 4 Comments »

My transformation is now complete. I am now part of the “Mom” species. Yes, I know I have two kids and have been a mom for a while. But this week, I became a Mom with a capital M.

One of my students said about me, “She is like the cool mom.” And that aged me 10 years.

Then Dominic started soccer practice. And that added 10 more. I’m a freakin’ Soccer Mom. Feeling middle-aged and frumpy. How did this happen?

Soon, I’ll be shopping at JCPenney for Mom jeans. Thanks to SNL, I can show you what I mean.

The good news is that the boys love soccer. I’m happy because they’ll learn teamwork and get some exercise. Too bad the sand gnats like soccer practice too.

Dominic (blue shorts) learns fundamentals

Gideon's got mad skillz

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My husband made me do it

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , , on January 22, 2010| 6 Comments »

In 2005, when SCAD was considering offering a writing major, I thought to myself, “Self, it would be great to teach in that department.” Though I had oodles of work experience, I knew that SCAD’s accrediting body prefers terminal degrees in the field of instruction. So I had two choices: Get another M.F.A. (the one I have is in performing arts) or get a Ph.D. I chose the latter.

I had three criteria in mind as I researched programs: areas of study offered (journalism or communications), proximity and reputation. The one that fulfilled all these requirements was University of South Carolina.

Eddie badgered me to apply. “But that would require taking the GRE!” I whined. “And I’m pregnant!”

“So?” he said, with very little compassion, I might add.

Lest you think he is heartless, his philosophy was that I might as well get on it while the kids were very young. That way I would be done when they got old enough to start extracurricular activities that I wouldn’t want to miss.

I knew he was right. I forced myself to take the GRE and apply to the doctoral program in the USC School of Journalism and Mass Communications. I was accepted, and began coursework Fall 2006. The total courses involved for most folks: 16 (48 semester hours). For me: 18 (because my master’s is not in the specific area).

I finished the coursework in April 2009. I spent the summer procrastinating on my dissertation proposal, and dreading the comprehensive exams (four days, three hours a day of answering questions in four areas: theory, methods, ethics and rhetoric, which is my outside area). I passed the foreign language proficiency test in October (see related post). The comps dread continued.

The time came, though, for me to put up or shut up. I studied my haunches off in preparation for the comps, which I stupidly scheduled for the week after Thanksgiving. The 19 people in my house for the holiday might not have fully understood why I was so stressed out.

Along with the written comps, there is an oral defense. That happened today. After my committee slowly roasted me over an open fire for two hours, they decreed that I had passed. To be honest, the first 20 minutes were horrendous, but then the rest was fine. The discussion will help me hone my dissertation proposal, for sure.

And that is the next step. I defend said proposal in front of my committee Feb. 19. Once I pass (the power of positive thinking), I will work exclusively on my own research for my dissertation. Then I will have to defend my dissertation in front of the same committee. Thumbs up, and my hooding awaits. Thumbs down, and … well, that’s really not an option for me.

So if I look a little frazzled in February (and over the summer), you’ll know why.

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Part V: Happily ever after

Posted in Random, tagged , , , on January 20, 2010| 6 Comments »

… crickets … crickets … crickets …

Yes, I know the silence here has been deafening. I’ve got a good excuse: dissertation proposal. That is the cause of the many gray hairs I’ve found over the past few days. Seriously. My doctoral work is causing gray hair.

But back to the story.

SHE SAID:

Eddie and I officially started dating Sept. 27, 1994. Three months later, on Dec. 31, 1994, Eddie and I and our two friends, Alex and Brenon, headed to City Market to ring in the new year with a dropping peach and dropping drunks.

A few minutes to midnight, Alex and Brenon cleared a little spot in the melee and Eddie dropped to one knee and proposed. I was a little stunned, and was uncharacteristically quiet. Eddie said, “You have just a couple of minutes to say yes!” I did, of course.

HE SAID:

I thought she was going to begin another waiting game! Beth is never one to be short on words, but this day she did not say much. Dare I say, she was speechless.

SHE SAID:

While our families thought it was very sudden, our friends were not surprised at all and just wondered why it took so long. (Heidi, I’m talking about you.)

HE SAID:

Yeah, her friends were all on my side.

SHE SAID:

We got married in Forsyth Park Sept. 9, 1995. We deliberately chose an easy date to remember (9.9.95) because neither of us is good with remembering dates. This is why I have a journal.

HE SAID:

I loved having a rainbow wedding party.  All those guys have remained good friends through all these years. I can remember hugging Dad (Beth’s Dad) and we both had tears. I said, “I’ve always wanted a Dad.” He said, “I always wanted a son.” Dad has really been the dad I never had. He is an awesome person.

SHE SAID:

Ten years and many adventures later, we added Dominic to our family, followed by Gideon.

HE SAID:

It’s crazy how little things — such as writing about  how you met — can make you think about how great your partner is. This has been fun, and I can’t come close to telling everyone how Beth has changed my life. She took a character like me and made me a much better person. Now she gave me two awesome boys, and I can’t get enough of them. She is a great mom, which is number one on the list of her many great traits.

SHE SAID:

Our life together so far has been pretty great. And that’s an understatement.

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