Posted in Travel, tagged Academics, Beer and wine, Cultural differences, Food, Government, Out of the house, Peeves, Students, Travel on September 24, 2023| 3 Comments »
Hi Everyone!
I just got back from a trip to China for work. I was in Zhengzhou and Shanghai. I had been to Shanghai before, so I kind of knew what to expect.
However, there were some surprises.
Things I did not have on my bingo card:
It was an interesting and productive trip, but I’m glad to be home.
Beth
*Bowie, of course.
Posted in Home Sweet Home, Random, tagged Academics, Advice, Complaints, Job search, Oregon, Out of the house, Outfits, Peeves, Rage, Technology, White people on August 6, 2023| Leave a Comment »
Hi everyone!
My first week went well. Everyone has been very kind, very welcoming.
I’ve also been a bit overwhelmed at the scope of the work to do. I stayed late every night this week trying to get a handle on my role. But my instincts have proven to be sound, and I’ll be fine.
I have discovered that Oregonians are a particular kind of nice.
They are lovely people, but don’t seem to go out of their way to help. High school friend Aileen, who lives in Salem, warned me about that.
You have to ask explicitly for what you want.
For example, I locked myself out of my house for the first time in my life the week before I started work. The doorknob of the door leading into the garage has a thumb lock you really have to work at to pop out. I thought I had done that.
When I returned from taking out the trash, I realized I had not.
I had only the clothes on my back. No phone. And I was filthy because I had been painting and unboxing and trying to get the place in order.
Ruh, roh, Raggy.
I didn’t even know where campus security was to get help. (I live on campus.) I walked to my soon-to-be office building to call campus security. One of my direct reports was working late. I materialized in her doorway. She and I were both horrified at the state of me. She barely recognized me.
Beth?!
Yeah.
She called security and handed me the phone.
Security officer: I don’t know that we even have keys to that place.
Me: If you don’t, do you know a locksmith?
Him: I’m not from here. I don’t know a locksmith.
Me: Could I use your phone to call one?
Him: Sure. I’ll meet you at your house in 10 minutes.
We arrive at the same time. He tried the keys. No luck. I use his phone to call a locksmith. The dude has to come from Salem, which is 45+minutes. He asks me what kind of lock it is. I tell him it’s heavy duty because it’s campus housing. He says he might have to drill it out. We hang up.
Me: I don’t think the facilities group is going to like that.
Security officer: No. I don’t think the campus locksmith will either.
Me (incredulous): THERE’S A CAMPUS LOCKSMITH?!
Him: Oh yes.
Me: Well, can we call him?
Him: Yes, I’ll call the facilities manager on call.
Me: THERE’S A FACILITIES MANAGER ON CALL?!?
Darrell the Campus Locksmith got there in five minutes and let me in.
See what I mean? Nice but not forthcoming.
It’s different from Southern nice, where people WILL go out of their way but talk smack about you when the screen door shuts.
And different from Midwest nice, where people will go out of their way with no expectation of return favors and no gossip.
So now I know. I can work with that.
I’ll keep you posted on the adventures I expect to have.
Beth
Posted in Home Sweet Home, Parenting, Travel, tagged Aging, Complaints, Customer service, Family, Fat, Friends, Loneliness, Out of the house, Parenting, Peeves, Rage, St. Louis, Travel on July 16, 2023| 5 Comments »
Captain’s Log, Day 1 (and lead up)
Movers came.
Car transport service came.
I packed the remaining stuff for the RV and worried about space.
The next day, the epic road trip started out fine. I had to pick up the RV in Kansas City, so I hitched a ride with my brother who was headed there for a gig.
Why did I have to get it in Kansas City? Good question. Cruise America doesn’t have any locations closer to St. Louis. It was KC or Chicago. Weird, but ok.
While on the way, Gideon was updating me on the flight. Allegiant flies direct from Savannah, Georgia, to Belleville, Illinois, (close to St. Louis) seasonally. No frills, of course. It’s a sky bus.
Despite my flight tracker saying they were en route and the Allegiant app saying they were on time, they were delayed. No explanation.
According to Gideon, for a moment, it looked like they were going to board. But then, the flight was canceled. No reason given. No attempt to reschedule: Sucks to be you; we’ll give you a voucher.
The next flight out on any airline that would get them there that night was $1,319 per ticket.
Mama ain’t got that kind of cash.
Survey says: Delta for $259 the next morning.
I arranged all this while sitting on a stack of furniture pads in the RV place that doubles as a UHaul rental center.
So that was fun.
They headed home. So did I.
Despite being 30 feet long, the RV is easy to drive. It’s not cheap, though.
What I had been counting on was having help loading the beast for the trip with everything the movers didn’t take.
But that wasn’t the case. My next-door neighbors took pity on me and helped me with some of it.
I organized as much as I could before the heat melted me like the Wicked Witch of the West.
Next up: The adventure begins. For real this time.
Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged Academics, Aging, Beer and wine, Complaints, Country music, Death, Family, Fear, Job search, Kids, Out of the house, Parenting, Peeves, Pets, Rage, St. Louis, Travel on July 12, 2023| 3 Comments »
Dear Readers,
In about a week, I’ll be on the road again. While Willie just can’t wait, I am not similarly excited.
I will be embarking on my sixth move in as many years.
This time I am headed to Oregon. A university there made it very worth my while.
So I’m packing up AGAIN. This time, I’m hiring movers to help me. HOWEVER, moving still belongs in the first, fifth and seventh circles of hell.
And while I’m leaving much of it to the professionals, I still plan to move some personal things, things they won’t take (my wine!), and this guy:
I’m renting an RV to make the cross-country trek with Eddie and the boys. I’m hopeful it will go more smoothly than that other trip we were supposed to take in an RV.
There are a handful of states I haven’t visited, and most of them are in that upper chunk of the United States. So here we go! Adventure awaits.
I’ll be sure to tell you all about it.
Wish me luck (and retained sanity)!
Beth
Posted in Advice, Travel, tagged Advice, Complaints, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Disorders, Out of the house, Peeves, Rage, Requests, Travel on June 25, 2023| Leave a Comment »
Hey Y’all!
Auntie Beth is back with more tips on how to live in a world with OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.
(Auntie Beth was in New York briefly for a conference and witnessed some very disturbing behavior.)
1. DON’T stand directly in front of elevator doors. It’s surprising this has to be said, but people likely are ON that elevator and need to get off. If you are standing there, you are making it difficult. The same goes for train doors.
2. DON’T stop at the top or bottom of an escalator to check your phone. Again, there are other people using the escalator and would like to keep moving once they are off.
3. DON’T walk three abreast on a sidewalk. AGAIN, there are other people in the world who would like to walk on the sidewalk.
4. DON’T leave COVID-time space between yourself and your companion while walking. For the fourth time, other people would like to get past you.
5. DON’T clump on the sidewalk to have a conversation. I mean … reread 1-4 for why.
What do all these scenarios have in common?
The inability for the offenders to recognize there are other people in their orbit.
In other words, Main Character Syndrome.
Please — for the love of all that is good in this world — pay attention to people around you. Have some social/spatial awareness.
Auntie Beth (and many others) will thank you!
*Of course that’s from this movie.
Posted in Advice, Random, tagged Advice, Aging, Complaints, Disorders, Fear, Media, Obsessions, Parasites, Peeves, Pets, Poop, St. Louis, Technology, White people on April 26, 2023| 8 Comments »
Y’all.
I’ve mentioned before how much I love the Next Door app.
I cannot get enough of the petty drama. Just look:
Lord have mercy. These PEOPLE.
But I am HERE for it.
And for what it is worth, I’m Team Heather.
Posted in Random, tagged Complaints, Customer service, Job search, Media, Peeves, Technology on March 7, 2023| 3 Comments »
Dear Mike:
You absolutely did NOT find something that would interest me. In fact, if you knew me, you would know that is the LAST job that would interest me. Also, unless mini golf counts, I am completely unqualified.
How did you get my email address? I don’t know you. What profile? Linked In? If so, it STILL doesn’t match up.
Take me off whatever list you have.
Kthxbyeeee,
Beth
Posted in Home Sweet Home, tagged Aging, Beer and wine, Bright ideas, Complaints, Out of the house, Peeves, Politicians, Rednecks, St. Louis on February 19, 2023| 2 Comments »
Dear Savannah:
Mardi Gras in St. Louis reminded me of you.
It’s definitely like St. Patrick’s Day on River Street.
The only thing different is that St. Louis had a parade with actual floats (not politicians in convertibles).
Though I won’t be able to experience St. Pat’s with you this year, you clearly are in my thoughts.
Love always,
Beth
Posted in Politics, tagged Advice, Bright ideas, Bureaucrats, Complaints, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Customer service, Disorders, Fear, Government, Media, Nudity, Obsessions, Outfits, Parasites, Pecking order, Peeves, Politicians, Politics, Rage, Rednecks, St. Louis, White people on January 18, 2023| 3 Comments »
Dear Rep. Ann Kelley,
What — and I mean this sincerely — the f*** are you doing?
WHY would you propose a change to the Missouri House of Representatives rules that forces women to cover their arms?
And you are a woman. What the heck?!
Let me get this straight: You lost your mind over requiring people to wear masks a couple of years ago to stop the spread of COVID, but now you are forcing women to wear sleeves?
You claim it was to clarify language to be “equal” to men. (By the way, you really should hire a PR person or copy editor or SOMEONE to help you with your writing skills.)
Sure it was.
I can’t believe it was adopted 105-51. (Note that the House is made up of 116 men and 43 women. Party affiliation for reference: 111 R, 52 D.)
I can’t believe you wasted any time on this at all. Have you seen the state rankings? Just look!
30th in Education
42nd in Public Safety
42nd in Healthcare
I swear to God — you are affecting my healthcare: my mental health!
I really don’t know why I’m surprised at either of the things above. It’s so much easier to control women and what they do and wear rather than tackle big issues in all people’s lives. Right, Ann?
What an embarrassment this is for the state. You want to be in the international consciousness with this foolishness?
I’m so glad my representative didn’t vote for this nonsense. (Granted, I think he was absent that day.)
Pull yourself together, please. Focus on important issues.
Sincerely,
Beth, a Missouri resident with sense
Posted in Advice, Home Sweet Home, tagged Advice, Complaints, Disorders, Food, Friends, Media, Obsessions, Peeves, St. Louis, Technology, White people on January 12, 2023| Leave a Comment »
Dear Neighbors,
Y’all be out here WILDIN’ (as the kids say). That is, if the Next Door app is any indication.
I live a quiet life. I mind my own business. I’m not out trying to be the stereotype of Angry White Woman (i.e., Karen or BBQ Becky).
Some of you are LIVING for the drama. And bringing it.
For example, Laurie and Claralyn woke up and chose violence.
And then there are posts like the following that have me shaking my head, for a variety of reasons.
My guilty pleasure is following the Best of Next Door on Twitter.
I mean, LOOK:
How could I resist?
But in the words of the late, great Rodney King, “Can’t we all get along?”
Despite the inauspicious start, I get along with both my next-door neighbors, and I’m close with about a dozen of you in our neighborhood. And some of you must like me a little as you voted me into a leadership role. I also took on the task of editing the neighborhood newspaper. Because of course I did.
As I have free rein with the paper, I want to start an advice column to help resolve minor conflicts. Like alley clippings. Neighbor friends Kathy and Marlane have agreed to help.
I think it could be fun. Also, it may raise everyone’s self awareness and tolerance.
But probably not. 😬😉
Anyway, I’m just trying to help. No need to get knickers in a twist over Christmas lights and weeds, when there is the VERY REAL problem of holiday creep.
My friend Jude sent me evidence of Valentine’s Day merch in a store on Dec. 27.
THAT’S a problem.
Your neighbor,
Beth
*RIP Bob McGrath.
Observe and report 