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Posts Tagged ‘Politicians’

Mawage, that bwessed awangement

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , , on May 16, 2013| 1 Comment »

Photo courtesy of Shane Marshall Brown

Photo courtesy of Shane Marshall Brown

Dear Shane and Jason:

Thank you so much for inviting me to your wedding. I haven’t cried at a wedding in years, but I cried at yours. Seeing wuv, true wuv made me emotional! Not that straight people don’t have true love too, but they don’t have problems making it legally binding.

(You obviously know how I feel about same-sex marriage, so I don’t need to go into great detail here.)

I just think if people could see what I saw, then there wouldn’t be any opposition. Love is love. Shane, look at your sweet face in this photo!

945154_10101436977751987_279929453_n

I feel honored that I could be a part of your special day, meet a whole passel of fun, self-proclaimed “theater gays,” and witness something truly wonderful. It even offered a teaching moment for my boys.

Dominic: “Why are you packing?”
Me: “Remember I’m going to my friends’ wedding?”
Dominic: “Oh right. Which friends?”
Me: “Shane and Jason.”
Dominic (looking at me for a beat): “Is Shane the girl?”
Me: “No.”
Dominic: “Jason’s the girl?”
Me: “No.”
Dominic: “They’re both boys?”
Me: “Yes.”
Dominic: “They’re gay?”
Me: “Yes.”
Dominic: “Gay people can get married?”

Yes, Dominic. They can in some places, and they should in more.

Do I love you because you’re beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you? (from “Cinderella,” Rodgers and Hammerstein)

I think you two are beautiful. Thank you for letting me share in your big moment.

Love,
Beth

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Tragicomedy in Carolina

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , on May 7, 2013| 2 Comments »

Dear Friends in South Carolina:

I need you to explain something to me. How is it possible that Mark Sanford is a viable candidate for the 1st Congressional District seat vacated by Rep. Tim Scott? I realize that this district skews Republican. I get it. But even Republicans can’t possibly want to vote for THIS Republican.

Let’s recap his behavior as S.C. governor in June 2009:

Sanford and his lady love

Sanford and his lady love

His wife, Jenny, divorced him. Smart lady.

Even people in his own party called him out.

Irrational behavior. Lies, lies, lies. (Sen. Jake Knotts)

Yet S.C. voters haven’t kicked him to the curb. In fact, polls indicate that he and his Democratic rival, Elizabeth Colbert Busch, are neck and neck.

Elizabeth Colbert Busch

Yes, she’s a Democrat asking for a traditionally Republican seat. Yes, she’s the sister of Stephen Colbert, which works against her in some circles. But COME ON!

You’re going to believe THIS guy when he starts talking about ethics and values?

I believe in second chances, but this is ridiculous.

So I ask you, my friends: How is Sanford a viable candidate? Please tell me the polls just made the race look close. Please tell me he won’t win the special election today. Please.

Hello?

Sigh.
Beth

*UPDATE: He freakin’ won!

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Stuck on Sue

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , on April 3, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Dear Readers:

I realized that I was a little too earnest in yesterday’s post. Ludicrous comments call for ludicrous responses though. Below is what I should have posted.

Enjoy!
Beth

Imaginary letters to Sue Everhart after her comments to the Marietta Daily Journal:

Fake letter to Sue Everhart

Fake letter to Sue Everhart

Fake letter to Sue Everhart

Fake letter to Sue Everhart

* An accident like this one

* Sound familiar?

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A joy named Sue

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , on April 2, 2013| 2 Comments »

Sue Everhart

Dear Sue Everhart:

Congratulations for putting the Peach State in the headlines! Of course, it is for all the wrong reasons. Your comments to the Marietta Daily Journal reinforce the all-too-common notion that the South is full of bigoted idiots.

Remember that Mark Twain quote about being stupid? Let me refresh your memory:

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Let’s recap your concerns about legalizing same-sex marriage:

  1. Straight people will pose as gay to reap benefits.
  2. Gay people don’t have the proper “equipment” to have sex.
  3. Gay parents influence their children’s sexual orientation.

Oh wow. Really, Sue? Really?

For once, I am speechless. I’m so shocked that someone would actually believe these things, let alone say them to a reporter. I don’t even know where to begin.

You start your diatribe by stating, “I’m going to get in trouble over this …”

Yes, Sue, you are. At least, I hope so. I hope there are enough rational people in Georgia and the nation to educate you on the subject of what gay people do and don’t do, can and can’t do, will and won’t do (as if “they” are any different from everyone else). But will you listen?

Georgia Trend named you one of the 100 Most Influential Georgians (2008, 2011, 2012), so you are used to people listening to you. How I hope this trend won’t continue.

At the very least, you may have to check in with your constituents before the next election. The tide is turning against haters like yourself.

Remember what you said after the November 2012 election?

image

“By the people, of the people and for the people” includes gay people too, as inconvenient as that is for you.

Or maybe this was just a poor attempt at an April Fools’ Day joke. Right, Sue?

Sue?

Sigh.
Beth

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In Dixie land, I’ll take my stand

Posted in Random, tagged , , , on February 25, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Dear East Dublin Lions Club Members:

I was shocked to learn today that you have decided to cancel the 2013 Redneck Games. According to the Associated Press article, there are four reasons for this decision:

  1. The economy
  2. Low attendance at prior festivals
  3. Sponsors backing out
  4. Scrutiny from the Georgia Environmental Protection Division folks who found fecal bacteria in the Oconee River.

No. 1 is a lame, catch-all excuse, so I won’t even address that.

No. 2 and 3 go hand-in-hand, but it is your own fault: You moved the successful festival from July to Memorial Day Weekend last year. What were you thinking? Surely you weren’t surprised that only a few hardcore fans (ahem … folks like me … ahem) showed up. And the ratio of attendees to media people was about 3:1.

Media attention, Redneck Games 2012

Media attention, Redneck Games 2012

That brings us to No. 4 (maybe this should have been No. 2 — har har). First of all, YUCK! Get that cleaned up! Second, just stop people from going in the river. No big deal. Give ’em some hoses or a set up a sprinkler and they will be fine.

Redneck Riviera, Redneck Games 2011

Redneck Riviera, Redneck Games 2011

I hope you will reconsider. If you embraced technology, got your website up to scratch, and started using social media effectively, you could build on all the media attention from years past and have an amazing, well-attended festival.

You should not deny the public the ability to see this:

Bobbin' for pigs' feet, Redneck Games 2010

Bobbin’ for pigs’ feet, Redneck Games 2010

Or this:

Mudpit belly flop, Redneck Games 2010

Mudpit belly flop, Redneck Games 2010

Or even this:

Stylish attendee, Redneck Games 2011

Stylish attendee, Redneck Games 2011

Please reconsider. Don’t let me down.

Old times, they are not forgotten,
Beth

Southern style

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I prefer the term “Renaissance Woman”

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 24, 2012| 1 Comment »

Dear Dr. G:

Hello, and I hope you are doing well since I last saw you at AEJMC. I’ve been thinking about you lately for a strange reason.

You once called me a dilettante, which made me mad at the time. It wasn’t really accurate for the situation (as I recall, you were upset with me because you wanted me to focus solely on my doctoral work, but I wanted to keep my full-time job, you know, so I could eat and have shelter).

La dilettante

I know your heart was in the right place, and that you were, in your own way, showing confidence in my ability to do scholarly research full time.

Though it may seem like I am a dabbler, it’s not that at all. It’s the opposite, actually. I throw myself into something fully, learn as much as I can, then I move on to something else. More short attention span than dilettante.

sorry-attention-span-length-apology-ecard-someecards

That’s why I have five degrees (yes, five). It is also why my résumé looks like the life of eight different people.

If I could, I’d have more jobs (in addition to the one I have now, which I love). Some of these jobs include:

  • Flight attendant (A waitress in the sky? Yes!)
  • Travel writer
  • Tour guide for some exotic location
  • Cruise ship social director or bartender  (like Julie or Isaac from The Love Boat)
  • Personal chef (Wait … I think I already am.)
  • Character actress (like Rebel Wilson)
  • Personal assistant to someone nearly crazy (Think of the stories I could tell!)
  • NBC page (that’s one of those unfulfilled college ideas)
  • Beta tester for games
  • Game show host
  • Full-time employee at my university’s study-abroad campus in France (!)
  • Owner of a craft brewery
  • PR executive for Disney
  • Train conductor
  • State senator

Maybe Santa can bring me new names for my contact list to help me accomplish my goals.

So yes, I am interested in many things. Dilettante? No. Focused? Yes, for periods of time. Game show host? I can only hope. Thanks for helping me in one of my pursuits.

Anyway, happy holidays, and I look forward to seeing you in Washington, D.C.

Sincerely,
Beth, Aspirational Polymath

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Advice for 2016

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , on November 7, 2012| 2 Comments »

Dear members of the GOP:

I know you are sad and licking your wounds today. This election battle was incredibly contentious with plenty of time, money and emotion invested.

As I am one of those voters you would like to target (the kind who votes for the person, not the party), I’d like to give you some tips on how you can win in 2016.

  • Pick a candidate people actually like. Even die-hard Republicans had trouble getting behind Romney. Cold and robotic don’t play well in politics. Just ask Al Gore. It says something when a Republican restaurant owner feels inspired to give the Democratic president a bear hug (and then of course gets ripped apart by other Republicans).

  • Don’t let your candidate and his wife talk about their three houses and four cars. It’s OK to have a successful person as a candidate, but don’t rub it in a struggling nation’s face.
  • Don’t alienate most of the country. Heinous bumper stickers with slogans such “Don’t Re-Nig” and T-shirts bearing the phrase “Put the white back in the White House” may play well among the racists, but we should all hope that is a small (and getting smaller) group.
  • Remember that gay people and women vote. If you are going to promote policies that negatively affect major groups of people, those people likely are going to vote against you.
  • Remember that Hispanics also vote. Anti-immigration policies that are a not-so-thinly veiled attack on Hispanics, especially Mexicans, are not going to be crowd-pleasers in the Hispanic community.
  • Don’t talk about abstract concepts that — while important — are not affecting the daily lives of citizens. The deficit is extremely important, but it is an abstract issue for most people. You know what is not an abstract issue? Same-sex marriage. Also Planned Parenthood. And Big Bird.

If you really wanted to defeat Obama, you should have picked someone like Jon Huntsman. He could have pulled in people from the middle and the left.

You have four more years to get the party back on track. The horse is out of the gate on same-sex marriage, legalization of marijuana, and other issues you have been fighting. Get with it. Shift party focus to economic issues. Join together and start talking about working with the Democrats to make this country stronger.

Better luck in 2016!
Beth

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Musing on boobs

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , on September 23, 2012| 4 Comments »

Hello Blog!

It’s been 10 days since we’ve hung out together. That may be a record. I’m really sorry. I’ve been preoccupied. I’m worried about my cholesterol (high), boobs (strangely dense, according to the mammogram) and skin (suddenly rashy). Don’t even get me started on work, and the fact that I’m two months behind on a major project (sorry, Regine!).

So, what have you been doing? I see you’ve been hanging in there with a hundred or so views a day, mostly from people wanting to get a look at some parasites.

I’ll bet you’ve really been wanting to talk about Romney and his 47 percent comment. It’s tempting, but I just can’t get into any more arguments this week. It’s pointless. No one is going to change his/her mind at this point. And if people are still undecided, then they aren’t really paying attention and/or don’t care enough to understand the issues.

The two choices for president are Mitt Romney and Barack Obama. No one else has a chance. So Obama’s not perfect, but I like him better than Romney for a variety of reasons.

Ann Landers once said:

The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.

The corollary to it is that you can tell plenty about someone by the way he treats the waitstaff. Or the family dog.

Yep. That about sums up Romney’s character, I think, and his feelings toward almost half of America. Yet many of the people in that group, like the elderly (Hi, Dad!), will still vote for him. He’s got no plan, no numbers, no compassion, no sense, no charisma, no conviction.

And I’m not even a Democrat!

Faced with no real alternative (WHY did they choose Romney?), I’ll choose the party of “We’re in this together” versus “You’re on your own.” Maybe 2016 will be different.

Wait a minute. I just I did my own kind of flip-flopping. I said I wasn’t going to talk about this. Sorry about that. It was just too tempting, I guess.

Suddenly I’m not as concerned with my high cholesterol, dense boobs and rashy skin. And that work project seems manageable.

Thanks, Blog! You know how to make a girl feel better.

See you in a couple of days!
Beth

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Stop the madness

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , on September 5, 2012| 4 Comments »

Dear People Running for Office and Your Fervent, Angry Supporters:

I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take the venom spewing everywhere.

I know who I am voting for because I have examined carefully your platforms. I have evaluated what is important to me, and what will help me in my life and the lives of my friends and family.

Nasty ads are not going to make me change my mind. Snarky Facebook memes are not going to make me change my mind. Rage-filled comments telling me I am an idiot because I don’t support you are not going to make me change my mind. (In fact, those kinds of comments make me want to dig in my heels a little more.)

Of course, if someone wants to talk rationally WITH ME (not talk AT ME) about the different platforms, I’m all for it.

Perhaps you folks should do that.

The right and the left are not as far apart as screaming talk show hosts would like us to believe. Sadly, there’s no room for shades of gray in political rhetoric. (“50 Shades of Grey,” though, would be AWESOME!)

I’ve lost my will to correct people about their “facts.” I’ve lost the will to comment on an old college friends’ ridiculous slogan-filled status updates. I’ve really lost the will to use Facebook at all because I’m afraid of seeing more of the above. (I know I’ve posted my share of political things, but I’ve tried really hard not to be malicious. I’ve also tried to be fair if not balanced.)

We still have two months to go until the election. By now, I doubt there is a person left who has not made up his/her mind. So please can you just STFU?

I thank you, and my blood pressure thanks you.

Peace,
Beth

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Ignorance is this

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2012| 4 Comments »

Dear Certain Conservative White Male Politicians:

I know you are not in favor of sex ed in schools. It is clear you need some kind of education, though.

Let me explain reproduction to you in the terms similar to those I used for my son when he was four:

Boys and girls have different parts between their legs. When these parts come together, sometimes they can make a baby.

It doesn’t matter if these parts belong to people in the same family (incest), of different ages (statutory rape), or if the girl was not willing (rape).

And unlike EL James’ book, there aren’t 50 shades of grey when it comes to rape. Rape is rape. If one person doesn’t want to participate, it’s rape. There is no qualifier (like “legitimate”) before that word.

I cannot believe I have to explain this.

You sound like Johnny Nogerelli, Adrian Zmed’s character in “Grease 2“:

‎Can’t a girl just do that thing in a book where she adds up the dates of her uh — whaddayacallit — mentalstration?

No one likes to look like a complete idiot, so I’m going to help you out. Here is a link to a “How Stuff Works” exploration of reproduction. It even talks about contraception, so maybe you can share that with your buddy Rush. Please read at your leisure. You don’t even have to admit you read it. But if you do, it will save you future embarrassment.

Supporting the understanding and protection of lady bits,
Beth

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