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Posts Tagged ‘Students’

Just in time for Christmas, I offer you this gift of poorly executed signage.

The extra "e" gives it extra flavor, I bet.

Hmm ... La Guardia sign creators must not know the rule about using plural verbs with Latin plurals (although I grant that the rule is changing). (Photo courtesy of 36-hour Tina.)

Elizabeth sent this to me because I'm "special." I'm not sure if I should be offended.

Elizabeth also sent me this. I don't even know where to begin with this mistake medley. Make your own attempt in the comments section!

In addition to the seven exclamation points, this sign is frightening because it reveals that J.P. Morgan's entire fire alarm system hinges on this cord in this outlet. (Photo courtesy of 36-hour Tina.)

'Tis the season for extra apostrophes. (Image courtesy of Wigs -- er -- Lisa).

Happy holidays!

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I’m long overdue for a post about tattoo errors. Thanks to Anna for reminding me that hideousness exists outside of signs. And this hideousness is permanent.

Feast your eyes on these lovely examples of idiocy (of the bearer and creator):

At Least the Error Distracts from the Triteness of the Sentiment

Lord Give Me Strenght

The Revoluption Will Not Be Televised

Your Bluffing!

Latin for "Fail"

The top one is the only one that a tattoo artist can fix without too much trouble. The rest? Se jodio.

These are from a site dedicated to featuring the ugliest tattoos. (Warning: You could get sucked into hanging out on this site for hours!)

Maybe I should send in this photo I took at the Summer Redneck Games. It fits in rather well, doesn’t it?

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After reading some of the things people post on Facebook and Twitter and then having an e-mail argument with my sons’ barely literate soccer coach*, I’m even more concerned about the sad state of education in the United States.

Even John Cusack needs help.

I asked the students in my Business and Professional Writing class if they ever had to diagram a sentence. I was happy to see that most of them had, and they had done it in middle school.

Clearly some teachers are paying attention to fundamentals.

So can anyone explain this?

Or this?

I’d better not watch “Waiting for Superman” if I want to stay out of a fetal position.

 

*The apostrophe placement is correct; my sons play on the same team.

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… and that blog features grammar mistakes!

Sign on the window of a Savannah house

Thanks, Rachael, for the contribution!

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One of the greatest parts of my job — and there are many great parts — is that I get to travel to different high schools to give workshops about writing. Today, I was at Idyllwild Arts Academy to talk about writing for the Web and new media.

The school reminds me of the Camp Fire Girl camp I used to attend: Camp Toccoa. They are both all woodsy and have log cabins and wooden signs. Idyllwild is sleepaway high school, otherwise known as boarding school.

Here’s a view toward the library where I gave my presentation.

I’ll bet you couldn’t tell that Idyllwild is in Southern California. It’s in the San Jacinto Mountains between Palm Springs and Los Angeles. That scenery is VERY different from the landscape I drove through to get there. What follows is my interior monologue as I made my way from I-10 to California 243:

Scrubby scrub tumbleweed dust dirt this place is so dry tumbleweed loofah scrubby scrub scrub hey now here are some boulders wow there are lots of boulders is that a joshua tree this is getting kind of high this road is curving what is the speed limit great now my radio station is gone but I’m not going to stop to fix it let’s shut it off who is texting me right now must focus on this expletive road and holy cow this road is steep and expletive there are no expletive guard rails why wouldn’t they put in guard rails oh my God it’s raining now too and this road goes on forever and I’m afraid I’m going to drive off the side there’s expletive fog expletive now fantastic where is this expletive place I don’t want to die holy expletive elevation 6,000!

There are no guard rails in places I think there should be guard rails:

And this part of the trek reminded me of the Blue Ridge Mountains in Georgia, and the road to El Yunque in Puerto Rico:

It was a harrowing journey in the fog in a rental car. Clearly I made it alive, and the students in the workshop were worth the trek.

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Spellapalooza!

It’s been a tough week for the South Bend public school system.

But that means it’s been a good week for me, the person who makes fun of errors in the wild.

Friends and students have shared plenty of tidbits from their travels over the past couple of weeks.

Royce found a new kind of crab:

Charlotte found pudding cake, but is still looking for a missing “r.”

And Austin found a sign for the grammar category. I guess I should be happy it is not spelled “yore.”

Sigh. Is it really that hard?

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They’re heeeere!

All “Poltergeist” style, “they” have come. And by “they,” I mean the students who have appeared for fall quarter.

I’m happy the quarter has begun. No really — I am! It means I’m back to a regular schedule, and I can employ my stellar time-management skills. Plus, I’m teaching three classes I love to teach:

  • Writing for the Web (undergraduate)
  • Business and Professional Writing (undergraduate)
  • Business and Professional Writing (graduate)

What’s even better is that I only have a total enrollment of 22 for those three classes. Compare that with this summer (which shall be known henceforth as the Summer from the Bowels of Hell) when I had a total enrollment of 46 in three classes. Online. By the end of summer quarter, I needed reading glasses, and I could have used some medication.

But school is back in session, and all is well.

As Tangina said, “Cross over children. All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the Light. There is peace and serenity in the Light.”

Ah yes. Peace and serenity (and maybe some progress on my dissertation).

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Apparently, when my friends, family and students see errors in the wild, they think of me. That makes my heart swell. Maybe someday I’ll get a book deal out of my passion for correcting other people. (Or maybe I’ll just get a punch in the eye …)

Anyway, it has been a good week for adding to my collection. My friend Chad sent this bit of loveliness:

It was in the Savannah Morning News, of course, but what is worse than that is that it is an AP story. So it made it through the AP editors AND the ones at the SMN.

But writing student Elizabeth sent me one that topped that by a long shot! Pan down to the bottom to enjoy this little slice of heaven:

According to Elizabeth, her mom ripped this page out of the menu. It is probably a good thing for the restaurant. You wouldn’t want to advertise that you have a victimized rabbit.

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For reasons that should be obvious from some of my earlier posts, my anthem for this summer is Bowling For Soup’s 1999 song “1985.”


These lyrics in particular really resonate with me lately:

She’s seen all the classics, she knows every line
Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, even St. Elmo’s Fire
She rocked out to Wham!, not a big Limp Bizkit fan
Thought she’d get a hand on a member of Duran Duran

Where’s the mini-skirt made of snake skin?
And who’s the other guy that’s singing in Van Halen?
When did reality become TV?
Whatever happened to sitcoms, game shows, on the radio was

Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie and music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school they tell her that she’s uncool
‘Cause she’s still preoccupied with 19-19-1985
(Woo hoo hoo)

She hates time, make it stop
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this stop, stop, stop!

I can’t stop time, and I can’t go back to my 20s, so I must find joy in the present. And in the present, I find joy in little things.

Here’s a non-comprehensive list in no particular order of 50 things of things that make me happy.

  1. Doing impressions with Eddie of Tim Gunn.
  2. When Gideon yells “I love you, Mama” in crowded places.
  3. A hot, hilarious, handy husband
  4. Deciding to give up hoping that certain people will stop saying mean, untrue things about Eddie and me.
  5. Realizing that my best will never be good enough for some people, and coming to terms with that (a corollary to the above).
  6. Greek yogurt
  7. Greek yogurt with pomegranate
  8. Montessori school
  9. An iTunes playlist on which artists such as Lady Gaga, Will Smith, Amy Winehouse, OK Go and the Dixie Chicks live together harmoniously.
  10. Kenny Chesney’s “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy
  11. When my mother-in-law isn’t speaking to us
  12. “Everything” bagels
  13. That my father found a woman who makes him happy in his post-Mom life.
  14. Shopping for groceries
  15. Trying new recipes
  16. Having friends over
  17. Close female friends I’ve had for years who “get” me (Trish, Linda, Julia, Tina, Khaki, Heidi, Sophia and Terri come to mind)
  18. Funny male friends (Royce, Billy, Edgar, Alex, James, Ed, Michael — I’m talking about you)
  19. Facebook and Twitter
  20. Certain past and present students
  21. My Beer of the Month Club membership
  22. Grammar, punctuation and spelling errors in the wild because it means fodder for this blog
  23. Hearing the kids sing along to Owl City’s “Fireflies
  24. Primary colors, especially blue
  25. Coffee, specifically in a Starbucks frappuccino
  26. That I killed a venomous snake by myself
  27. Entertainment Weekly and People magazines
  28. AP Style
  29. “Amazing Race,” “Survivor,” “Project Runway,” “Top Chef”
  30. Knowing how to make certain meals, such as empanadas with Spanish rice, without a recipe
  31. Dominic’s interest in science
  32. That Eddie and I know what each other is thinking with one look (a code look)
  33. Cheese
  34. Cranium
  35. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Puffs (of course)
  36. Chickens
  37. That I can figure out a way to get to New York roughly twice a year
  38. Week 10 of the quarter
  39. Apple products
  40. Leaves changing in the fall
  41. Christmas Eve
  42. A quiet house
  43. Candles
  44. Living near lakes, the ocean, and people with pools
  45. Petra’s strawberry cake
  46. Ida’s Iranian cutlets
  47. Dragonflies
  48. Zunzi’s
  49. Walter the Farting Dog
  50. Bedtime

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Let’s talk about intent. SCAD graduate student Charlotte (fiancée of my friend Nate) provided a visual aid for this topic exploration.

I’m sure the writer wanted to get people excited about UGA football. But what he/she has really done is offer tickets to specific dogs. What do they want with those? And how much is $10,0000? Is it really $100,000? Or $10,000? I’ll take either.

My friend Heidi provided another good example.

The writer probably does not want people to sit in that cushy-looking chair. But instead, the sign warns against a sit-in. What about picketing or rioting? Are those OK instead?

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