WrestleMania was glorious. GLORIOUS!
I laughed. I cried. It was better than “Cats.”*
It began with a bang: Edge, the R-rated Superstar, vs. Alberto Del Rio.
VS.
My first hearty laugh of the evening came when the announcer claimed that Edge, in his vise grip on Del Rio, was trying to “rip the pectoral from the bone.” Sure. Sure he was.
I enjoyed many more noteworthy moves:
- The 619 (Rey Mysterio)
- The Cobra (Santino Marella)
- The Tombstone Piledriver (The Undertaker)
- The Stone Cold Stunner (Stone Cold Steve Austin)
- And (my personal favorite) The People’s Elbow (The Rock).
There were tire irons, sledgehammers, folding chairs, ATVs, pyrotechnics, muscular men in small panties — everything a girl could want.
And Pee-wee Herman. What the heck was he doing there? Well, a little sketch with The Rock.
And Snooki. She wrestled with Trish Stratus and John Morrison against LayCool. And busted out some acrobatics. Who knew?
My favorite part was listening to the commentary from the announcers. Here’s a sample:
- “I’m sure that knee doesn’t need any more punishment delivered to it.”
- “Whatever is going through his mind is definitely diabolical.”
- “That could have damaged his nervous system.”
- “Is there an escape from hell’s gate?”
- “We all smell what The Rock is cooking.”
Dominic and Gideon were fascinated. Dominic even felt the need to document the occasion.
Yes, more scarring.
I was scarred by the sight of John Cena’s jorts.
Despite that, plans are underway to watch WrestleMania XXVIII … in Miami!
*If anyone can find a video of the original Broadway show commercial that used this line, I will be eternally grateful.
Observe and report 
Too funny. Also, a very good use of the medium… hmmmm… note to self…
Best, Becca
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Thanks!
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Should I be concerned?? Is this redneck transformation going to be permanent? I mean it’s okay, I love RC cola and pork skins….. we can still hang out right?
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It may be permanent, unless there is some kind of pill or ointment to treat it.
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