… you have a portalet on the back of your pickup.
My neighbor might be a redneck.
I’m not sure if I am becoming one, or am one already, but I certainly live next to some.
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here’s my take:
Your neighbor might be a redneck if …
- He doesn’t own a shirt. (If my next-door neighbor has one, he never wears it.)
- She drives to the mailbox.
- You had to put up a taller fence to keep your neighbor from peeping over it to see what you were doing.
- Her free-range terrier tried to kill your chicken. (Wait — that might make me a redneck too.)
- She operates a beauty salon in her garage.
- He has an RV in his back yard, and his kids live in it. (To be clear, they are grown.)
- There has been a refrigerator box in his yard for three months.
Including the portalet, there are eight examples of redneckery afoot in my neighborhood. Yet I’m only talking about four different neighbors.
Redneck is as redneck does (apologies to Forrest Gump).
Observe and report 
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