Dear Apothic Red,
Thank you so much for saving my sanity this quarter. Without you, I might be balled up and slobbering on the floor of my office. Well, more than usual.
I remember when we first met, just a few short weeks ago. I was looking for Cupcake Red Velvet when the Publix wine dude suggested I try you instead. I like to keep my options open, so I took both of you home with me. (You and Cupcake, that is, not you and the wine dude.)
That afternoon, I needed to be outside in the back yard with the children, so I had to take you to go. My first sip was an injustice to your carefully crafted zest. Yet even swigged from the contours of my blue Solo cup, you tasted divine. I reveled in the dance of a thousand flavors as I listened to the gentle sounds of playtime:
Mama! He threw a stick at me!
Well, he did it first!
I did not!
He did too!
Did not!
(etc.)
Thanks to you, Apothic Red, I was able to tune out this chatter and focus on something more important: the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly.
Thanks to you, I could later deaden the pain of having to give a great student a B in a class where he/she would have earned an A had he/she just followed the assignment directions.
Thanks to you, I managed to silence the screaming, stressed-out voices in my head who were trying to prevent me from ticking off the 4,322 items on my to-do list.
You (and your subsequent copies) have brought me much joy and peace over the past month. I can’t thank you enough.
Hope to see you soon!
Your friend,
Beth
Observe and report 
Going to have to get me some of that! Tuning out the constant battle updates would be nice…
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Totally works for me! (And thanks for reading.)
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You need help.
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I have help. See above.
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Awesome……blue solo cup…..gonna get you a costly turvis tumbler for future backyard shinanagans.
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Those may be too classy for me.
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Red solo cup, I’ll fill you up, we’ll have a party!
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I will need to try that one. Just recently reailzed the joy of red wine.
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