Dear People of Oxford, England:
Thank you for your hospitality when I visited last week for a conference. At no time did I feel that you thought less of me because I am an American. (Although perhaps I, like many Americans, was just oblivious.)
Thank you for not mocking me when I tipped, or took an inordinately long time trying to decipher the wording on the coins.
I know you could tell I am American because I smiled all the time and was extra friendly. I hope my American accent didn’t sound too much like a bird squawking. Or like this.
Americans are like dogs to England’s cats. We have big personalities and can be overwhelming. We’re always wanting attention, calling attention to ourselves, trying to engage people somehow. Running around with chew toys and slinging slobber. That sort of thing.
In contrast, you English folks are more reserved, aloof even. You might play with the metaphorical cat toy, but only if it suits you, and certainly not when anyone is watching.
But you were kind to me, and for that I am appreciative.
You really are jolly good chaps.
Cheerio, and I hope to see you again soon.
Beth
Observe and report 
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