Dear Adam Levine:
Congratulations on the success of “The Voice” and your single “Payphone.” Your work on “The Voice” (and your bromance with Blake) has provided many hours of entertainment for my husband and me.
Though I would consider myself a fan, I would use the qualifier “casual,” not “rabid.” So imagine my surprise when I had a dream about you last night.
I have no idea why I was pitching you my ideas for how to make television news more interactive and appealing to advertisers. I don’t know why you had boobs. I also don’t know what made you think I was gay.
I do wish I owned the lovely dress from the ’30s that I was wearing, complete with matching snood. And I want to thank you for being a gentleman, and loaning me your fur coat to wear when I became chilly.
Anyway, keep up the good work on the show and with Maroon 5, and I’m impressed with your new rapport with Christina.
Sincerely,
Beth
Observe and report 
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