Dear St. Valentine:
I understand we have you to thank for the most dreadful of all holidays. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. You were just hanging out, performing illegal Christian marriages, curing the random blind girl, etc. Then Claudius II got his panties in a wad and killed you in 269 AD. Of course he didn’t do it himself; he had someone else carry out the three-part killing of beating, stoning and decapitation. That must have been loads of fun.
But before you died, you had to go and write that note to the formerly blind daughter of your jailer, signing it “from your Valentine.” Way to go. Now it’s a “thing.”
Yes, I know that Chaucer had a hand in creating this holiday too. Apparently, no one celebrated this day until he wrote “Parliament of Foules” around 1375. He manages to link love with St. Valentine’s feast day–an association that didn’t exist until after his poem received widespread attention.
For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne’s day
Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate
So why am I so grumpy? I just think it is over-commercialized crap. It is a holiday that makes so many people feel awful. Unhappily single people hate it because it is a reminder of their relationship status. Many married couples hate it because it puts pressure on each person to get the “right” gift or make the “best” plans.
It’s a waste of money.
If you love someone, shouldn’t you show it every day of the year and not one Hallmark-dictated day?
Yes, I’m a Valentine’s Day Scrooge. (I do like those yummy conversation hearts, though.)
Sorry, V. It’s not you. It’s me.
Anyway, I hope you can rest in peace with all those people looking at your skull every day.
XOXO,
Beth
St. Valentine hangs around in his glass box in the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome (image courtesy of Rebecca Weldon)
Observe and report 
Agreed. Crapentine’s Day. The only time it’s acceptable to buy someone a horrific stuffed animal, sub-standard chocolate and flowers at 400% markup…. as a symbol of your “love.” Bah V-bug.
LikeLike
Exactly!
LikeLike