Dear Those of You Who Believe the World Revolves Around You:
You’re so vain, you probably think this post is about you. OK, it is.
Break out of your “me” zone and take this advice when you travel:
1. If you are standing in line and your nose touches my shoulder, you are standing too close to me. Back the eff up!
2. If it is clear that people in front of you are part of a family traveling together, please do not insert yourself into the group because you are anxious to get on the plane. Please wait just a hot second. I assure you that you will be able to get on the plane before it leaves.
3. Do not leap into the airplane aisles as soon as you hear that special ding. Again, just wait. You will get off the plane, I promise. Your decision to wait can save others from getting their feet stomped on and experiencing a face full of butt.
4. Learn the rules of walking. I can help with that. Read this.
5. Stand back from the baggage carousel. When you see your bag, you can move forward and claim it. If you huddle around the carousel, you impede egress and cause a jam. You also are likely to get whacked with a bag. (A consequence you would richly deserve.)
Let’s work together to make the world a better place.
Thank you for your attention in this matter,
Beth
Observe and report 
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