Dear Delta,
I thought we were exclusive. I thought you cared. But then you wanted a three-way with WestJet.
It’s not OK.
I’m monogamous. I’m loyal. I booked my trip to be with you.
But then you were all, “I have this big project in L.A. and I can’t take you to Vancouver. WestJet will take you.”
And WestJet is the college roommate whose tooth got knocked out in a bar fight. And he might have herpes. And toe fungus.
WestJet had a few screws loose — literally.
WestJet did not inspire confidence. WestJet treated me like some random person when I’m used to the special treatment I get from you, Delta, because you recognize how much time and money I spend with you. WestJet turned on the air and wanted to charge me for a blanket. Delta, are you listening to me?
Yes, I know: #firstworldproblems.
But I care about our relationship, and I want to make it work. Make it up to me: Take me out, treat me well, and we can forget this ever happened.
Deal?
Loyally yours,
Beth
Observe and report 
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