STOP: If you haven’t read “Sentenced to Church, Part I, Part II and Part III,” do that now.
My coworker invited me to her Christian church where I felt like produce at the grocery store. Each “Welcome, sister” was accompanied by a handshake, hug, shoulder rub, full-body squeeze or some such contact. I needed to be hosed down with antibacterial gel after the two-hour service, during which the minister asked me to stand and say something to the congregation. “Uh … thanks for welcoming me” was my impromptu speech.The day’s sermon concerned the way to heaven. According to the minister, the only way is to be baptized and join this particular church. That’s it. No other way. I wondered if you could still go one living a wicked life, but yet belong to the church and be OK.
This kind of information is important, because I think I’m pretty wicked in general. Plus, one of the tenets adhered to by the good folks at this church is that “Women are to learn in silence” and “They are not to teach in any capacity over a man.” I’m serious. It was in their bulletin. As I am rather a chatty sort, and I am employed as a college professor teaching both women and men, I think this church is not for me.
Up next: “What a friend we have in Jesus”
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