Dear America:
It’s almost your birthday, so I’m giving you the gift of information. This info might help answer a question I’ve been asking since I began traveling throughout the rest of the world:
Why do Americans resist bidets?
There are various commercials that address the perils of paper. Here’s one example:
And various products to help clean up your hazardous waste site:
But tissue is troubling in general. Why not solve the problem in a less wasteful way?
The French get it. The Japanese more than get it. You practically need a user manual, but your special bits will be spic and span.
Americans don’t get it.
And I don’t get that.
Everybody poops. EVERYBODY. (If you don’t, you have a real problem that I can’t solve.) Don’t you want to be as clean as possible afterward?
If you do, here’s a solution: Tushy. It’s an aftermarket, easy-to-install bidet. (NOT to be confused with the anal porn website in HD [!] that I found accidentally when looking for the bidet link.)
I’m happy to be a paid spokesperson if asked.
Come on, people. Let’s get it together. Save some trees. Save some septic tanks. Save your sphincters some friction.
Unless you are into that sort of thing. (And according to that website … nevermind.)
Yours in booty health and wellbeing,
Beth
Observe and report 
As a European, I can confirm that bidets are great. I’ll be honest, the first time I saw one (on a family holiday to Greece) I was confused as to why this drinking fountain was so low, but once I’d discerned the purpose I never went to the loo the same again.
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Ahaha! At least you didn’t think it was a urinal.
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