Dear British Signmakers:
I’ve enjoyed reading your work, but I have questions. Please clear up my confusion.
Zebra? That looks like a man to me. (BTW, it is supposed to be pronounced “zeeebrah,” people.)
Does that mean it is easy to get in? You’re inside like a smooth criminal? Is the opposite a lumpy or awkward entrance?
Why would you send me to use yet another toilet that is out of order? That’s what you mean by a “disabled toilet,” right? (Also, I know your establishment is called “Yo! Sushi,” but I think you needn’t be cute with the sign.)
Is it still a deal if you have to take a taxi back to your lodging? Or if you have to pay someone to hold your hair back? Oh wait … now I see the ampersand.
Who is eating fish in the bathroom? And what’s that other stuff? A can of spray paint? What happens in toilets in Oxford?
Do women in pubs really need all these face and hair potions? Wouldn’t it be good to have put some condoms in there too, as is offered in traditional vending machines? I would assume ‘girls on the go’ might want those. Equal rights and all.
You know I’m just kidding: I know what all these signs mean to convey. Just some light teasing from your odd American friend.
Love you!
Beth
Observe and report 
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