Why can’t this be me? (The sleeping, not the drooling, hair loss and whatnot)
Dear Sleep:
You and I used to get along so well together. What happened? What did I do to make you leave me?
Remember in college when my roommate would be so jealous of our relationship? Steph the Owl would be paired up with “David Letterman” while you and I were nuzzling peacefully.
I can still hang out with you anytime — except 3 a.m. apparently. That’s when you always make your exit.
To deal with my sorrow, I wrote a set of two haikus. (You know I’m feeling some kind of way if I resort to any kind of poetry.)
Standard bedtime? Yes.
My room is dark. The air? Cold.
No phone near my bed.
Unisom? You — no.
Chamomile tea makes me pee.
What am I to do?
Though being awake in the middle of the night is great for my writing (and this blog, btw), it’s not so great for my face. Luggage under my eyes, wan complexion, zombie eyeballs, etc. (So sexy, I know.)
So Sleep — old buddy, old pal — please can you stay with me all night?
I only want to see the wee hours on my terms.
Kthxbye,
Exhausted
Observe and report 
I know what you mean- I was up at freaking 4:30 am this week. Yawn
LikeLike
Dang. It sucks. And if you are me, you plan to go to sleep early the next night. It never happens.
LikeLiked by 1 person
One word. Hormones.
LikeLike
Sigh.
LikeLike
Welcome to my nights! I recommend buying The Sims and a subscription to Spotify.
LikeLike
Oh God. That’s my life now?
LikeLike
Maybe. Probably not. My insomnia is from a broken brain; you probably just need some Ambien.
LikeLike
But will I turn into Roseanne?
LikeLike
I very much doubt that. She had a genetic predisposition to being Awful.
Tell your doctor you need the extended release, because you’re having trouble STAYING asleep. I believe it’s in generic now.
LikeLike
Thank you. I actually feel better now: I have a plan.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And remember: It could always be worse. I’ve had insomnia since middle school, and a couple nights ago, I HAD to get out of I cozy bed at one am to organize my closet. This is why no man will have me.
LikeLike
Jesus.
I still love you — inopportune organization and all.
LikeLiked by 1 person