Observe and report

Dear Retailers Who Start Decorating for Christmas Around Halloween:

There’s a special place in Hell for you. Sorry, not sorry. By doing this, you skip over one of the most important days (well, what should be one of the most important days) of the year: Thanksgiving.

Despite its rather-odious origin, Thanksgiving provides a good time to take stock of your life and be happy for what you have.

Look, I’m not great at this. In fact, a quick check of this blog reveals I haven’t done this publicly since 2012.

While much on that list has remained the same, today I am thankful for these particular things:

Dear God. This fine creature is No. 7 on the list.

1. Friends and family who “get” me. For example, I am fortunate enough to have a spouse and at least one child who went willingly along as I planned a Thanksgiving trip (more on that later) and brought Hando. (The other child, not so much. He’s 13 and permanently cranky.)
2. The ability and inclination to travel.
3. Funny, wise and supportive work colleagues (you know who you are).
4. An endless supply of taxidermy (and related products) on the Internet and in physical stores.
5. The bacon-imprinted blanket Trish gave me. It’s the softest thing ever.
6. WiFi.
7. Jason Momoa, you sexy bastard.
8. Willpower to stay on a strict diet (22 pounds less of me so far, in case you were wondering).
9. Creature Comforts’ Athena, my favorite beer.
10. Apothic Red. It’s just an eminently drinkable red blend.
11. The fact that I’m clearly not an alcoholic, as I’ve been able to stay away from No. 9 and 10 because of 8.
12. Coffee.
13. Diet-sanctioned almond milk for No. 12.
14. Labeling of products in other countries (see photo below).
15. Leaves that change color.
16. Uno.
17. Airbnb.
18. Words with “ack” in them, like “slack,” “crack” and “tacky.”
19. “Dating Hautnah,” the German version of the British show “Naked Attraction” (and it’s on where we are traveling!).
20. This blog. I used to keep a journal, but I’ve updated my practice thanks to technology. Now I can document all my weird adventures and odd thoughts, and schedule them to post whenever. (A corollary: I am thankful for the readers of these strange musings.)

Re: No. 14. I’m not a mayo fan, but this labeling might make me reconsider.

My point is that there is not a direct line from Halloween to Christmas. If you need to divest people of their money, then you can play up the need to be thankful. Guilt is a great motivator.

Talking turkey for real,
Beth

* Thank you, Ariana Grande.