Dear Santa:
Thank you so much for being so generous with our household yesterday. We’ve tried to stay off the Naughty list, but you know it’s been difficult.
Though we liked all of our gifts, I think I appreciated the coyote skull the most. Some girls might want a sable slipped under the tree, but you know this one prefers other dead animal parts.
There were a couple of things you skipped over, however, so I’d like to be proactive on my list for next year.
Beth’s Christmas List 2019:
1. Patience. I have a 14-year-old son who has worn mine out. Just bring me a little to spare for those super moody days (his, not mine).
2. Abs. I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight, but these are still nowhere to be found. Don’t tell me I can find them at the gym. You’re Santa, and you’re magical.
3. A winning lottery ticket. I’m a good person; I promise I would do plenty of good things with the money.
4. A publishing contract. I’ve got two books in the works. At least send me an agent, please.
5. One hour with Jason Momoa. A better iPhone battery life. Like I said, you’re magical. Make it so, won’t you?
Thanks in advance. I’ll do my part by remaining on the Nice side.
Believing in you,
Beth
Observe and report 
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