How to have a great time in New Orleans around Mardi Gras without losing your money, mind or morals
By Beth, Bon Vivant
So you’re headed to The Big Easy, and you want to make sure your trip doesn’t end up going viral on social media for all the wrong reasons? I hear you. I’m here to help with a short list of DOs and DON’Ts:
DO:
• Go with a long-time friend who is very familiar with the area and has a hat you can borrow when you get cold.
Wendy, Beth and Wendy’s hat. And new bead necklaces. (More on those in a moment.)
• Fortify yourself with Char-Grilled oysters from Felix’s. (Don’t wait in the line for the inferior Acme across the street. And don’t wait in the Felix’s line on Iberville: Go around to the one on Bourbon.)
• Appreciate the wit of The Crescent City denizens.
• Take advantage of smaller parades when they pop up as you are walking down the street. People in the parade will force beads on you whether you want them or not.
• Blend in with the rest of the tourists at a packed dance place.
• Say “Oh HELL yes” when your long-time friend wants to go to the Chewbacchus parade, which features a multitude of Chewbaccas (Chewbacci?).
• Marvel at the coordination it took to get so many different groups on board — groups like the Leijorettes.
• Admire festive outfits.
• Make friends with law enforcement officials. You’ll want them feeling friendly toward you should you make any mistakes. (Not that I did. I was very well behaved. But Officer Cummings and I became chums anyway.)
• Sample season-specific cocktails.
DON’T:
• Sample too many season-specific cocktails. Or too many of any, really.
• Pay attention to certain calls for action. Everyone has a smartphone and social media account!
• Argue if anyone says the Saints got robbed (“Blow whistles, not games“).
Laissez les bons temps rouler, y’all!
Observe and report 
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