Dear Carnival:
It was so great to see you again. I’m sorry our three-family tribe cheated on you with Royal Caribbean.
It won’t happen again.
You have everything we want:
Comfy chairs where Edgar can nap, and Pat can play his games
Photographers willing to take unusual pics
Plans
Limited tolerance (for what, I’m not sure)
Maybe for Swedish girls throwing gang signs (?)
Places for Uno battles to break out
PLENTY of places
Places to play with children too
Even enough room to pay a push-up penalty if you are too loud while playing Uno
An unflappable wait staff
Exotic food liked smoked oysters with some kind of weird froth
Games designed to titillate while taking Edgar’s money
Elevators big enough for parties of 11
The ability to get intimate with sea life
And, most importantly, the chance for friends to get together and have fun year after year
There is only one thing we needed but couldn’t have: unlimited bacon.
Fix that, and we’ll love you forever.
Still, we’ll see you next year.
Wet, sloppy stingray kisses,
Beth
Observe and report 
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