Dear Brits:
Yes, I still love you. One of the things I like best, as you know, is your way with words.
While I was all up in your environs recently, I spent some time shopping. Let’s discuss what I found. It’s a little … odd.
“Cloudy” lemonade does not sound appetizing. Can you just stick with the standard noun?
Strong and punchy describes a boxer, not a cheese.
I appreciate that you are trying to get folks excited about the cheese, but I’m not sure I want “citrus hints” in my “zesty and crumbly” cheese.
This just sounds gross.
I get that the place is called “Moose Coffee,” but perhaps it would be best to remove the “moose” modifier for “flavoured & specialty teas” and “natural juice.” I don’t want moose-flavored anything, to be honest.
Now THIS is genius. It’s just a tremendous write-up. Good shout!
Thank you for all the joy you unwittingly provide.
Love and sloppy, wet and squirty American kisses,
Beth
Observe and report 
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