Dear Snails,
Thank you for giving of your slime to beautify mankind.
I was initially grossed out at your sacrifice.
After I saw this at CVS, I posted a pic with the caption, “Ew.”
Just EW.
Unlike your typical movement, the jokes came fast.
Others weighed in with testimonials.
So I decided to see for myself. It was indeed slimy. And cold.
The problem child has problem skin, so I suggested he try it with me.
He said he would if everyone else in the family would do it too.
He underestimated my powers of persuasion.
Snail mask, party of four
You can sense him seething through your secretion sheet.
Anyway. We waited 15 minutes.
Removed the mask. Rinsed. Examined the results.
Problem child reported no difference in his skin, and complained he could still smell and taste the sheet.
Adult male claimed to have softer skin and fewer wrinkles.
Youngest was happy to be included.
As for me, I have issues your ooze can’t aid. (Yes, I still have Hitch eye. I have a dermatologist appointment this week.)
Still, thanks for your service.
Yours in self care,
Beth
Observe and report 
Your photos brought out the 8-year-old in me because I could not stop laughing and squirming (internally) at the masked faces. 🙂
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Hahaha! Yay! Glad to give you a laugh.
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