Dear Reckitt Benckiser:
I really wish I had Loefflered up and bought your stock before Coronavirus came calling.
But I never felt the need to bathe in Lysol before.
Look. Listen. You can’t be too careful.
I’ve created an airlock downstairs. Everything coming into the house gets wiped down or sprayed.
The mail too.
Everything.
Even people.
Dominic came in after work. (Yes, he has a job at Publix. No, I’m not thrilled he is going. He informed me he needs the money to hang out “wit da boys.” He means online via Doom.)
Me (from the couch): Did you spray yourself?
Him (sighing): Yes.
Me: Even your back?
(Sound of a little baby spray)
So we are going through plenty of your product. And there is a shortage. You are aware. We all are aware.
I’m waiting patiently, but my supply can’t last forever, even though it seems like this pandemic will.
Wishing you a speedy resupplying process.
Your sanitizing sentry,
Beth
Observe and report 
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