Y’all:
I’m losing it.
I’m losing my mind.
I don’t know what day it is. Most of the time I can’t remember what month it is.
I used the wrong version of your/you’re in a text. I corrected myself before sending, but still.
It’s that bad.
I’ve finished Netflix. All of it.
I don’t want to watch TV anymore.
I don’t want to read.
I don’t want to cook; I’ve made enough food to feed everyone within a five-mile radius.
Now I’m setting goals that seem unusual even for me.
Look:
- Finish my Greatest Boy Band Songs Ever playlist.
- Make sure it features no more than two songs per band and is in chronological order by band.
- Learn the choreography to “Bye Bye Bye.”
- Wonder what happened to Color Me Badd.
- Do some actual research and discover some shocking behavior on the part of the worse-for-wear Bryan K. Abrams.
- Google the zodiac sign for Micky Dolenz. (He’s a Pisces. Of course.)
- Make an exception to Point 2 for One Direction because Harry Styles.
- Write a fan letter to Harry Styles.
- Cut off some of my hair to send to Harry Styles.
- Consider therapy to identify why I would do either of the two things above.
- Consider therapy to identify why I would do any of the things on this list, really.
MmmHMMM. Call me, Harry.Dear GOD. Who am I?
Send help.
Sincerely,
Beth, owner of a jello mind
Observe and report 
Leave a Reply