Recipe for Disaster
Ingredients:
1 night feeling a bit dizzy
1 slight cough
1 morning sore throat
1 article about a Texas family
Method:
Set the first ingredient aside for 24 hours. Then add the second ingredient. Set that mixture aside for another 24 hours. Add last two ingredients, and whip into a frenzy.
Place frothed mess that is surely COVID-19 onto a refreshed CDC website. Set a test timer for one week.
While the timer is running, think carefully about the ingredients.
Remember:
- The three sleepless nights leading up to the first.
- The fact that major construction is happening on the floor below the office where you’ve been spending many hours every day. (Hello, construction dust!)
- Sleeping on your back. Mouth open. Possibly snoring. (Gasp! No!)
- That only one of the ingredients is a common symptom of the ‘Rona.
- It’s pollen season. (Ohhhh. Riiiiight. Allergies.)
- And also you wear a mask every time you are in public, which is not often, AND wipe down and/or spray everyone and everything that enters the house.
Add a good night’s sleep and reminders to fermented stew.
Poof!
Toxic brew evaporated.
Observe and report 
Underneath this totally incomprehensible moment in modern history is something I cannot begin to wrap my head around (hence incomprehensible) and I suspect that’s true of a lot of us. I haven’t yet had either hysterical or actual Covid. But… This chart is great.
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Hysterical COVID. Yes! That’s how it felt!
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Keep us updated—just want to know you’re okay.
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Oh, I’m fine. I just had a moment. Thank you.
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