Dear New Airbnb Hosts:
Welcome to the club! It’s a good way to make some money, and the Airbnb platform usually makes life easy. Sometimes the guests don’t, though.
I advise you to set clear house rules. Here are mine:
Even then, I’ve had people leave:
- Frat-party levels of empties.
- Multiple bags of trash even though the chute is right outside the door.
- A weave.
- Dirty underpants.
- A burn mark on the bathroom mirror.
- The balcony door open with A/C, fans and lights on.
- Bleach stains on the towels.
- A pile of wet towels in the bedroom closet.
- Balcony furniture in the bedroom.
- Something orange and sticky on every surface.
- Cigarette stench that required days of airing out and a trip to CVS for three styles of air freshener.
Someone also left an unopened package of bacon, which did not upset me at all.
One thing I didn’t realize when I first became a host is that guests can be dumb. Really dumb. Like how-can-they-live-their-lives dumb.
Take, for example, the woman who is in our place now. She called me at 10 last night because she couldn’t figure out how to turn on the light in the bedroom.
I had no idea of the rarity of an overhead fan with a remote control that features a lightbulb icon.
🙄
But there is a different woman who has the honor of being the dumbest person so far.
Here is the full exchange (I didn’t leave anything out, except part of the map I sent):
She needs one of Bill Engvall’s signs. Right? Or am I just being mean?
Anyway.
Now you know better what you are getting yourself into as a host.
Good luck!
Beth
Observe and report 
I’m 99% sure I couldn’t do it. You must be better than me in ways that shall go undelineated.
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Haha! I was so proud of myself for not yelling at these women.
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She read it too fast, probably saw “right out of the apartment” not “to the right outside etc.” I made that mistake the first time I read it, too, so I’m pretty dumb… 😉
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No. But added to the part about walking distance …
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