Dear Dr. K,
Thank you for slicing open my son’s mouth and removing his wisdom teeth.
[Insert joke about a teenaged boy not having wisdom.]
I wish he could be smart enough to be a good patient. Sadly, he takes after his father there, not his rule-following, advice-following mother.
Put an ice pack on each side for 20 minutes the first day to reduce swelling?
No.
Take antibiotics three times a day?
Nope.
Brush teeth at least two times a day as usual?
Are you kidding? (Teenaged boys are gross.)
This is not the first time his teeth have caused me distress.
Luckily, I had the traditional loopy-after-surgery video to amuse me.
Note that he ASKED me to take this video so he could share it around.
Anyway, I’m sure he will be fine.
If not, we’ll be seeing you again very soon.
Best wishes,
Dominic’s mom/insurance holder/guarantor
Observe and report 
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