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We are Family* #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Parenting, Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 31, 2024| 5 Comments »

Dear Eddie,

Thanks for coming to Family Weekend to surprise Gideon. He loved having you here and being able to talk to you about his classes.

I love that we can still spend time together like regular people/parents even though we are divorced. It’s good for us and for our kids.

Gideon and Mikayla even ditched a Halloween party with their friends to hang out with us and play cards.

(And no, you are not the reigning Uno champ in anyone’s record book. Ask Uncle Pat.)

I was glad you were here this weekend for another reason: I got to see your reaction in person to this:

“Comedy” at its finest, amirite?!

(To all people defending him and the rally in general: Explain the joke. Tell me like I’m five how it’s funny and not offensive. And if it’s that he’s a “shock comic” that took aim at everyone, tell me why there weren’t any jokes about white people. Seriously.)

I could almost see the blood boiling beneath your skin.

One thing Trump didn’t do at the rally, surprisingly, was repeat his stupid claim that children go to school for gender reassignment surgery.

Trump’s team saved the lie for a text blast AFTER the rally. Great. Also, HOW did I get on their list?

Me: Can you imagine? The school wouldn’t even give Gideon a Tylenol for a headache without a note from me!
You: But yet they have surgery suites with doctors and nurses in one of the classrooms. Sure.
Me: And all within a school day! When teachers are buying supplies out of their own pockets. Right.
You: How can anyone believe this?

It was just like old times.

The good news is that Gideon is just like us.

After I texted him what I said to a high-school “friend” who called the MSG rally “patriotic” (the same rally that one of the speakers — radio host Sid Rosenberg — called “a Nazi rally“), he texted the following. (We all curse like sailors so I sanitized it for publication.)

Thought I’m a fan of his POV, I’d love some punctuation.

By the way, did I tell you that he sent in his request for an absentee ballot back in September and Georgia (specifically Chatham County) STILL hasn’t sent it? Same for Mikayla. He’s been calling to no avail. It’s maddening. And Georgia is a swing state too. SIGH.

Anyway, thanks again for coming. It was good to see you.
Beth

*Now you’ll be singing this all day.

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In the Navy* #SundayStories

Posted in Parenting, tagged , , , , , , on February 25, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Dear RDC Jarmon:

Thank you for leading my son. Dominic clearly looks up to you and credits you with helping him get through Navy basic training.

I guess I should blame you for my tears.

😉

To be fair, they were happy tears. And they were at an appropriate time: Pass-In-Review on Thursday.

I was so proud of Dominic. He was proud of himself too.

Dominic marches with his division.
See?! Proud.

What’s funny is that people have asked me if we are a Navy family — if that’s why Dominic enlisted.

“No, not really,” I’d say. Both of my fathers did a stint in the Army. Eddie’s sister too. My nephew was in the Marines. I have good friends who were in the Navy, but no family.

Then my mom sent this photo:

I was wrong. That’s my grandfather!

So Dominic comes by it honestly.

Now he’s in Coronado, California, for pre-BUD/S.

Yeah, Dominic wants to be a SEAL.

If anyone can do it, he can. He has the determination (read: stubbornness). When Dominic wants something, he will not rest until he gets it. (Trust me: I’m his mother. I’ve seen it.)

And when he does become a SEAL, we will have you to thank for helping him on his journey.

Thanks again,
Beth, a proud mama

*A classic.

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From SAV to RTC #TuesdayTraining

Posted in Parenting, tagged , , , , , , , on December 26, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Dear Dominic,

I’m so glad you were able to call me yesterday. It was the one present I wanted on Christmas, but didn’t think I’d get.

Hang on. There’s something in my eye.

OK.

I’ve sent three letters to you at Navy boot camp, and you had the nerve to tell Gideon on the call that you really wanted letters from him and your dad.

“Not that I don’t love your letters, Mom,” you said.

Sure.

And yes, I’ll send plenty of pictures of Vince. That dog misses you, for sure.

I do too.

It’s crazy that so much has happened since I saw you for Thanksgiving.

I mean … so much. The Monday after Thanksgiving, you passed another PST, got your orders the following week, and shipped out about 10 days later.

To be a Navy SEAL is a difficult path, and few make it. You are stubborn, though, and will follow through if it is your idea and something you want.

I’m proud of you.

I miss you.

I love you.

Hope to hear from you again soon. Be careful.

Love,
Mama

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Hot Hot Hot* #FarFlungFriday

Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2023| 2 Comments »

Captain’s Log, Day 5 (471 miles logged)

It was cold in Yellowstone last night. I was thrilled about that. We slept in and got a late start.

Our first stop was Old Faithful. We did not time it well. According to the online predictor, it wasn’t scheduled to erupt for another 90 or so minutes after we arrived. (I wish I had discovered the predictor before we headed out.)

So this is what we saw.
We made the best of it.**
Eddie most of all.

Our next stop was the Grand Prismatic Spring. We decided to do the overlook hike.

Totally worth it.

The rest of the drive to the West Entrance of Yellowstone was lovely.

Once again, Leo could not be fussed.

This cat. Lord.

He also completely slept through the bit of engine drama. We had gotten gas (again) and were back on the road. Suddenly, the cruise control failed, and I got an error message that said, “Service Advance Trak.” The ABS light also came on.

We pulled over, and I called Cruise America. Despite the rep insisting we had been buffeted by wind (we hadn’t) or driven with a wheel on gravel (nope) or made a sudden swerve (wrong again), he told us how to reset everything.

The instructions are below. And I’m not exaggerating.

  • Turn the ignition off and on again five times, waiting four seconds in each position.
  • Drive 40 mph for 2-3 minutes.
  • Turn off the ignition and back on again.

People, believe me when I say that NO ONE was more shocked than I was when it worked.

It felt like Monica’s guide to erogenous zones.

Anyway, crisis averted, we continued through Idaho.

We passed the Idaho Potato Museum, but we were running behind. I didn’t want to set up camp in the dark again. Also, no one else wanted to go.

Eddie: I have no interest in a potato museum.

Idaho makes Wyoming look like New York City. There’s nothing but potato fields, irrigation systems and dust.

And cancer-causing windmills. (🙄)

Idaho and West Oregon also are bereft of RV parks. We finally found one in Ontario, Oregon, that was basically just a hot-assed parking lot.

It probably would have been better to set up in the dark. It was 93 degrees at 9 p.m.

Gideon and I made the trek across the highway to the gas station to get water.

In Oregon, you have to pay extra for bottled water. So that’s fun. 🙄

(In theory, I’m in favor. In the reality of traveling in an RV with limited space to save bottles, I’m not.)

You also have to pay extra for delightful merch like this. 😉

It was our last night in the RV, so we celebrated.

We’re fancy.

The kids and I played poker, then called it a night. We had to get up early for the last push to my new home.

Tomorrow: The eagle has landed.

*One of my favorite songs by The Cure.

**Please admire my new shirt.

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Enjoy the silence* #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2023| 8 Comments »

Captain’s Log, Day 5 (80 miles logged)

I deliberately scheduled a limited-drive day. I figured we road warriors would need a break.

Merle in repose

The scenery from Cody into Yellowstone is SPECTACULAR. That’s why people make the trek.

Leo, of course, could not be bothered.

What a life.

On this journey, we have seen flora, but not fauna. So when we finally saw bison, we lost our minds.

Like Leo, the bison were completely unconcerned about our existence.

I really expected to see more critters. Maybe the rangers still have them locked up.

See? Dipshits abound.

We set up camp at the Yellowstone Fishing Bridge RV Park. We did laundry. Made lunch. Walked to said Fishing Bridge.

Gee, they aren’t related AT ALL. /s
Um …

Photos do not do this place justice. The word “breathtaking” doesn’t do it justice. Yellowstone is one of those places you really have to see for yourself.

But beware of sticky tar-like substances that resist removal efforts.
And birds practicing target practice.

I tried to upload my blog post, but service was spotty. Huge national park. Nature. Go figure. 😉

Dominic, a typical teenager, was bothered by the lack of connectivity.

“What am I supposed to do? ENJOY NATURE?”

All kidding aside, it is beautiful, and we did need to disconnect.

At night, we played card games. All was well.

Next: Old Faithful.

*I’ve always been a fan.

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This ain’t my first rodeo #WednesdayWandering

Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Captain’s Log, Day 4 (375 miles logged)

This is Merle the RV at home in the Rushmore View RV Park. Merle seems like he’s old, fat and sleeps naked. You’d never know that Merle came in under cover of night and rain.
Merle is basically parked in the lot for this place. Do NOT use a black light in any room.

We decided to eat breakfast in the thriving metropolis of Keystone.

Along the way, we saw more interesting chainsaw sculptures.

But we were there to see two much bigger sculptures.

Mount Rushmore
Crazy Horse

I did enjoy seeing both these monuments. However, my experience was marred by a few things:

  • The oppressive heat. Surely I must have lost 10 pounds in water weight from sweating.
  • People. The older I get, the less I like crowds. And as these are tourist attractions, there are many people there. I think one person out of five operates on one brain cell. So you get hundreds of people together, and you are bound to have a pack of idiots.
  • Flies. The house fly must be the South Dakota State Insect.
  • The admission price. It cost $35 to get into the Crazy Horse Monument. That would be a good price if I liked museums or movies about history. I don’t. The family doesn’t. I think we should have saved money and just driven by. But we didn’t.
This photo cost $35. 😉

We got on the road to Cody just after noon. Wyoming makes South Dakota seem wildly overpopulated.

There aren’t even any billboards!

It’s flat for miles, then suddenly there was a canyon.

Eddie to me, the driver: Slow down, please.

Me: It’s fine. It just feels weird from over there.

Him: The brake isn’t working.

Me (alarmed): What do you mean?

Him: The brake over here (gestures to the passenger floorboard).

We rolled up to the Cody KOA at 6:52 p.m. When I checked in, I found out that there is a free shuttle to the Cody rodeo every night during the summer.

A RODEO!

But the shuttle would be leaving at 7 p.m.

Eddie didn’t want to go, so he said he’d handle setup. The boys and I ran over to the bus.

You KNOW I wasn’t going to miss my chance. I haven’t seen a rodeo since I covered one in Ludowici, Georgia, when I was a TV reporter.

I was DEFINITELY more excited to be there than they were.

The only bad thing is that the clown co-MC’s jokes were SO OLD. For example:

What do OJ and that Bronco running around there have in common?

Neither one wants to go to the pen.

Yeah.

Still. A good time was had by all.

Coming tomorrow: Yellowstone

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Me so corny* #TuesdayTravels

Posted in Parenting, Taxidermy, Travel, Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 18, 2023| 4 Comments »

Captain’s Log, Day 3 (490 miles logged)

Get ready, people: This place has everything: saloons, Costner merch, a building decorated with corn, taxidermy (yay!), a massive jackalope sculpture, and an out-of-place T-Rex.

The first night in the RV went well. We had pride in a job well done, as we had never hooked up an RV before. It wasn’t hard at all. I was worried for nothing.

The RV is spacious. It should be at 30 feet long.

Everyone has a space of his/her own.

I’m on the converted dining room table. (The photo didn’t turn out.)

Leo, as you see, is everywhere.

He’s a bed-hopping whore. Leo, not Dominic. (I don’t think Dominic is, anyway.)

You may wonder why Eddie and I aren’t sharing.

Well, it’s because we are divorced. I know that may come as a surprise as I’ve never mentioned it publicly. It’s private.

It’s also obviously amicable, as we are on this road trip together (mutual choice). I mean, we were together for nearly 30 years. We are part of each other’s lives. We are coparenting. And we still like each other!

Anyway, we started in Onawa, Iowa, and made our way through South Dakota. So many things to see along the way.

Starting with this fine specimen at a rest stop.
80 mph speed limit!
Corn Palace!
Is it a gym? A theater? No, it’s a gift shop.
Want more info? Here you go.
We also stopped at 1880 Town.
This is the main attraction, apparently.
I don’t really care about the movie or Kevin Costner.

But I DO care about a cool Wild West town.

And that I have a son in jail.
That’s what happens when you raise criminals.
I also care about my new side hustle.

The saloon was a big draw. That’s where the refreshments were. No beer, though, which seems like a missed opportunity.

There also was live music.

“Live”

As soon as Gideon saw the performer, he said, “Yeah, he was born here.”

Unadvertised attraction: unfettered goat action

Our next stop was Wall Drug. There had been 423 billboards advertising it, including one with a command.

We did as we were told.

Narrator: They could have missed it and been fine.

I enjoyed the massive jackalope, but the rest was just shopping.
And bad animatronics.
And taxidermied bison.
And this. Just why?

We decided to eat at the Badlands Saloon and Grille. Sadly, our server, Mateo, had no sense of urgency regarding our food and hydration needs.

The delicious Mac and Cheese Burger nearly made up for Mateo.

Thanks to our extended stay in the restaurant, we arrived later than we wanted to the Rushmore View RV Park. We had to set up camp in the dark in the rain. (View? What view?)

Coming soon: Our gang pays a visit to George and his gang.

*This was on a T-shirt at the Corn Palace. Seriously.

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Settler’s rest #MoveItMonday

Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , on July 17, 2023| 4 Comments »

Captain’s Log, Day 2 (492 miles logged)

Loading the rest of the RV and double-checking that the house was empty SUCKED. That is why I looked like this:

RAGGEDY
I bruise easily, but still.

My mom picked up the boys from the airport, and I met them for breakfast for a last meal with her.

She had a present for Leo, considering he’s going with me to a very granola place.

Leo was NOT amused.

We finally got on the road around 10:30 — just two hours later than I hoped.

I’m glad I didn’t need the boys to stay up and keep Eddie and me company.

Eddie and I did see some interesting road sculptures.

And land of Trish.

But that’s about it.

We arrived at the Sunset at Blue Oasis RV park just before sunset. (Timing FTW!)

We set up shop.

Leo made it very difficult to organize anything.

Eddie and Gideon hit the pool while Dominic pouted. He’s addicted to Rainbow Six Siege (withdrawal is hard) and possibly some girl named Emma.

See Dominic sulk (right).

I made chili for dinner, but realized I had made a crucial error: I didn’t pack bowls. I only had one, so we made do, cowboy style.

Dominic said we needed to be listening to an old-time radio show, so he found a ghost-story podcast.

We planned to watch a movie, but exhaustion set in. It was a REALLY long day: Four states and nearly 500 miles.

Next up: South Dakota and the Corn Palace

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Highway to Hell* #SundayStories #RoadTrip

Posted in Home Sweet Home, Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 16, 2023| 5 Comments »

Captain’s Log, Day 1 (and lead up)

Movers came.

A ramp on my steps!

Car transport service came.

It was weird to watch my car drive away without me.

I packed the remaining stuff for the RV and worried about space.

The next day, the epic road trip started out fine. I had to pick up the RV in Kansas City, so I hitched a ride with my brother who was headed there for a gig.

Look at me with Lodell: fresh faced and ready for adventure.

Why did I have to get it in Kansas City? Good question. Cruise America doesn’t have any locations closer to St. Louis. It was KC or Chicago. Weird, but ok.

While on the way, Gideon was updating me on the flight. Allegiant flies direct from Savannah, Georgia, to Belleville, Illinois, (close to St. Louis) seasonally. No frills, of course. It’s a sky bus.

Despite my flight tracker saying they were en route and the Allegiant app saying they were on time, they were delayed. No explanation.

According to Gideon, for a moment, it looked like they were going to board. But then, the flight was canceled. No reason given. No attempt to reschedule: Sucks to be you; we’ll give you a voucher.

The next flight out on any airline that would get them there that night was $1,319 per ticket.

Mama ain’t got that kind of cash.

Survey says: Delta for $259 the next morning.

I arranged all this while sitting on a stack of furniture pads in the RV place that doubles as a UHaul rental center.

So that was fun.

They headed home. So did I.

Despite being 30 feet long, the RV is easy to drive. It’s not cheap, though.

Yikes. That’s about 10 miles per gallon.

What I had been counting on was having help loading the beast for the trip with everything the movers didn’t take.

Thar she blows!

But that wasn’t the case. My next-door neighbors took pity on me and helped me with some of it.

I organized as much as I could before the heat melted me like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Next up: The adventure begins. For real this time.

* Of course.

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Oregon Trail: Now With Less Dysentery (I hope) #SundayStories

Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 12, 2023| 3 Comments »

Dear Readers,

In about a week, I’ll be on the road again. While Willie just can’t wait, I am not similarly excited.

I will be embarking on my sixth move in as many years.

This time I am headed to Oregon. A university there made it very worth my while.

So I’m packing up AGAIN. This time, I’m hiring movers to help me. HOWEVER, moving still belongs in the first, fifth and seventh circles of hell.

And while I’m leaving much of it to the professionals, I still plan to move some personal things, things they won’t take (my wine!), and this guy:

I’m renting an RV to make the cross-country trek with Eddie and the boys. I’m hopeful it will go more smoothly than that other trip we were supposed to take in an RV.

There are a handful of states I haven’t visited, and most of them are in that upper chunk of the United States. So here we go! Adventure awaits.

I’ll be sure to tell you all about it.

Wish me luck (and retained sanity)!
Beth

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