On Jan. 6 and afterward, Auntie Beth saw loads of people trying to compare the Capitol event with the Black Lives Matter protests.
So let’s break down the concept of false equivalency.
Why might a comparison not be a fair one? There are two big reasons:
The comparison notes similarities but not differences. For example, I listed three major protests. They have in common inciting incidents — the election of Donald Trump, the killing of George Floyd and the 2020 election — and that they were all protests. But there are major differences: number of people protesting, nature of inciting incidents, amount of violence, number of arrests.
The comparison ignores magnitude and/or nature of difference. The number of arrests in BLM versus MSA is huge. That would indicate that the BLM protests were much more violent than MSA. Were they? Or is there something else at play? According to a recent study, it is the latter. Police are three times more likely to use force against left-wing protestors than right-wing. Arrests follow.
In the Facebook examples above comparing BLM to MSA, it is not accurate to identify “Democrat” response to BLM versus MSA as hypocrisy. That is false equivalence. Why? Three reasons:
Peaceful assembly is a First Amendment right. Nancy Pelosi, etc., can call for protests just as Trump, etc., can. Calling for violence is a completely different thing. (Also, please note that the remarks in the meme are missing context. And let’s also note the peacefulness of the Women’s March. That’s how you protest, folks!)
Democrats did not condone the BLM violence. In fact, many spoke out against it, including Biden.
The underlying reason for the protests is markedly different. The BLM movement began because police killed black men. The MSA protest began because Trump told a lie about a “stolen” election. We can agree to disagree on approaches, but facts are facts: There is no evidence of election fraud. Plus, death ā fraud, asking for power ā displaying power.
Believing in conspiracies like that has consequences. Look at this slide Auntie Beth took from a recent talk on child trafficking that she attended.
See that second point? People drawn in by conspiracy theories took away from services for actual victims. (Educate yourself here.)
Y’all, Auntie Beth would like to remind you of the concept of Occam’s razor: The simplest explanation is likely the right one.
So you can believe in a vast pedophilia ring led by Tom Hanks, among others, or just freakin’ NOT. (Auntie Beth cannot believe she had to write that.)
You can believe that local, state, national and international forces banded together to “give” Biden the win, or you can believe that more people voted for him than voted for Trump. (I mean, just think about the former. All those people can keep a secret? Please.)
I know you don’t need my thanks — you’ve got $5.3 billion to give you comfort — but I do appreciate you. Without you, there would be no Fortnite. And without Fortnite, I wouldn’t have had this weekend’s bonding experience with Dominic.
Dominic had his friend Dylan over (COVID bubble FTW), and Gideon was at work. They were playing something together, but Dominic died in the game. Dylan was still going.
Dominic, emerging from his trash heap room: Do you want to play Fortnite? Me: Me? Him: Yes. Me (shocked): Sure. Give me a few minutes. Narrator: She did not want to play Fortnite, but knew she likely wouldn’t be asked again.
Him: Don’t tell Gideon. He doesn’t like people touching his stuff. Narrator: She told Gideon the second he got home. The response? “You played Fortnite without me?”
He showed me what all the buttons on the controller did.
Him: Push this one to jump. Me: I won’t be jumping. Him: OK. Just look and move and shoot.
He helped me set up my avatar. There is a mind-boggling array of choices. It took longer to choose my getup than it did to play the game.
Once that was done, we started the game. He took me to a quiet place so I wouldn’t get killed while I was learning how to play.
I managed to pick up some weapons, steal a truck, and fix my arm after a storm.
Dominic gave me his medical kit.
Awwwww.
During all this, I heard Dylan through Dominic’s headset:
Dylan: Is she any good? Dominic: Yeah. She can run and follow directions.
Mostly, I followed Dominic. He was very patient. At one point, I said I liked the music that was playing.
Dominic: That’s not good music. That’s a bad sign. We need to get out of here.
The game didn’t last long. Someone sniped me while I was swimming across a lake.
Then it was time for Dylan to go home.
Dominic, coming in to shut off the game: That was good. Youāre a lot better than our father.
That made me feel all warm inside.
(Sorry, Eddie.)
So thanks, Tim, for creating something that led to a a few lovely moments with my prickly teenager.
As I told my friend and your “aunt” Sophia this week, laughs are in short supply lately. Luckily, I have you.
Let’s discuss one of your quirks.
Ever since you were little, you’ve had a thing about squeezing the bar soap until is a misshapen ball that no one wants to touch. You are 16 and still doing it. Why? I don’t know. You don’t know. But here we are:
Me to you: Please stop mangling the soap. Gideon to you: Why do you do that? You: I don’t know. Me: Well, there are fresh soaps in the drawer. You: I heard you say that, and I immediately thought, “Not for long.”
We all laughed. And as we were already laughing, I decided to show you a meme that had made me giggle all day:
So, of course, I brought up another meme that has made us cackle in the past:
True to form, we laughed so hard we started wheezing. I started doing that smoker’s laugh I’ve got, even though I’ve never been a smoker. (Friends, you know the one.)
Gideon even started laughing because we were laughing. So I showed him the meme that always gets him going:
It was a good night. Thank you for that. And for being you, even if you do maul the soap.
This is what he wrote while walking home from work.
Dear Parents of Teens:
It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.* Maybe you can relate.
If there is one thing my boys have been this week is a fantastic distraction from chaos in the Capitol.
Here are some vignettes that have amused me:
Dominic, lifting the lid of the pot on the stove: What’s this? Me: Turkey chili. Dominic: I’m using the slotted spoon so I don’t get as much liquid. Me: Why? Use the ladle there against the side of the pot to drain it off. Dominic: Too late. Me: (loud sigh) Dominic: I love you.
Me, eating too many chips a few days before I decided to begin my diet again: I’ve given up. Gideon: Haven’t we all?
Dominic, listening to ’80s music that he has JUST DISCOVERED like he’s some kind of musical Magellan: You know that piƱa colada song? Me: Of course. Dominic: How do they not have trust issues afterward?
Me, hosing Gideon down with Lysol as we come in the door: OK. Now do me. Gideon: OK Me, slipping in the spray on the floor: (high-pitched yodel) Gideon: So you turn into Michael Jackson when you nearly fall?
Dominic: Are they all back from Marshall’s? Me: “All” who? It was just your father and Gideon. Dominic: Gideon brought a posse into Publix. Three girls! Me: What? I knew about two. Who’s the third? Dominic: I don’t know. Me: Are you jealous? Don’t you have a girl? Dominic: Yes, I’m jealous. I’m all alone. [The girl] and I are on a break.
Dominic: Have you seen the home screen on Gideon’s new phone? Me: No! What is it? Dominic: His new girl. Me, yelling down the hall to Gideon: I bought you that phone. Now let me peep that girl! Dominic: (laughs like Muttley)
Me to our Alexa device outfitted with the Samuel L. Jackson voice: Hey Samuel, set a two-hour timer. Samuel L. Jackson: Two hours, Motherf—er. Gideon, from inside the bathroom: (laughs like Muttley)
Me, seeing Gideon has a bag of fruit: Why do you have that? Gideon: Remember? [His girl’s name] and I have a picnic date. Me: Oh right. Gideon: She wants me to meet her mom. What do I say? Me: Hello.
If you have stories to share — funny or not — please do.
Otherwise, I’ll be over here by myself, regretting my decision to do Dry January.
I’ve only been glued to the news five times in the past 20 years:
Sept. 11, 2001 (Al-Qaeda attacks)
Aug. 29, 2005 (Hurricane Katrina)
Nov. 1, 2016 (Clinton vs. Trump)
Nov. 3, 2020 (Biden vs. Trump)
Jan. 6, 2021 (Capitol riot)
Here are five things that struck me from No. 5:
Shocking lack of police presence. At the BLM protests this summer, you couldn’t swing a cat without hitting someone in law enforcement. Meanwhile, at the Capitol, folks were just waltzing around taking selfies with the one police officer who seemed to be inside. True story.
Rioters escorted out without being arrested. Again, this is very different from some of the BLM protests where people NOT BEING VIOLENT IN ANY WAY were arrested. Even new Georgia Senator Raphael Warnock was arrested inside the Capitol in 2017 for praying. FOR PRAYING. But breaking windows and walking around with a lectern? Go right ahead.
How the riot has divided Republicans. I have a number of friends who are relatively sane conservatives. They and I want the same things but have different ideas on policies and processes we need to get there. Then there are Trumpers. Guess which ones LOVED the insurrection. It should come as no surprise that the fellow who punched me in the stomach in sixth grade is part of the latter group. Why are we “friends” on Facebook? Good question.
Who wants to tell my sixth-grade bully that there is a big difference between yelling at someone on an elevator and STORMING THE CAPITOL AND DAMAGING PROPERTY? Also, the dude was arrested, so yes he is wrong.
It’s really not funny, though. People died. An important Federal building was trashed. National security was compromised.
As Americans, we have the right to have a peaceful Airing of Grievances on days other than Festivus. We do not have the right to destroy things and hurt/kill people. Those who do that need to experience consequences of their actions besides just being fired. Ten years for damaging government property (ironically, a Trump executive order) is a good place to start.
These folks couldn’t even wear masks while COMMITTING CRIMES. I hope they won’t be surprised when they get the ‘Rona. And you know they will.
Dear Readers, You all know how I love a good guest post. Well, my friend Revell — you know, my taxidermy partner in crime — wrote a doozy. Here is his end-of-year rant that he is permitting me to share. He echoes many of my same sentiments and is nothing if not authentic (edited slightly for format and references that might get him into trouble). You might agree with him, you might not, but it is a wild ride full of the F word (be warned). Enjoy! Beth
Just a Yearly Update By Revell
2020 … What the actual fuck? What even happened this year besides complete. Utter. CHAOS???
I donāt think I have ever been tested and pushed to this extent in my entire life, and I donāt doubt for a second the same for you! This may have been the most growth Iāve ever had in a single year or maybe as a human being in general.
This pandemic has had me question every aspect of my journey. Hereās a few key points I learned:
Hold on to your loved ones, celebrate life, and donāt EVER think twice about being 100 percent authentically YOU.
Donāt underestimate your personal power and know that WE REALLY ARE stronger in numbers.
Speak up for whatās right, call people out on their bullshit, keep friends close who also call you out on your bullshit, be held accountable, and donāt ever stop pushing to be a better person.
Being fired does not mean you were in the wrong or that you didnāt kill it at your job.
You can be in love with more than one person.
Mental health is real and you are not crazy.
Georgia is fucking BLUE!
Know your self worth, and donāt let people or corporations take advantage of you.
No matter how cute and adorable, small powdery moths are not your friends and will potentially eat everything you own.
Do not trust Nanna without a mask.
Love your family unconditionally, especially when they make it through COVID alive! FUCK — when YOU make it through COVID alive!
Dental care is still wayyyyyy too fucking expensive, and even when you try to be proactive about self care and the insurance money you paid into, you STILL get fucked! Well, unless itās your cat and every tooth needs to be pulled at the most inconvenient time possible. So yeah! FUCKED!
Give yourself opportunities to grow and make yourself uncomfortable.
When someone laughs at your dreams or ideas and tells you they are not possible, just prove them wrong.
Peanut butter and Ramen noodles will keep you alive in a pandemic.
Credit Karma is an app and also part of being an adult now.
White men are still the worst! Especially fuckin’ Boomers.
Bernie’s campaign was smeared by the Democratic Party … AGAIN!
This country was founded on slavery, and if youāre not jaded, youāre obviously. NOT. listening. Fuck a confederate monument.
Socialism means all we want is healthcare … in … a … pandemic! Weird right?
Iām a queer, loud, unapologetic abolitionist with no regrets!
Well, one regret: that antique mirror at that one estate sale I decided not to buy on my credit card with money I didnāt have. Def a regret!
Fuck fascists, centrists and the āAmerican dream.ā
Trans women ARE real women!
When youāre starving in pandemic, just EAT THE FUCKIN’ RICH!
Harry Potter is fucking canceled, and J.K. Rowling ruined my childhood! What a TERF!
Still bitter about Taco Bell not selling potatoes.
And who knew that Paris Hiltonās vote-or-die campaign had such relevance now in 2020. The reality is vote, or FUCKING DIE!
I hope you are better than 2020. (2020 can suck it.)
I’m not one for resolutions. I usually declare things I won’t do or won’t give up. Just to be contrary. (Look. Listen. Give me this one rebellious thing. That’s about the only one!)
Put up with less than I need/deserve/worked for, etc. I am not a āWelcome!ā mat. Mixed progress: I occasionally washed other people’s dishes and clothes, but I got better about calmly explaining what was bothering me.
Save money. Yeah, I know I should, but letās be honest: I wonāt. Success: I didn’t.
Stay home. I want to say āabsofākinlutelyā to adventures near and far. Dream scenario: I get paid to write about it. Fail: I think we all know what happened this year.
Continue procrastinating on my book. This is the year I finish it, write the proposal, and find an agent. If E.L. James can become rich and famous off her trashTwilight fan fictionwork, so can I. Fail: I did absolutely no work on it. Lack of motivation, thy name is COVID-19.
Lose more than just five more pounds. Iām calling that my āwine cushion.ā Success: I found a few pounds more of me. Pandemic pounds FTW!
Stay in this place with the small kitchen. When itās a pain to make things as fairly easy as Scotch eggs, itās time to upgrade. Success: We moved to a larger place with a slightly larger kitchen.
Ignore show suggestions from certain like-minded people. I resisted watching āKilling Eve.ā I was stupid. Success: I’m even taking suggestions from randos on Twitter. I’ve got some issues with “Bridgerton.” Who wants to chat about it with me?
Let people try to make me feel even slightly embarrassed about my love of bad taxidermy. Those uptight people can shove it. My obsession is Hando approved. Success: I let my freak flag fly this year to positive results.
Vote for Trump. Duh. Success: Duh.
Stop writing blog posts at least twice a week. Iāve been keeping this pace since April, so Iām pretty proud of myself. Success-ish: I was doing well until the holidays. I blame Netflix.
In 2021, I will not:
Take for granted the ability to hug friends, see a movie in a theater, see live music, eat in a restaurant, travel, go out without a mask, work out at the gym, etc.
Take for granted physical mobility. (This was the year I broke my ankle and damaged my rotator cuff. So that’s been fun.)
Lament a packed schedule of in-person meetings.
Ever get off political mailing lists, apparently.
Be able to wear real shoes again without dealing with discomfort. (I wore flip flops for six months straight.)
Any other year, this SNL sketch really would have resonated with me.
But this year is different. All my whiningbitchingcomplaininggentle nudging finally paid off.
Eddie and the boys did something great for Mother’s Day AND my birthday.
Not only did I get a balloon and presents to open (this is a big deal), but Eddie also apparently was paying attention when I said this to Gideon:
When you get further along in your guitar lessons, I’ll start playing drums again. We’ll start a band.
Eddie got me a drum kit for my birthday.
He didn’t really knew how to set it up, but BY GOD HE TRIED!
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It’s great, but we live in an apartment. His rationale was that if the leaf blower guy can do his thing every day, so can I.
Yeah, no.
Now I am looking for studio space.
Still, it’s a thoughtful, fun gift. Hella impractical, but appreciated.
This year, I feel certain my family will come through for me on good Christmas gifts. So I’m going to ask for more altruistic things:
COVID vaccines for normal people. (Certainly not for asshat politicians who spent months denying COVID, organizing super-spreader events and not wearing masks.)
On this day many years ago (we do NOT need to say just how many), you made a difficult decision. It was the right one for both of us.
Thank you for facilitating my exit from your life then inviting me back in this year.
It was a long time coming, right? I felt weird about searching for you while my adoptive parents were still alive, but I thought about you regularly. I often wondered if I ever passed you on the street.
Thanks to Ancestry.com, I connected with Cousin Laura, and she led me to you.
It may have taken a while, but once we finally talked, it was great — easy conversation from that first call.
And when I finally met you over Memorial Day weekend? Well. Let’s just say that so many things finally made sense. Dislike of raw onions? Love of cooking? Obsession with rocks and shells?
The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. In fact, it’s practically still on the tree.
Meeting my half siblings Kara and Lodell was so cool and illuminating. We were quoting movies within the first 10 minutes. Same sense of humor.
It felt like a missing puzzle piece clicked into place.
And that night playing Taboo with you, them and some of their kids? I looked around and realized that, for the first time in my life, I was blood related to everyone there.
That was a big moment.
When we got everyone together for Labor Day, it was overwhelming in a good way. Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews — all with the same open nature, genuine warmth and dry sense of humor.
And the boys love having “New Grandma.” Gideon told his friend the other day about this exchange:
You, telling me about the hotel room you booked for us: I took care of the first night.
Me, in a joking way: I said no!
You: But I said yes, and I’m your mother.
They thought that was great. I did too.
I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you this year. It’s one of the few good things that happened in 2020. My heart is full.
And I look forward to spending more time with you when the world gets back to normal.
Happy holidays. And thank you for making a difficult decision. It was the best birthday gift: my birth.
Observe and report 