Dear Mary,
Thanks for taking me up on my offer to show you around the Willamette Valley. It was a great mix of old and new for me!
New:
Thanks to Jason‘s inspiration, I actually suggested a “hike.” Thankfully, you and I were of the same mind.
Old:
Thanks for coming, and I hope to see you again soon!
Your friend,
Beth
*B-52’s of course.
Posted in Friends, Travel | Tagged Beer and wine, Food, Friends, Oregon, Out of the house, Pets, Sunburn, Travel, Vineyards, Willamette Valley | 2 Comments »
Dear Timothy,
I wish you weren’t the kind of person who would post things like this:
But sadly, you are.
You also posted this:
You dared me to fact check it.
Challenge accepted.
The claim: “Allowed 15m unvetted illegals into the country.” The truth: “Allowed” is the wrong word. (How can you “allow” if they aren’t vetted?) Regardless, the number of unauthorized immigrants in the United States is estimated at 11 million — about the same number it was in 2015. The number reached peak in 2007. You know who was president then? George W. Bush. A Republican. (Not sure if you hate Democrats or Biden or both, but I’ll reference presidents AND parties in this exercise.)
Side note: Are “illegals” taking jobs or are they lazy/living off services and/or drug dealers/rapists? Are they taking the drug-dealing jobs? I just want to be clear. Also, someone you love very much is a rapist and took a qualified-person’s job, so …
The claim: “Historic inflation crisis.” The truth: In Biden’s first year in office, the inflation rate hit 7 percent in 2021, which was a 40-year high, thanks to the pandemic, supply chain issues, the war in Ukraine, etc. The all-time high was 29.78% in 1778. Also corporations like Kroger behaved badly.
The claim: “Record high gas prices in all 50 states.” The truth: Hard to say if it was the case in all 50 states, but gas in general hit a record-high price in March 2022 — once again, thanks to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. It beat a record set in July 2008. Who was president? Our buddy Dubya.
The claim: “Record high consumer debt.” The truth: This is accurate. It goes up every year, and could be a complaint about every single administration. No doubt it will go up no matter who is president.
The claim: “Released terrorists into the country.” The truth: Hard to research/know about this one. Who are these terrorists? Maybe it comes from this Jim Jordan report saying 100 people on the terrorist watch list were let into the country in 2022. The Biden Administration closed a loophole leading to this. There’s a conflicting report saying 100 were STOPPED from entering in 2022 with 160 stopped in 2023. Here’s some general fact checking about immigration.
The claim: “Ukraine-Russia War.” The truth: Is the claim that the Biden Administration started it? That’s insane considering the conflict started back in 2014 with the annexation of Crimea. And it’s, you know, TWO OTHER COUNTRIES.
The claim: “Israel-Hamas War.” The truth: Same response as above in that Biden in no way started this war. The Gaza-Israel conflict essentially has been going on since 1967.
The claim: “Disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan.” The truth: HOO BOY. Both the Trump and Biden Administrations made big mistakes. Arguably one of the biggest was Trump releasing 5,000 Taliban from prison. One of those is Abdul Ghani Baradar, who is acting first deputy prime minister of Afghanistan today. Kind of a big deal.
The claim: “Violent crime skyrocketing.” The truth: False. A Pew Research Center report noted, “Both the FBI and BJS [Bureau of Justice Statistics] data show dramatic declines in U.S. violent and property crime rates since the early 1990s, when crime spiked across much of the nation.” Fun fact: The murder rate rose 30 percent between 2019 and 2020 — the largest single-year increase in more than a century. Who was president then? Oh right. Trump.
The claim: “Tried to jail political rival in name of democracy.” The truth: Is this a reference to Trump’s convictions? HAHAHAHAHA! GTFO. Trump, a rapist, broke the law many, many times. He should be held accountable like anyone else. This isn’t Biden’s doing. Trump did this himself.
The claim: “Lied to the American public about Joe’s decline.” The truth: I don’t even know where to start with this. Everyone gets older (“declines,” I guess). No need to lie about anything. It’s not like they hid his age. I love all the armchair physicians. Here’s what I do know: Running the country takes an administration (Executive branch) plus Congress (Legislative branch) with laws upheld by the Judicial branch. Biden’s cabinet supported him. Fun fact: Trump’s cabinet did not (and do not).
The claim: “Declared war on American energy.” The truth: How do you declare war on a quantitative property? Is the claim that the Biden Administration is trying to shut down or constrain energy companies? In fact, it is just the opposite: The United States is producing record amounts of oil, natural gas and renewable power.
The claim: “Record low test scores for K-12 students.” The truth: Which K-12 students? All of them? That’s impossible to know. Average test scores for reading and math for 13 year olds dropped since 2020 (um … pandemic, hello!). However, the science scores among 15 year olds is unchanged since 2018. Test scores in Oregon among children in grades 3-8 and 11 for English and math and grades 5, 8 and 11 for science show progress. So this claim needs to define terms/ages/states, etc., in order to compare apples to apples year over year.
The claim: “Most unpopular president and VP in history.” The truth: Among Republicans, maybe. Just kidding. This is completely false. You know who had the lowest “high” on the all-time approval rankings? Trump with just 49 percent. The president who had the highest high (92 percent) and the lowest low (19 percent)? Dubya, once again. Here’s a fun Gallup chart for all you visual learners:
Clearly, I missed my calling as a fact checker and researcher. (I wonder if Snopes is hiring.)
Here’s a list of just some of the things Biden and his administration actually did. You may not agree with or want all the things on this list, but these are the facts. No need to make up anything.
Anyway, Timothy, I know my work won’t change your mind. Maybe it will change someone else’s.
Your “friend,”
Beth
Posted in Politics | Tagged Bureaucrats, Complaints, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Facebook, Friends, Government, Media, Obsessions, Oregon, Pandemic, Peeves, Politicians, Politics, Rage, Reality TV, White people | 3 Comments »
Dear Friends and Family,
I’ve been in Oregon a year. I’ve had a visit from one friend. (Shout-out to Amber. Holla!)
Listen, I’ll make it worth your while. Here are some fun things we can do:
One thing is for certain, though:
Make your plans to visit me now.
Hope to see you soon!
Love,
Beth
Posted in Friends, Travel | Tagged Beer and wine, Family, Food, Friends, Oregon, Out of the house, Travel | 3 Comments »
Dear People Who Like to Share Wrong Information:
In the age of social media, I know it is hard not to share a chart or a meme that fits in with your world view/personal bias. I know it seems great in the moment, but I really encourage you to check your facts.
As we are in an election year, and people are foaming at the mouth, sharing misinformation is a real problem.
A couple of far-right friends shared a chart I found interesting:
It’s interesting to me because it looks great for your cause if you are a Trump supporter.
(Quick personal bias check: I am a Never Trumper. I’m sure most of y’all know that.)
BUT THIS CHART IS WRONG. I know it is wrong because I had recently done some research on gas prices.
(That people think the President of the United States controls the price of gas is insane to me.)
Anyway, I was motivated to get the real numbers, and I had some spare time.
I put together a spreadsheet. I hate Excel, so I need everyone to understand that this is a big deal.
In addition to providing the real data for the categories in the chart above, I added some other key info such as the global inflation rate, deficit and GDP. I also added the numbers for the last four years Obama was in office to give context.
I’m presenting it here without comment. These are real numbers, and I can provide sources for this data (non-media sources). Let me know if you want me to send you the spreadsheet with source links.
The bottom line: Educate yourself. Decide what is important to you. Vote accordingly.
Also, don’t share stupid inflammatory shit that is wrong. There is enough misinformation in the world without you adding to it.
Kthxbyeeee,
Beth
Posted in Advice, Politics | Tagged Advice, Bright ideas, Bureaucrats, Complaints, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Facebook, Friends, Government, Media, Obsessions, Pandemic, Peeves, Politicians, Politics, Rage, Twitter, White people | 4 Comments »
Hi y’all!
I’m back on my bullshit. And by that, I mean taking classes in some esoteric subject just for kicks.
This time, it’s wine. I completed the Wine and Spirit Education Trust Level 1 Award in Wines in May.
Now I’m on Level 2. This means I am learning about and sampling wine for three hours every Monday night for six weeks.
Sounds terrible, right?
Why am I doing this? Well, WHY NOT?!
I would not say I have a sophisticated palate when it comes to wine. I will say that it has expanded and developed over the years.
I used to limit myself to sweet wine (perhaps shaped by consumption of Boone’s Farm back in the day).
Then I spent a few months in the South of France. My arrival coincided with harvest season. I discovered Châteauneuf-du-Pape. Mmmm.
This week, we covered Riesling, Chardonnay and Sauvignon Blanc.
Chardonnay and I have not been friends. I have a theory that people who dislike Chardonnay also dislike IPAs.
(IPAs. Gross.)
What I have learned in this class, though, is that I don’t like Chardonnays fermented in oak. Give me stainless steel, please.
See? I’m learning.
I’ve also learned that my palate may be more discerning than I thought.
We tasted a zinfandel last week. We were supposed to taste notes of red fruits and black fruits.
OK, check.
Another student in the class said she tasted meat.
Alright, Jill. Calm down.
But maybe I’m the weird one. After all, one wine did taste like chicken bouillon to me.
I’ll know more in a few weeks. Yet, I’ll never know as much as folks in the “Somm” documentary.
I was planning on just being happy to pass the eventual test. But I’ve learned that it’s possible to pass with merit (75+) or distinction (85+). Great. Now I have to study.
Wish me well!
Beth
Posted in Education | Tagged Beer and wine, Bright ideas, Obsessions, Oregon, Out of the house, White people | 2 Comments »
Dear Philly:
It’s been YEARS since I’ve been in your environs. But you are where my annual journalism educators conference was held.
I think I like you better than I did when I was last here — about 15 years ago. And I liked you then.
You have history:
Pop culture:
(Here’s a hint if that means nothing to you:)
AND plenty of cool new things to do. Like the Cauldron Bar, where you can make potions.
I love themed things like this.
My fellow witch and wizard discussed creative evening options available now during our concoction brewing.
I want to DO things when I go out: sing karaoke, try to dominate at trivia, play darts, suck at pool, do an escape room, trash talk during mini golf, murder someone at Skee ball. I don’t want to sit around at a bar.
There are more places cropping up where you can do these things, and the focus isn’t on drinking.
Philly, you even have Karaoke Taxi.
Whuuuuut?!
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
Anyway, I had a great time. Thanks. I’ll be back. I’m def an East Coast girl.
Also, you have Dunkin’ Donuts, so …
Love ya!
Beth
Posted in Travel | Tagged Beer and wine, Bright ideas, Food, Games, Out of the house, Travel, White people | 2 Comments »
Dear Yamhill County Fair,
You have everything I would expect in a county fair:
Rides assembled and operated by ex convicts
Parking in a field
Odd signs (“shave ice”)
“Food” in the form of corn dogs and funnel cakes
White people in overalls
You also have some things I didn’t expect:
And Sir Mix-a-Lot.
Thanks for an interesting time!
Beth
Posted in Cultural differences, Random | Tagged Chickens, Country music, Food, Friends, Obsessions, Oregon, Out of the house, Outfits, Politics, Rednecks, Signs, Sports, White people | 3 Comments »
Dear Wrexham Women:
I’m a fan. That’s why I badgered my friend Jason into seeing you take on the Portland Thorns on the Wrex Coast Tour.
But it wasn’t the Thorns. It was the Thorns Academy. Like high schoolers.
Should have been an easy win, right.
Yeah, not so much.
When we left (early, because we are old and wanted to “avoid the crowds” as our dads used to say), you were down 4-0. One goal happened because your goalie was way out on the field.
I was, as the kids say, SHOOKETH.
It’s like you had never played the game before.
But I know from “Welcome to Wrexham,” that you are really good.
So WTF?
Did you want to save yourselves an injury? Didn’t work. No. 10 left with a knee issue.
What was the purpose? You didn’t get new fans, and current ones were disappointed. (It was a wreck and then some. Wreck-some. Har har.)
Good thing I didn’t really care about the game.
I cared most about hanging out with Jason. We had a great time! Just look:
We’ve been friends for more than a decade, but are now up in each other’s business because we live in the same place again.
(Side note to Jason: our friendship is over if you send me that lactation pod photo again. 😂)
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your jaunt on the West Coast.
Maybe I’ll see you on your home turf someday and be impressed.
Sincerely,
Beth
*Hank, of course.
Posted in Friends, Random | Tagged Bright ideas, Friends, Oregon, Out of the house, Sports, White people | Leave a Comment »
Dear Summer,
Listen: I know plenty of people like you. We were all conditioned to like you because that is when we finally got a break from school.
But imma** be real with you: I hate you. You can GTFO.
I don’t like to sweat. It’s why I prefer exercising in the water.
I don’t want to lie in the sun and bake.
I’m not a fan of wearing shorts.
I moved to the Pacific Northwest where I was promised clouds and rain.
Yet here you are, Summer. Coming in hot.
Literally.
It was above 100 degrees for a few days last week.
My office is on the third floor of an old building with no air conditioning.
My house does not have central air.
Many places here do not have AC.
Why? It was never needed.
For you MAGA idiots who “do your own research” squawking that climate change isn’t real, let me tell you something:
I have a degree in meteorology. For real.
(Ok, I’m breathing. Deep breaths. In with the good air; out with the bad.)
Anyway, no air.
When I got here and noted this travesty, people said to me, “But Beth, you are from the South!”
Yes, and we have air conditioning everywhere. In fact, the AC is so strong that you keep a sweater in your car just in case.
Not here. I even took the usual sweater off my naked cat so he could stay cool.
It’s not over yet. Tuesday will be hot too.
And I remember last year when we had 107-degree temps for a week in August. Fun.
So, Summer, please go. Fall, you’re the one that I want.
Kthxbyeeee,
Beth
*Glenn.
**Stealing from kids today.
Posted in Home Sweet Home | Tagged Atlanta, Complaints, Death, Nudity, Oregon, Out of the house, Outfits, Peeves, Politics, Rednecks, Savannah, Sunburn, White people | 7 Comments »
Dear Rick Coffey:
I had never heard of you before a month ago when my work friend Yu-Shan asked if I wanted to go to one of your events.
I often say “yes” to plans because I know I need to get out of the house (and I do like to try new things).
Then in true introvert-in-training style, I have regrets when the day arrives.
Anyway, I went.
Sir, you’ve created a cult.
I was immediately horrified that I was going to have to try dance fitness with all these people — people who were stretching!
I’m still scarred from Zumba.
Fun fact: I’m not super coordinated.
I do love line dancing, but that only involves two appendages. If I have to involve my arms, that’s a problem.
It’s why I didn’t make drill team or the cheerleading squad.
I expected you to go through the steps, and I would enter a period of self loathing.
But it was a free-for-all in the very best way. There were 100+ people there, and no one was looking at anyone but you and your squad.
And you aren’t what I expected to look at. For someone who now makes a living leading dance fitness classes, I was surprised to see your dad bod.
And thrilled, if I’m honest.
Fitness comes in all sizes, and there was no shame on display. It was fantastic.
I kept up with the moves to hits like “Country Grammar,” “Thong Song” and “Lady Marmalade.”
By “kept up,” I mean “remained alive and upright.”
My Apple watch gave up. The shock of me doing cardio was too much.
My phone, which was in my pocket, refused to record my efforts.
Even my underboob sweat had sweat.
You have a catch phrase — “evolve unapologetically” — and were selling merch emblazoned with it. But it was this one that caught my eye.
I was a solo artist, for sure.
Was it good for me? Yes.
Did I enjoy it? As much as I could.
Will I go back? Maybe.
You know who did love it? My cute, energetic, fit friend.
Ultimately, I’m impressed by you and your operation. Totally worth the $25.
My padded hide and I thank you.
Sincerely,
Beth
*Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
Posted in Music, Random | Tagged Aging, Bright ideas, Fat, Friends, Music, Oregon, Out of the house, Pop Music, The Gym, White people | 6 Comments »
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Observe and report 