This person needs a "tutor" for English too. Or maybe he DOES want a member of 16th-century English royalty.
I'd rather have an "omelet" or an "omelette."
"Eat of it," meaning the animals will just sample whatever someone tosses in? They are more likely to eat the whole darn thing.
Belk's sign maker needs a crash course in possessives.
No mistake here. I just want to let you know that Zumba is apparently not allowed.
Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged Apostrophes, Definitions, Signs, Spelling | Leave a Comment »
I have been woefully slack at creating new content for this blog. I apologize.
I’m overwhelmed with possible topics:
And the ever popular topic
My head is exploding with the possibilities. So, I’ll make it interesting and entertaining by posting images of signs and notices sent to me by my fabulous friends.
From Chad:
For your convenience, software programs offer spell check.
From Kevin:
Please experience a moment with a dictionary.
From Royce:
So is the pro shop apologizing or not? Perhaps they should apologize for mistaking the question mark key for the period.
Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged Academics, Requests, Signs, Spelling | 1 Comment »
Mike Judge is starting to look more and more like Nostradamus; his “Idiocracy” is akin to “The Prophecies.”
You need evidence that we live in a society that is shunning intellectual curiosity and social responsibility? You must not have watched any of the debt debates.
There are other signs all around of our declining intellectual ability. Literally.
Here’s one offered by my friend Lisa, who was mortified to find this at her son’s school:
God forbid the "parnet's" forget eggs on "Wesdnesday." That might be the day they also learn about spelling and apostrophe usage.
Royce provided this selection from the Savannah Morning News:
Maybe a "cachier" is a new term for someone who helps with a cache of coupons.
I saw this during my recent jaunt to Jacksonville:
I wonder if the new ownership will extend care to people of other faiths too.
Karla was amused by this entry in a cabin’s guest book:
It's clear they don't quite have a handle on our "human words." Ah, the intricacies of adverbs, adjectives and verbs.
And finally, from Elyse, here is evidence of a desperate attempt to sound important — an attempt office workers see on a regular basis:
Somewhere the word "use" is weeping quietly.
Sigh.
Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged Apostrophes, Bright ideas, Media, Politicians, Signs, Spelling | 2 Comments »
Facebook is a fascinating petri dish. Where else can you find people from all aspects of your life hanging out, sharing information and ribbing each other?
Facebook makes it possible for people to have exchanges like this:
Granted, as evidenced above, typed words and computer protection can make people say things they might not say in person, but the positives outweigh the negatives, I think.
By having friends across the spectrum, it helps ward off news insulation where you are only exposed to that with which you agree. It only works, though, if you don’t censor your news feed.
Here’s a sample of the interesting and varied people I am friends with on Facebook:
I love these people. I love all my Facebook friends. I am constantly amused, amazed and informed by what they post.
Sure, there are a couple of people on there who also drive me crazy with their passive-aggressive or alarmist status updates. And though I try to be a little selective about the people I connect with on Facebook, there are a couple of people on my friends list whom I don’t think I actually know.
That would be OK with one woman I know. This person is some kind of friend collector. Are you friends with both my husband and me? Expect a friend request. Have you breathed in her vicinity? Friend request. Breathing in general? A request is on the way.
That seems weird to me, but maybe I’m the weird one. Thoughts?
* This is an odd little story I’ll save for another time.
Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged Facebook, Pets, Spelling, Students, Trish (the chicken), Trish (the human) | 8 Comments »
As I mentioned in my last post, I taught a creative writing workshop at a community center in Jacksonville last week.
Ages: 9-13
Hours: 9 a.m. – 2 p.m.
Days: Monday – Friday
Me: Completely wiped out
There’s a huge difference between teaching 9 year olds and teaching 13 year olds, and there were three of the former and two of the latter in the class — all girls.
I felt like some kind of lion tamer.
The younger ones wanted to stand on chairs, draw princesses, and talk about Justin Bieber. The older ones wanted to actually work on writing (and smack the younger ones).
You might be surprised to learn that I’m glad I taught the workshop. It was truly a learning experience. You know, the whole “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” philosophy. (Thanks, Nietzsche!) I definitely learned some new skills, which is always good.
And the girls really were fun. A couple of them have promise as writers, and I hope to see their work again.
So, I wouldn’t mind teaching it again next year, but we’ll need to put in some different age parameters, of course.
Maybe, if I’m lucky, it will be a scene out of a “Normal Rockwell” painting. (Thanks, Chris!)
Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged Bright ideas, Kids, Media, Spelling | 2 Comments »
It should come as no surprise that I’m not interested in “normal.” I like quirks.
So the little venture I’ve taken out of town this week is right up my alley.
I agreed to teach a summer creative writing workshop for 9-13-year-olds in Jacksonville, Fla. You’re shocked, I know. More about the teaching experience later.
The community center that is sponsoring the workshops offers housing at Casa Marina, a 1920s hotel. When Denile checked me in, she described the room in a grand way: ocean-view room with a queen-sized bed and separate living room. Sounds divine! I opened the door, and this is what I found:
Granny's parlor?
I told Eddie the place might be haunted. Really, though, it is cool to stay in a place so different from the average sterile business hotel. This place has character. In spades.
It fits in with the whole odd nature of Jacksonville Beach.
The Casa Marina is a historic hotel on the beach.
View of Casa Marina from the beach
Guest enjoy this view.
Jacksonville Beach
However, this is what is on one side of the hotel, just over the dunes from the beach.
Empty lot, Jacksonville Beach
Yep. An empty lot. One that has clearly been empty for a while.
And there’s this across the street from the empty lot:
Empty building, Jacksonville Beach
Don’t the owners know that this is prime real estate? Beachfront property is a finite resource.
Build it and they will come. I’m sure of that.
After all, as I found out tonight, Casa Marina is a hotspot for the AARP set on Wednesday nights.
Wednesday night at Casa Marina
Denile, my new friend at the front desk, told me the party lasts until 10. As my room overlooks the courtyard, I’ll be entertained for hours by the whoops and hollers when the band plays classics such as “Sweet Home Alabama.”
This is the kind of stuff I live for, though. If something great happens, then that’s lovely. But if something unexpected happens, that’s even better. Why? It makes a great story.
Posted in Random | Tagged Bright ideas | 4 Comments »
Just when you thought it was safe to read my blog again, I bring you more photos from the Redneck Games!
(Hey, I allowed a few days for your system to get back to normal after Sunday’s post.)
Sarah shows off her "arsenal of hydration." *
Bursting with excitement, I lead the way to the festival. (Photo by Royce)
Bikinis and boots: A fashion trend sweeping Dublin. (Photo by Royce)
Muscular men and jorts go together like peas and carrots (or twigs and berries, as the case may be). And white velcro shoes too? Mmm ... tasty!
Feast upon this buffet of manflesh and be disappointed you did not get to use your own looking holes -- er, eyes -- in person.
Nothing says "redneck" like a freshly dug mudpit for bellyfloppin'.
Ol' Dixie also makes a great beach towel.
I actually wanted to compete in this event. They didn't draw my number. I wept. (Or maybe that was just sweat.)
Nothing like a "sovienor" cup to commemorate the day.
If you are thinking about attending next year’s Redneck Games, you should know this:
See you all next year!
* Heidi gets the credit for this term.
Posted in Random | Tagged Beer and wine, Bright ideas, Media, Rednecks, Signs | Leave a Comment »
This week I submitted the final version of my dissertation and the corresponding paperwork. One of my first activities as a new Ph.D.? Attend the 2011 Redneck Games.
Allow me to take you on an amazing journey with this gallery of images.
Redneck living room
Redneck Granny comes over for a chat. A long chat.
Awaiting the lighting of the ceremonial torch
Posing while awaiting the lighting of the ceremonial torch
Lighting the ceremonial torch
Let the games begin!
Enjoying the view.
Royce enjoys himself.
Redneck Snooki
Redneck Snooki performs.
Jack Sprat and his wife
"Germany Sucks"
Redneck rump shaker
Redneck horseshoes
Royce seems intrigued while Sarah seems perplexed.
John and Heidi are mystified. Or sleeping.
Jeff Vaughan and his moonshine.
One of many interesting tattoos
Tiffany must be so pleased.
What?
Yeehaw.
Jorts are never a good idea.
Armpit serenade
Redneck Riviera
Redneck water slide
Sarah partakes in riverdancing.
It's really too hot for a Dixie duster.
Crack kills.
Sigh.
Bobbing for pigs' feet
See other comment regarding jorts.
On our way to get a second round of "sno-cones."
The Man of Steel and his buns of puff pastry
Dixie overload
It is important to know your true size when you shop.
See comment regarding clothing sizes.
Redneck Granny needed a nap.
Posted in Random | Tagged Beer and wine, Bright ideas, Rednecks | 11 Comments »
No Fourth of July celebration is complete without a visit from the Po-Po. Usually, the Po-Po visit the neighbors across the street. But last night, we earned a talking-to.
We have become “The Other.”
Why?
This (and its ilk):
Friends from Florida and relatives from South Carolina brought some treats from their respective states. Unfortunately, these treats are not allowed in Georgia. Georgia is OK with sparklers and “non-explosive and non-aerial” types of pyrotechnics.
Um … well … that’s not what we had. The polite young deputy sheriff who suddenly appeared at our fence was kind enough to remind us of Georgia law.
It didn’t matter that our neighbor (“Big Screen’) had launched a River Street-style display the night before. We ceased and desisted, much to the dismay of our pyro-leaning progeny.
Clearly, the transformation is complete.
Posted in Random | Tagged Bright ideas, Rednecks | 2 Comments »
Today I saw two signs that merit a mention.
No separation of church and state in Bloomingdale.
Hmmm ... this could have a different connotation.
Posted in Random | Tagged Rednecks, Signs | Leave a Comment »
