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A T. Rex tale

May 6, 2010 by Beth

I love Thursdays because on Thursdays I get folders from my children’s teachers that have work from the past week. It is the day I read Dominic’s stories. And I laugh and laugh. I hope you will too.

“The Dinosaur Story” by Dominic

Once upon a time there was a T. Rex. Me and Gideon and my daddy and Mona were hunting for dinosaurs.* We saw a T. Rex. We ran because it was hungry to eat humans. Then we saw a Euoplocephalus. We petted it. We rode on the Euoplocephalus and its tail hit the T. Rex’s leg and it fell down. We said, “Are you going to be good, T. Rex?” He said, “Raa Raa!” We rode back home on the T. Rex and gave it meat.

Mona, the T. Rex and a tree that needs water

Yes, he used the word “Euoplocephalus,” and he knows what one looks like (although he did not draw it). It is clear he is my son, and fellow lover of words.

*Note: He informed me that this is just pretend because humans never lived with dinosaurs.

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More words I love

May 5, 2010 by Beth

I love so many disease names. I’m very interested in medical things in general. “Trauma: Life in the ER” is a great show. Definitions courtesy of Merriam-Webster.

Scurvy: a disease caused by a lack of vitamin C and characterized by spongy gums, loosening of the teeth, and a bleeding into the skin and mucous membranes
It makes me feel like a pirate when I get a chance to say it.
Example: It looks like Austin has a bad case of scurvy.

Narcolepsy: a condition characterized by brief attacks of deep sleep often occurring with cataplexy and hypnagogic hallucinations
I also like “narcoleptic.”
Example: The professor worried that Daniel had narcolepsy.

Scabies: contagious itch or mange especially with exudative crusts that is caused by parasitic mites (especially Sarcoptes scabiei)
You don’t really hear about cases of scabies very much. That’s too bad. I really like the word.
Example: Charlotte woke up the next day with a hangover, scabies, and a guy named Nate.

Rabies: an acute virus of the nervous system of mammals that is caused by a rhabdovirus (species Rabies virus of the genus Lyssavirus) usually transmitted through the bite of a rabid animal and that is characterized typically by increased salivation, abnormal behavior, and eventual paralysis and death when untreated
Similar to scabies in that I really like the sound of the word. I also like “rabid.”
Example: “Now I’ll get rabies!” Jenny screamed after she was attacked by a rabid weasel.

Chickenpox: an acute contagious disease, especially of children, marked by low-grade fever and formation of vesicles and caused by a herpesvirus
It has nothing to do with chickens. The virus hangs out and can later cause shingles.
Example: Becca was convinced her daughter had chickenpox.

Leprosy: a chronic infectious disease caused by a mycobacterium affecting especially the skin and peripheral nerves and characterized by the formation of nodules or macules that enlarge and spread accompanied by loss of sensation with eventual paralysis, wasting of muscle, and production of deformities
You just don’t hear much about leprosy anymore. I also love the word “leper.”
Example: Kristine felt like a leper as she endured the bachelorette party at Deja Groove.

Gingivitis: inflammation of the gums
It’s just a fancy way of saying, “Yuck! You need to brush your teeth more often!”
Example: As soon as he opened his mouth and Elisa noticed his acute gingivitis, the blind date was over.

Halitosis: a condition of having fetid breath
If I like “gingivitis,” you know “halitosis” can’t be far behind. I also like “fetid.”
Example: Andrea could smell Elisa’s date’s halitosis before he even spoke.

Angina: a disease marked by spasmodic attacks of intense suffocative pain
It sounds a bit saucy, but it is not.
Example: Cameron claimed she had an angina attack to get out of the ad workshop.

Fasciitis: inflammation of a fascia (as from infection or injury)
It is just fun to say (though clearly not to have).
Example: Eddie had to wear a special boot to cure his plantar fasciitis.

As a side note, my favorite drug name is Boniva
(for osteoporosis).

Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments »

Words I love

May 3, 2010 by Beth

I’ve mentioned words I hate in a number of posts. Lest you think I am a negative person — a hater, if you will — I have compiled a list of words I love (definitions courtesy of dictionary.com). Here they are, in no particular order:

Moist (adjective): Moderately or slightly wet; damp
People either love this word or hate it. I love it because I think it really conveys that clammy quality.
Example: I shook his moist, limp hand, and instantly regretted it.

Egregious (adjective): extraordinary in some bad way; glaring; flagrant
The word just rolls off the tongue (or off the fingers, as the case may be).
Example: The professor wrote, “I will take off five points for each egregious error I find.”

Heinous (adjective): hateful; odious
Like egregious, it is just a good, all-purpose adjective to convey something unpleasant.
Example: Trish’s attitude swings from lovely to heinous — sometimes within minutes.

Beastly (adjective): nasty; unpleasant; disagreeable
See “egregious” and “heinous.”
Example: The humidity in Savannah is quite beastly in August.

Harass (verb): to disturb persistently; pester
Up until recently, this word was pronounced “HAIR-uhs” (and still is in many places). Here in America, we commonly say “huh-RASS,” which I like better because it is stronger (and I get to say “ass”).
Example: “Gideon, stop harassing the dog!” Eddie said.

Jackass (noun): a contemptibly foolish or stupid person
Speaking of ass, “jackass” is also a great word. It is strong, succinct, and also employs the word “ass.”
Example: People who leave anonymous comments on blogs are just jackasses.

Badger (verb): to harass
It is just such a great, descriptive verb.
Example: Dominic would not stop badgering his mother about his Batman suit.

Meh (interjection): expression of apathy or indifference
Nothing says indifference quite like “meh.” Just ask students in my classes.
Example: She asked, “Professor, how do you feel about my paper topic?” “Meh,” I replied.

Rascal (noun): a mischievous person or animal
I think I might have stolen this word from Eddie. I’m a rascal.
Example: Eddie looked at our wedding picture and said, “Who’s that handsome rascal?”


Hillbilly (noun): a person from a backwoods or other remote area
The word conjures up so many fantastic images.
Example: Effingham County is populated with hillbillies; Chatham County is populated with hillbillies who have money.

I see a theme here. I promise I also like words that convey positive things. But that is for another post.

Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Twitter: Language’s Wild Wild West

April 30, 2010 by Beth

Shane Marshall Brown, He Who Has Three Names, sent to me a link to a New York Times article about self-appointed Twitter scolds. I love it.

Even though I usually give people a pass for Facebook and Twitter, I’m happy to see others carrying the torch for proper grammar and punctuation.

I wonder if they noticed the Deen Brothers’ tweet with the incorrect apostrophe:

Meanwhile, I’m still busy with loathsome words such as “partner.” Here it is, offending me from behind a glass enclosure at Memorial Health University Medical Center.

Why can’t they just join Memorial? Or be listed as co-sponsors? Or just have the logos without text? Sigh.

Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Mona: Lease up

April 29, 2010 by Beth

We didn’t need another dog. But it looks like we have one.

I think Eddie and I both knew when we took in Mona that she would end up staying. We made (half-hearted) attempts to find another home for her. We thought our friend Sarah’s mom might take her. But I’ll admit we didn’t push too hard.

Yesterday, I broke down and got her this:

That’s a big step. Pretty permanent. Kind of like a wedding ring. But how could we resist this face?

Or the fact that she looks like this when she chews her toys:

But I am worried about one thing: She is very interested in Shelly and Jeanne. Eddie built the coop next to the playroom window so we could check on the chickens easily (ie. see if there is an egg before we have to walk out there). (And yes, convenience equals laziness.)

Maggie the Murderer better not be giving her any ideas.

Posted in Chickens | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Coop to fill

April 27, 2010 by Beth

Though it pained me to do it, I cleaned out Trish’s coop last weekend. (Sad.) Shelly and Jeanne had grown fast, and it was almost time for them to take over the coop.

I knew the time had come last night when I heard a commotion. My feathered friends had found their wings and were pretty darn excited about it. I wish I had a recording of their chirps.

This morning, they moved into the coop.

They seem pretty happy about it. It is a much bigger place, with no nosy, noisy neighbors. Shelly likes the yard, while Jeanne plans to become involved with the neighborhood association. She heard about the crime in the area, and wants to make sure she does all she can to keep the place safe.

Posted in Chickens | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Infallible? Not so much.

April 26, 2010 by Beth

I have a friend, He Who Shall Not Be Named, who enjoys pointing out every mistake I make on Facebook or in this blog. What? You say you are surprised I make mistakes? Oh it is true.

I often make mistakes when my iPhone is involved. It is the spell check feature trying to be helpful. “Thing” turns into “think,” and “the” turns into “Tje” (whatever that means). If I don’t use it, though, “Heidi” becomes “Gefidi.”

I’m not making excuses. Like everyone else, I need to proofread. When I can, I have someone else proofread my work. It is almost impossible to catch all mistakes in your own work by yourself.

It may come as another surprise to learn that I cut people slack in text messages and on Twitter and Facebook. I know people are usually entering status updates on their phones, and may only have a few minutes of attention to spare.

But I often point out (and make fun of) mistakes in the wild, such as ones on signs, fliers, menus, etc., because people have spent money and/or time and effort to create something permanent.

For example, I love Zunzi’s because the food is fantastic. I don’t like to look at the menu because it makes me want to scream.

What is the salad possessing (besides an apostrophe that shouldn’t be there)?

So He Who Shall Not Be Named, you had a typo in one of your Facebook comments this morning. I didn’t point it out. But if you ever make a mistake on a sign or menu, I’m on it like fur on a weasel.

Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , , , | 15 Comments »

More words I hate

April 25, 2010 by Beth

As soon as I posted the list of the top five words I hate, I knew I would have a sequel. Here are five more words/phrases:

In order to
Like “currently,” this is unnecessary. “To” works just as well by itself.
Incorrect: In order to get his yard work done, Eddie had to take off a day of work.
Correct: Eddie had to take a vacation day to finish the yard work.

Piqued
I don’t hate this word. I hate that people don’t know how to use it correctly. People often spell it “peaked” or “peeked.” But it is a French word derived from “piquer,” which means “to prick.”
Incorrect: A student peaked my interest in peopleofwalmart.com
Correct: A student also piqued my curiosity about textsfromlastnight.com.

Hors d’oeuvres
This is another French word that I like when used correctly. The trouble is that people want to use it, but don’t know how to spell. It means “out of the main work,” and refers to appetizers. People mangle the “oeuvre” in a variety of ways, including “ourve.” One enterprising student wrote it “orderves.” Either write “appetizers” or look it up.

Biweekly
Is it every two weeks or twice a week? “Biweekly” can mean either. I hate the ambiguity. AP Style uses “biweekly” to mean “every other week,” and “semiweekly” to mean “twice a week.” But not everyone uses it that way. So let’s be specific.
Incorrect: He updated his blog biweekly.
Correct: He only updated his blog every other week.

PIN number
“PIN” stands for “personal identification number,” so “PIN number” would mean “personal identification number number.” And that’s silly. Same with “VIN number” (vehicle identification number number) and “UPC code” (universal product code code).
Incorrect: Give me your PIN number so I can steal your money.
Correct: “Give me your PIN,” I said.

I’m probably not done yet with the “words I hate” topic. People subject English to so much butchering.

Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments »

Screen saver

April 22, 2010 by Beth

We are dogsitting this week, so that means our grand total of dogs is three. Those of you counting at home may say, “What? I thought ‘plus one’ would be four!”

Vince went to live with my father. Maggie and Vince had an extended stay at Grandma Dad’s because Eddie and I were traveling so much. Vince got along so well with my dad’s girlfriend’s dog “Li’l Bit” that it seemed like a good idea for him to stay. And it helps ease the pain from my dad having to put his dog Rufus to sleep yesterday.

RIP Rufus (1996-2010)

So that leaves Maggie, Mona and Jack, the visiting Cocker Spaniel. Mona also is supposed to be just visiting, but … well.

Maggie is on the naughty list, though. Here’s why:

We closed Maggie in our bedroom yesterday to keep her away from Jack. She must have spotted something in our backyard that needed her attention, so she just headed right out through the screen.

Handy Manny is not pleased

Luckily, we just happened to have some screen on hand, so Eddie fixed it quickly.

Eddie replaces the screen while Mona investigates

He’s really tired of fixing things around the house, though. I can’t blame him.

Posted in Random | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments »

Words I hate

April 21, 2010 by Beth

Some students in my classes have asked for a list of words I hate. Here are the ones that are always at the top:

Currently

If there is a verb in the sentence, then you don’t need that adverb. It is redundant.

Incorrect: Beth is currently a writing professor. “Is” means it is happening right now. “Currently” is overkill.

Correct: I can’t think of an occasion where you would need it.

Hopefully

This is one of the most misused words in the English language. People use it to mean “I hope.” If that is what you mean, then use, “I hope,” for Pete’s sake! It is an adverb, which means it needs to modify a verb.

Incorrect: Hopefully, the envelope contains a bonus check. How is the envelope behaving in a hopeful manner?

Correct: She looked hopefully at the envelope, convinced that it contained a bonus check.

Utilize

I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating: There is nothing wrong with the word “use.”

Incorrect: Utilize your knowledge of grammar to start a blog.

Correct: Use your knowledge of grammar to start a blog. See? “Use” is a perfectly good word.

Nauseous

People use this word to mean “I am sick to my stomach.” But what they should say is “nauseated” because that is what they are. If they are nauseous, then they cause nausea in others.

Incorrect: “I’m nauseous now,” said Eddie after riding The Flying Critter at the fair.

Correct: “The Flying Critter made me nauseated,” he said.

Partner

This is a noun, not a verb. Stop trying to “partner” with people, and just team up, join them or just combine completely in the sentence.

Incorrect: The SCAD writing department is partnering with the graduate studies department to present a lecture by Rebecca Skloot.

Correct: The writing and graduate studies departments are sponsoring the lecture.

There’s more, but this list has made me nauseated, and I need to lie down.

Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged , , , , , , | 25 Comments »

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