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In a word: Awesome

October 26, 2009 by Beth

So much to say, so little ability to concentrate. I want to provide details of the past six hours, but I just can’t process everything right now. The blood! The fire! The explosions! The heels! I’ll give a preview:

 

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Duhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh Bat-hen!

October 25, 2009 by Beth

Last year was my year to channel Martha Stewart and create costumes for the kids. Behold Lightning McQueen and Mater:
Lightning McQueen and Mater

Lightning McQueen (Gideon) and Mater (Dominic)

This year it is Eddie’s turn. He’s been outside making the Batmobile all day. While the boys were testing it out, Trish got in on the act. Behold the Bat-hen:

Quick, Trish! To the Batmobile!

Quick, Trish! To the Batmobile!

Dominic must have thought all the Bat-tivity made her tired. He tried to rock her to sleep.

Posted in Chickens | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments »

The apostrophe’s lament

October 24, 2009 by Beth

I see signs like this and I fear for my children’s future. It’s “Idiocracy” in action. Why can’t people grasp the concept of apostrophes and stop overworking them? Really, it isn’t hard. You have many Nike golf balls on sale; the Nikes aren’t possessing anything. And don’t get me started on the ampersand.

Posted in Grammar, etc. | Tagged | 1 Comment »

Where the wild chickens are

October 24, 2009 by Beth

As you know, the wing-clipping didn’t work; Trish leaves her yard every day and roams the neighborhood. We’ve become “those people.” But I wonder which is worse: a huge, burning pile of refuse (thanks, Wayne) or a chicken with a sense of adventure.

Dominic is as interested in her poop as I am, it appears. He informed me this morning that he noticed some on the driveway where she has been moseying around. He asked me when I was going to clean it up.

Here is an image of Trish roosting in the crape myrtle at sunset. I’d like to see Thomas Kinkade tackle this.

Trish in her tree

Trish in her tree

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For rent

October 23, 2009 by Beth

When I first drove by this sign, I thought it said, “Blog for Rent.” But that didn’t make sense. In addition to the obvious question of why someone would want to rent a blog, and also why someone would print a sign to advertise such a transaction, it is Pooler. I doubt most people have considered the Internet as a marketplace. Strong words, I know, but I don’t see much evidence of advanced business acumen in this stretch of road. Look at this:

Inviting, no? I think the flags really draw people in, don’t you? Continue Reading »

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Seen in South Carolina

October 21, 2009 by Beth

Just outside St. George, I spotted this bit of vehicular carnage:

Que carajo es eso?

Posted in Random | Tagged | 4 Comments »

Social Cues 102

October 20, 2009 by Beth

A little moment from “Seinfeld,” Episode No. 145, “The Little Jerry” (fast forward to 4:50, enjoy the exchange and the Spanish subtitles. Woohoo!)


If you don’t have time to watch, here is the transcription of the key exchange:

JERRY: You asked her out?

GEORGE: Well…not “out.” She’s in prison.

JERRY: How could you ask her out?

GEORGE: Why not?

JERRY: I remember when you wouldn’t date that girl who lived in Queens because you didn’t want to go over the bridge!

GEORGE: That was different!

JERRY: I’ll say.

GEORGE: Jerry, I like being with her. Plus, I know where she is all the time. I have relatively no competition. And you know how you live in fear of the pop-in?

JERRY (shudders): The pop-in.

GEORGE: Yeah, no pop-in, no “in the neighborhood,” no “I saw your light was on.” And the best part is, if things go really well…

JERRY: Conjugal visit?

GEORGE (giddy): Don’t jinx it!

People don’t appreciate the pop-in. Well, let me be clear. I don’t like the pop-in. It isn’t that I’m not social or that I don’t like spontaneity. It is just that I have a pretty tight schedule and unexpected events mean I have to retool that schedule. Without the time-management plan, I can’t get everything done.

My advice: If you are considering a pop-in visit, make sure the object of your attention likes them too. Otherwise it is just selfish.

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Death of a dream

October 17, 2009 by Beth

I received the following depressing e-mail yesterday:

Hi Ruben and Beth,

Unfortunately, we only received seven applications for the Mexico 2009 off-campus programs.
I had hoped that a few more might come in this week, but no luck.

I have notified the applicants that the trip has been canceled for this year—hopefully we will be able to schedule it again in the future.

Blaine

There needs to be at least 12 students. What happened to all the “I’m going!” folks? I was really looking forward to conducting this off-campus program. On the bright side, I now have two extra weeks of freedom in December.

No Guanajuato mummy museum for me

No Museo de las Momias for me


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“Harumph”

October 16, 2009 by Beth

I just used that word in a text message to Trish the Human. I was typing it before I realized I had even thought of it. This is how I work.

The Urban Dictionary defines it as “an expression of disdain, disbelief, protest, or dismissal; a huff, grunt, or snort.” The site defines the word in other, less savory ways as well, but I’m not going to go into that.

It’s a good, useful word, and it conveys plenty of meaning in just seven letters. In case you are curious, I harumphed at Trish because she has been sick for two weeks but won’t go see a doctor. I said she was like my third child. She replied, “Fourth.” I said, “Yes. Fourth. Harumph,” which says a lot.

"Harumph" by kXXchan

"Harumph" by kXXchan

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Yet another poop post

October 15, 2009 by Beth

It’s been a crap-tastic week, literally and figuratively. There is a lot going on right now, and not a lot of it is good. Family health issues, mainly. Dissertation procrastination also.

Dominic just capped off the week with a shout from the bathroom: “Mama, will you wipe my butt?” Sigh. I’m going to remind him of this when I meet his first girlfriend. And much, much later, I’ll shout it myself in the nursing home. Ah, the joy of being very old or very young.

Suri Cruise poop sculpture

Suri Cruise poop sculpture

Above loveliness is from this article.

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