I feel lucky. You are all really good kids. I like you, and your parents seem great too.
I spent loads of time with you over the weekend as it was Gideon’s birthday. I laughed so much.
Let’s recap:
Friday night, I took Roscoe and Gideon to meet Trent to see “A Quiet Place 2.”
Gideon: I forgot my debit card. Roscoe: I have $2. All: [pause] Roscoe: I’m ballin’ Me: [howling] Big pimpin’
Saturday, on the way to Six Flags, I discovered Cole is not a fan of roller coasters. He must really like Gideon to agree to go to a theme park with him.
We drive up to the entrance and see a coaster.
Me: That’s the Georgia Scorcher. You stand up on it. Cole: [blanching] Me: Are your hands clammy now? Cole: My whole body is clammy.
Y’all are at that age where you don’t really want parents around, so Eddie and I peeled off.
You found us at Macho Nacho.
Me: Where’s Dominic? Gideon: He wanted a turkey leg, so we left him. Me: Dang. That’s cold.
Eddie and I felt sorry for Dominic, so we went to find him.
Me, calling Dominic: Where are you? Dominic, sounding annoyed: I’m getting a turkey leg. Me: Where? Dominic: At the Sky Screamer Drinks and Eats. It’s across from the Sky Screamer. Me: We’ll be right there.
We get there, and Dominic tells me he has had the exact same conversation with Josh, Gideon twice, me, then Roscoe. I started laughing, because he repeated the conversation each time for my benefit.
An hour in line (no exaggeration), he finally had his leg.
This is my son. (I do this too.)
We had to leave Six Flags. It was just too crowded. Clearly there’s no COVID in Georgia. 🙄
Trent chatted amiably with me on the way back to the car. I learned all about his job search. And other things.
Trent: I just need about a thousand dollars for equipment. Me: When you get your job, that will happen soon. What kind of music do you do? Trent: I rap for Jesus. Me: Oh! Ok. You have a rap name? Trent: It’s Trent Truth. Me: That’s great!
We decided to resume Gideon’s birthday at the pool.
The next day, we took Dominic and HIS friends whitewater rafting. I’m eternally shocked at Dominic and Gideon’s choice of music for car rides.
Dominic: Green Day to Bee Gees to Taylor Swift Gideon: Neil Diamond to Doom
And then there’s Adem’s choice of footwear. I was surprised to learn Crocs are hella trendy again.
Adem: I’ve got my Crocs in support mode.
That meant he used the back straps. Dylan could have taken a page out of Adem’s book.
If you are on the Ocoee River and find a shoe, it’s Dylan’s.
I feel fortunate. I do. My children have chosen wisely.
Thanks to my last post, I now know of many people who have experienced frozen shoulder. All of them said that physical therapy is the only thing that expedites healing.
So I know you are doing your job, but you are so MEAN. So mean.
Within 10 minutes of meeting you, you pulled my arm way above my head, and counted to 10. Twice. Despite me squirming in pain.
I wanted to yell:
My arm doesn’t bend that way right now, lady. Stop trying to wrench it off!
But instead, I wept quietly.
You said:
I should give you to Michelle (the other therapist). She doesn’t care about tears. I’m the nice one.
You are the nice one? Shudder.
To be honest, the physical therapist I had before my insurance changed (join me for a future TED Talk on that nightmare) was too nice. I didn’t see any improvement in range of motion. But I chalked that up to being in the “freezing” stage.
I do see an improvement in just a couple of days with you. Part of it could be that I’m religiously doing the exercises because I am scared of you.
I know you’ve seen your share of people with my condition.
I know you know what you are doing.
I know this is what I need.
I also know that I don’t want to ever see you again.
But I’ll see you Monday.
Your terrified victim respectful client,
Beth
*If you don’t immediately start singing “Jump Around,” something is wrong with you.
**This is her name. She’s Brazilian. She is merciless.
So. The towing museum — er — International Towing and Recovery Hall of Fame and Museum. Let me resolve the cliffhanger.
I don’t know about you, but I never think about tow trucks until I need them, and I can count the number of times I have needed one on one hand.
But there are many, many people who do think about tow trucks on the reg. Enough that there is a thriving towing museum with promotion on the highway.
And when I say “thriving,” I’m not kidding.
When I checked in on Swarm, the tip that popped up made my eyes widen. I had to read it to Dominic.
High praise, indeed.
Also, Hall of Fame?!
Oh, wow.
We went in, alive with anticipation.
This is Dominic excited.
We paid the entrance fee** ($10, budget accordingly). The cashier said he had just started the movie (!). As it only lasts seven minutes, he told us to hang out in the gift shop, and he’d holler when he was about to start it again.
What a gift shop it was.
Only about half was tow-related merch.
A LIBRARY?!?
The rest featured Tennessee-made products. I bought hot sauce. (Sadly, it didn’t come in pocket size.)
And yes, I also bought a T-shirt. Because of course I did.
Dominic messed around with “Tater Tot.”
Then it was show time.
Did you know that the tow truck was born in Chattanooga? Neither did I.
In 1916, a mechanic named Ernest Holmes had the idea after he helped a friend get his car out of a creek bed. It took eight hours. Holmes modified a 1913 Cadillac with an elaborate crane and pulley system, then filed for a patent on the contraption in 1917.
Did you know that the fatality rate in the towing industry is more than 15 times the rate of deaths for other private industries combined? Neither did I.
But the towing museum has a Wall of the Fallen to help people remember.
The Chevy tow truck set its speed record of 109.33 (average speed) at Talladega Motor Speedway in 1979. The truck’s tires actually started to melt during stock-car-driver Eddie Martin’s trial run.
After the movie was over, another museum guest said, “That was the BEST!”
Dominic and I looked at each other with surprised eyes above our masks.
The vintage trucks were actually very cool.
There was a whole wall of towing-themed toys.
We moved on to the Hall of Fame.
HALL OF FAME, y’all!
Apparently, these are people who “have made substantial contributions to the towing and recovery industry.”
Santa?!?
Olin looks as perplexed as we did.
After the Hall of Fame finale (coup de grâce?), we were fed back into the gift shop.
Me: Well. That was exciting. Dominic: Never a dull moment.
No. Never dull indeed.
Happy recovery, and remember to slow down and move over!
Beth
**Tickets are available in advance if you are worried about there being a rush. I did not buy tickets in advance because I thought it would be hilarious if it sold out for the day we went. This is how my mind works.
On Jan. 6 and afterward, Auntie Beth saw loads of people trying to compare the Capitol event with the Black Lives Matter protests.
So let’s break down the concept of false equivalency.
Why might a comparison not be a fair one? There are two big reasons:
The comparison notes similarities but not differences. For example, I listed three major protests. They have in common inciting incidents — the election of Donald Trump, the killing of George Floyd and the 2020 election — and that they were all protests. But there are major differences: number of people protesting, nature of inciting incidents, amount of violence, number of arrests.
The comparison ignores magnitude and/or nature of difference. The number of arrests in BLM versus MSA is huge. That would indicate that the BLM protests were much more violent than MSA. Were they? Or is there something else at play? According to a recent study, it is the latter. Police are three times more likely to use force against left-wing protestors than right-wing. Arrests follow.
In the Facebook examples above comparing BLM to MSA, it is not accurate to identify “Democrat” response to BLM versus MSA as hypocrisy. That is false equivalence. Why? Three reasons:
Peaceful assembly is a First Amendment right. Nancy Pelosi, etc., can call for protests just as Trump, etc., can. Calling for violence is a completely different thing. (Also, please note that the remarks in the meme are missing context. And let’s also note the peacefulness of the Women’s March. That’s how you protest, folks!)
Democrats did not condone the BLM violence. In fact, many spoke out against it, including Biden.
The underlying reason for the protests is markedly different. The BLM movement began because police killed black men. The MSA protest began because Trump told a lie about a “stolen” election. We can agree to disagree on approaches, but facts are facts: There is no evidence of election fraud. Plus, death ≠ fraud, asking for power ≠displaying power.
Believing in conspiracies like that has consequences. Look at this slide Auntie Beth took from a recent talk on child trafficking that she attended.
See that second point? People drawn in by conspiracy theories took away from services for actual victims. (Educate yourself here.)
Y’all, Auntie Beth would like to remind you of the concept of Occam’s razor: The simplest explanation is likely the right one.
So you can believe in a vast pedophilia ring led by Tom Hanks, among others, or just freakin’ NOT. (Auntie Beth cannot believe she had to write that.)
You can believe that local, state, national and international forces banded together to “give” Biden the win, or you can believe that more people voted for him than voted for Trump. (I mean, just think about the former. All those people can keep a secret? Please.)
I’ve only been glued to the news five times in the past 20 years:
Sept. 11, 2001 (Al-Qaeda attacks)
Aug. 29, 2005 (Hurricane Katrina)
Nov. 1, 2016 (Clinton vs. Trump)
Nov. 3, 2020 (Biden vs. Trump)
Jan. 6, 2021 (Capitol riot)
Here are five things that struck me from No. 5:
Shocking lack of police presence. At the BLM protests this summer, you couldn’t swing a cat without hitting someone in law enforcement. Meanwhile, at the Capitol, folks were just waltzing around taking selfies with the one police officer who seemed to be inside. True story.
Rioters escorted out without being arrested. Again, this is very different from some of the BLM protests where people NOT BEING VIOLENT IN ANY WAY were arrested. Even new Georgia Senator Raphael Warnock was arrested inside the Capitol in 2017 for praying. FOR PRAYING. But breaking windows and walking around with a lectern? Go right ahead.
How the riot has divided Republicans. I have a number of friends who are relatively sane conservatives. They and I want the same things but have different ideas on policies and processes we need to get there. Then there are Trumpers. Guess which ones LOVED the insurrection. It should come as no surprise that the fellow who punched me in the stomach in sixth grade is part of the latter group. Why are we “friends” on Facebook? Good question.
Who wants to tell my sixth-grade bully that there is a big difference between yelling at someone on an elevator and STORMING THE CAPITOL AND DAMAGING PROPERTY? Also, the dude was arrested, so yes he is wrong.
It’s really not funny, though. People died. An important Federal building was trashed. National security was compromised.
As Americans, we have the right to have a peaceful Airing of Grievances on days other than Festivus. We do not have the right to destroy things and hurt/kill people. Those who do that need to experience consequences of their actions besides just being fired. Ten years for damaging government property (ironically, a Trump executive order) is a good place to start.
These folks couldn’t even wear masks while COMMITTING CRIMES. I hope they won’t be surprised when they get the ‘Rona. And you know they will.
I will not be surprised AT ALL when you get the ‘Rona. You took no precautions. I was, quite frankly, horrified.
Yes, we visited too, but we took ample precautions:
We stayed in our four-person bubble.
We stayed at a reputable hotel.
We wore masks everywhere but the hotel room and the car.
We washed our hands and sanitized ourselves regularly.
You, however, did NOT do all of those things.
Example 1: Dinner Friday night
After we went to see a movie (yes, in a theater for the first time since February*), we went to Big River Grille for our reservation. We ran a gauntlet featuring about 15 unmasked people around the door.
Then the hostess tried to sit us in a booth next to another group. My back would have been six inches from some stranger’s back.
NO, THANK YOU.
See Rock City’s sanitizing stations.
Example 2: Ruby Falls on Sunday
There were about a thousand signs saying Ruby Falls is a TOUCH-FREE CAVE. Not only is it bad for the stalagmites and stalactites (oils from human hands keep the formations from growing) but CORONAVIRUS, HELLO!
Our very-loud guide must have said “no touching” 437 times. Every single time, a guy in the group in front of us could not help himself. He touched EVERYTHING.
Congratulations! You and our inept president have helped the United States reach a milestone.
(Ironic how your battle cry is the co-opted “My body, my choice.”)
I understand your desire for personal freedom. But with personal freedom comes personal responsibility. But often, though, people do not do the right thing for themselves or others.
Let’s look at some past freedom vs. personal/public safety issues:
Motorcycle helmets. Despite the fact that many people wanted to be more likely to die in a motorcycle crash did not want a helmet law, Georgia makes it mandatory to wear a helmet. (Incidentally, Georgia had the first helmet law in the United States.)
Seatbelt laws. Despite the fact that many people wanted to be more likely to die in a car crash did not want a seatbelt law, Georgia (and 48 other states) makes it mandatory to wear seatbelts.
Speed limits. Despite the fact that many people wanted to be more likely to die in a high-speed crash did not want speed limits, the federal government and state governments passed speed limit laws.
Those four legislative efforts save roughly 723,000 lives every year.* The first three save nearly 30,000. That’s a large enough number to warrant legislation, apparently.
Clearly, we are not managing the spread effectively.
Clearly, lives are at stake.
Clearly, we need to do something.
I’m not a huge fan of personally intrusive legislation like a national mask mandate, but if y’all keep up your shenanigans, that is EXACTLY what we are going to need.
So wear a damn mask, and stay away from people not in your household.
Kthxbye,
Beth
*I’m happy to give you my sources for those stats, but I know you don’t trust scientific or news sources. (In case you do, and I’m being unfair, visit the links in the post plus this one and this one and this one.)
Thanks for running a marathon of “My Strange Addiction” last night. My strange addiction is “My Strange Addiction” (among other shows of its ilk). And it hasn’t been on in ages.
I thought it was a new season, but apparently I just stumbled across episodes I hadn’t seen. (Not sure how that is possible, but yay for me.)
And it was then, 30 minutes in, that someone finally explained why religious folks would support Trump:
It’s not about four more years. It’s about 37 more years. It’s about two more Supreme Court justices who are pro-life, pro-Israel, freedom of religion and freedom of speech.
Without that, according to him, “We won’t have the freedoms we grew up with.”
“What freedoms are those?” I was wondering when the dude brought out his saxophone.
I’m not kidding.
Jentezen Franklin plays “America the Beautiful.” He didn’t follow with “Baker Street,” sadly.
I guess he didn’t want Cain to upstage him.
This was getting a talent show kind of vibe, so I was excited to see what Bishop Harry Jackson would do.
But he just promoted his new book and explained racism to a room of mostly white people. Y’all were polite, but unenthusiastic.
Bishop Harry Jackson didn’t show off his musical talents.
Interestingly, he was the first person to mention the president by name: 45 minutes into the event.
Pro-life: Just unborn babies, apparently
Pro-marriage: Only between a man and a woman
Pro-freedom: Religious freedom to discriminate
Pro-constitution: A Tea Party battle cry regarding the expansion of the federal government (maybe)
She talked about squash plants and chipmunks. I was a little confused. But then she said:
Some things never change. Some things do change. There was a change of the guard in 2016.
And then she said something about Planned Parenthood “ripping little babies up.”
I see. Abortion. That’s the main driver.
OK, then. Let me say this about that:
No one is hyped to get an abortion. It’s a last resort. Also, no one is “pro abortion.” So let’s agree on one thing: The goal is to reduce abortions. How do we do that?
As we’ve seen with prohibition and the “war on drugs,” making them illegal won’t work. People will find a way, but it makes it very dangerous for women. So to me, the solution is to put more money into sex education, healthcare and contraception.
If you are pro-life (and really, aren’t we all?) then you should be supporting organizations like Planned Parenthood that actively help women with the above needs.
Alright.
Moving on to the next speaker, Richard Lee, who is as orange as the evening’s celebrant: the Cheeto in Chief.
He didn’t address abortion like everyone else. His main beef seemed to be with what is being taught in school: “garbage.”
Oh, and the Antichrist in the form of Democrats.
The Democratic Party has been taken over by the Antichrist. It’s an evil party.
I thank God that he sent Donald J. Trump to us. He is a gift to the church of Jesus Christ.
As much as you seemed to like this statement, I could tell you were restless. He willfully went over his allotted time and joked about it.
You were ready for the final act: Pastor Paula White. I found out later she is married to Jonathan Cain. Ah. He’s her third husband. With overlaps in relationships. So she’s truly taking those commandments seriously.
Observe and report 