Is it wrong that I am counting down the days until school starts again? I am teaching three online classes so I can be home with the kids every day during the summer.
And that was a mistake.
I am not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. I admire women who are. And those women who homeschool have my ultimate respect.
Let me assure you that I love my children with all my heart. I think they are funny, interesting little people. I would take a bullet for them. I adore them. However, my amount of patience is inversely proportional to the amount of time spent alone with the boys during the summer when they have extra energy and less self-control. And the days are longer.
Women don’t like to admit stuff like this. They pretend they are always so Zen with their kids. And maybe some are. But I’m not, and I want to talk about it because I know I’m not alone. This sounds like some kind of addiction meeting: “Hello. My name is Beth, and my kids drive me crazy.”
Every day, I say one of the following sentences. (See this related post for sentences I never thought I’d say.)
1. Leave the dog alone.
2. Stop standing on the furniture.
3. Please stop yelling.
4. Keep your hands to yourself (and its corollary: Leave your brother alone).
5. If you don’t put those toys away, I’m getting a trash bag and I’ll put them away for you.
This week, I’ve also been saying this every day: “No, we can’t watch ‘Land of the Lost.'”
Loss of patience can lead to mother rage. That concept is addressed in a hilarious manner by Anne Lamott in this post that is rather old, but still apropos.
Can I get a “Holla” here? Anyone?
Observe and report 