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Posts Tagged ‘Media’

George Soros paid me to write this* #SundayStories

Posted in Education, Friends, Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2024| 9 Comments »

Dear Certain Facebook Friend,

I really think you need a hobby that does not involve using an “independent browser.” You’ve gone way down the conspiracy-theory rabbit hole.

In addition to hopping on board the HAARP bandwagon, you are, naturally, an antivaxxer.

You posted this recently. Are you really wanting to go back to 1890s knowledge? They were still using cocaine as an all-purpose pain reliever, for crying out loud!

There doesn’t seem to be a conspiracy theory you don’t embrace.

Sigh. Where to begin with this?

Oh. My.

Here are SO MANY tinfoil-hat buzzwords:

Later in the post, you mention the Deep State (of course).

AND, the grandpappy of them all, GEORGE SOROS.

Lord have mercy.

Let me get this straight:

COVID was a well-planned global conspiracy coordinated via the corrupt George Soros-owned media and search engines. The mRNA-DNA altering injections (i.e., vaccines) were sold for massive profits — killing people with the “Pfizer clot shot” while the unvaxxed were hunted.

This is what you said.

OK.

So.

Let’s put aside simple facts such as mRNA doesn’t alter DNA, the vaccines were/are free, and no one hunted unvaxxed folks. There are a couple of other issues:

All the countries of the world agreed to do this: Russia, Ukraine, North Korea, U.S., China, etc.? And they all worked together well and kept it a secret? Like I told you, I can’t even get three people to keep a secret about a Christmas present.

Who exactly benefited from this plot? COVID crashed economies. What’s the point of killing so many people with COVID or with the vaccine? Were they enemies of the DEEP STATE? Did they KNOW TOO MUCH? Somehow I doubt it.

Why is anyone hunting unvaxxed people? There’s no need. I mean, I believe in survival of the fittest. You don’t want to get vaccinated? OK. Polio, measles, cholera, etc. will take you out soon enough.

I’m surprised you didn’t mention THE LIBERAL ELITES.

Side note: All “experts” are not in academia. Look at all the scientists, economists, etc., all over the world.

You know, I have a good position at a university. Shouldn’t I be part of this club? I’ve been working in higher education for nearly 30 years. Shouldn’t I have gotten an invitation by now? I’m a little put out. How am I supposed to know how to indoctrinate students without the official guidelines?

Um … didn’t this dude go to Yale?

I’m also surprised you didn’t warn me off my Alexa. You’d be right about surveillance, though: I’m sure that old ‘ho IS listening all the time and making notes.

Fine. I don’t care. What’s she tracking? When I need cat food? Good.

If Bill Gates wants to implant a chip in me and track my movements, he can go right ahead.

It’s not like I’m plotting a global conspiracy.

Back to that.

Let’s say, just for kicks, that you are right — that you and the rest of the 5G nutters have stumbled onto the truth of a cabal and exposed their machinations. (You haven’t, but let’s pretend.)

So what?

What are you going to do about it?

What if the earth IS flat? (It’s not.)

So what?

How does it affect you?

What if the moon landing WAS fake? (It wasn’t.)

So what?

How will your life change?

It won’t.

It genuinely does not make a difference to you or to me or to anyone in our daily lives. We are still going to go to work, hang out with friends, take care of our families, clean our houses, plan vacations, pay bills, go to dinner, etc., every day whether George Soros buys another TV station or not.

So my recommendation is to get off the Internet (dark web, light web, private browser, whatever) and go get some fresh air. Have a few analog days. Or weeks. Or maybe even months.

When you come back, take a page out of Finland’s playbook for its schoolchildren and practice critical-thinking skills.

With genuine concern for your health,
Beth

*He didn’t. Obviously.

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Everyday I write the book* #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , on October 10, 2024| 5 Comments »

Dear Blog,

I’m so glad I have you. I know I ignore you sometimes. But Stella always gets her groove back.

I get sand in my shell, and my posts become my pearl. Well, they are pearls to me.

“Any writer worth his salt writes to please himself … It’s a self-exploratory operation that is endless. An exorcism of not necessarily his demon, but of his divine discontent.”
–Harper Lee

What’s interesting to me is that what some readers find pearls are the exact posts that others find to be sand still.

For example, in election years, my posts seesaw between some kind of topical outrage and mundane daily life. Those who love the former also seem to like the latter.

But not all who like the latter also like the former.

I’m sure it depends on whether the person agrees with me or not.

However, if I don’t write, I might die.

 “Words are a lens to focus one’s mind.”
–Ayn Rand

It’s my chief creative outlet. It gives me a reason to get out of the house. (Sometimes it is the only reason.)

And through the magic of technology, I can schedule posts — a fact a former coworker (aka Mean Girl) didn’t understand. I’m convinced she friended me on Facebook just to spy on me. She complained about me to my boss, saying I was using work time to write. My boss told me. I was incredulous.

“Does she not understand how this works?” I asked him. He shrugged.

“A word after a word after a word is power.”
–Margaret Atwood

Here I get to vent my spleen about her and others.

“I write to discover what I know.”
–Flannery O’Connor

I also get an excuse to do research like I did when I was a full-time journalist.

“When you make music or write or create, it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.”
–Lady Gaga

Ultimately, this blog is for me. Maybe it’s for others too. It’s not for everyone. I’m OK with that.

Love,
Beth

*The other Elvis

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Gypsies, Tramps, Thieves, Liars, Fools and Marjorie Taylor Greene* #SundayStories

Posted in Education, Politics, Technology, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2024| 8 Comments »

Hey kids!

Auntie Beth is back to help you make sense of the weather.

If Marge from the holler is trying to tell you the gub’ment is controlling the weather, don’t believe her.

This is the same person who thought that Jewish space lasers caused California wildfires.

Also, she’s PART of the government.

Also, she’s said humans don’t cause climate change (but if they did that it’s good for us.).

But humans DID cause Hurricane Helene?

Really, it boggles the mind.

But MTG isn’t the only halfwit out there tweeting (er .. Xing) nonsense.

  1. Application (louder for people in the back)
  2. Abandoned
  3. Sound waves
  4. Joins applications for fun things like time travel and invisibility cloaks and urinal headrests
  5. Can’t we get rain over deserts?

But wait, here’s more:

Ok, y’all: I’m going to address just one thing to bring the rest of this nonsense into focus:

These storms brewing in the Atlantic at the same time? Not a coincidence.

That’s right. That’s because IT’S HURRICANE SEASON.

Hurricane season runs June 1-Nov. 30 EVERY YEAR.

It’s at its most active in late August and September when water temperatures in the Gulf and in the Atlantic are at their warmest.

(Reality check: When was Hurricane Katrina? Aug. 29, 2005. Who was president? George W. Bush. When was Hurricane Andrew? Aug. 24, 1992. Who was president? George H. W. Bush.)

Facebook reminded me I was worried about the path of Hurricane Matthew at this time eight years ago.

So a little check back around this time every effing year would find a few storms brewing in the Atlantic. These storms have gotten more intense. Why? CLIMATE CHANGE, YOU ABSOLUTE TURNIP.

(Ok. I’m breathing. I’m breathing. In with the good air. Out with the bad.)

Back to the U.S. government controlling hurricanes. Does it? No. Did it? If you count some light cloud seeding back in the 1960s-1980s? Still no (it didn’t work).

Auntie Beth recommends you stop believing complete buffoons and liars and start believing and helping people who want to do things such as:

  • Reduce carbon emissions
  • Replace and repair critical infrastructure
  • Find and fund insurance for homeowners and renters in areas potentially most affected
  • Build storm-resilient structures
  • Develop new clean-energy sources and technology

If you can’t do that, at least stop sharing misinformation on Leon’s sinking barge of barf.

Auntie Beth thanks you.

*Sorry, Cher.

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Hurt people hurt people* #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on September 19, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Dear Trump Fans,

Before you think, “Oh, here she goes again — another political post,” let me assure you that it’s not. No policy points here. It’s about personality. It’s about Trump the man.

I don’t like him at all.

I know, I know: I’ve hidden it so well. 😉😂

The only time I even liked him a wee bit was when he wore a yellow suit on SNL.

So my genuine question for you: Why do you like him? As a person? Not as a candidate.

I’m going to make some general sweeping assumptions. I might be wrong on a few when it comes to bets on you, but I’m not wrong on him. See links.

He’s just so different from you (and from me) as a human being.

You worked hard for your money. He didn’t.

You pay taxes. He doesn’t.

You pay your bills. He doesn’t.

You work to keep your business afloat. He doesn’t.

You love spending time with your family. He doesn’t.

You have friends. He doesn’t.

You don’t mock people with disabilities. He does.

You don’t lie. He does.

You have to work at least eight hours a day at your job. He didn’t.

You don’t call people names. He does.

You wouldn’t take a bribe. He likely did.

You give to charity. He misused charitable funds.

You likely have pets. He doesn’t.

You might be able to dance. He can’t.

You wouldn’t bury your dead ex spouse on your land. He did.

You don’t cheat on your spouse.** He does.

You aren’t gross about women in general. He is.

You haven’t raped anyone. He has.

You haven’t been convicted of a felony. He has.

I would hope you aren’t racist. He is.

A couple of these on the list might not be a problem. I mean, not everyone can dance. Some people are allergic to pets. But a collection of more than four or five, and we are starting to get into weird territory.

And those last three are deal breakers for my fan club threshold.

You might say, “But Beth, I don’t have much in common with Taylor Swift either.” Yeah. But she has friends. Cats. Gives to charity. Works hard. Ticks off a number of “like us” boxes.

He’s not like you. Like me. I’m sure you are a good person with a good work ethic and good friends/family.

Have you ever seen this man laugh really hard at anything? Have a genuinely good time? Can you imagine him drinking a beer and playing Uno? Riding a rollercoaster? Wearing a bathing suit and playing in the ocean with Barron?

Some of this can be traced back to his roots. To paraphrase Roxie Hart, he didn’t get enough love in his childhood.

Fine. Fair. But break the cycle, man.

He seems exhausting to be around. No fun whatsoever.

So why do you like him?

I hope the answer isn’t, “He says what I’m thinking.” THAT would be awful (because … that last point, y’all).

I guess I don’t really expect an answer, but I also really don’t understand.

Mystified,
Beth

*Origin (?) of the phrase

**And if you do, it’s not likely to be with a porn star.

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(No) Poker Face* #WednesdayWomen

Posted in Politics, Random, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 11, 2024| 6 Comments »

Ladies, do you suffer from FAFO Face like VP Harris?

I know I do.

If you try to stop your face from moving, your thoughts come out through your eyes.

Trust me. I nearly killed a coworker last week, Homelander style.

In its mildest form, it manifests as RBF.

So what can we do?

Not a damn thing. Folks need to get over it. (Or stop doing stupid stuff to cause the face. 😄)

Here’s a handy decoder:

“Oh you think so, do you? FAFO.”
“Let me get this straight.”
“Bitch, please.”
“I’m laughing at you, not with you.”
“Come on, now.”
“This MFer.”
“Do tell.”
“I’m just going to look down at my notes, because my face has nothing nice to say.”
“Oh, honey. I actually feel sorry for you.”

Now let’s test your knowledge. What is my face saying to you?

A. This bar is great.
B. The decor is unique.
C. I found love in a hopeless place.
D. I want to murder this man who sat four inches from me despite the fact that there were 10 empty seats at the bar.

If you said D, then winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Whatever you do, don’t be this guy:

It’s misogynistic and akin to “you should smile more.” Frank, how ’bout you train yourself to STFU.

If you need it, here’s a dude saying roughly the same thing:

It’s an extra layer of communication. Useful, I’d say.

I mean, just think about how moms operate. All you needed was THE LOOK from your mom, and you stopped your buffoonery immediately.

In retrospect, I should amend my first line. I do not “suffer” from FAFO Face. I actually celebrate it! I have the ability to communicate effectively without words.

But here are three:

Bite me, Frank. 😉

*Lady Gaga gives good face. That arched eyebrow!

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Fact check 2.0 #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 29, 2024| 3 Comments »

Dear Timothy,

I wish you weren’t the kind of person who would post things like this:

But sadly, you are.

You also posted this:

You dared me to fact check it.

Challenge accepted.

The claim: “Allowed 15m unvetted illegals into the country.” The truth: “Allowed” is the wrong word. (How can you “allow” if they aren’t vetted?) Regardless, the number of unauthorized immigrants in the United States is estimated at 11 million — about the same number it was in 2015. The number reached peak in 2007. You know who was president then? George W. Bush. A Republican. (Not sure if you hate Democrats or Biden or both, but I’ll reference presidents AND parties in this exercise.)

Side note: Are “illegals” taking jobs or are they lazy/living off services and/or drug dealers/rapists? Are they taking the drug-dealing jobs? I just want to be clear. Also, someone you love very much is a rapist and took a qualified-person’s job, so …

The claim: “Historic inflation crisis.” The truth: In Biden’s first year in office, the inflation rate hit 7 percent in 2021, which was a 40-year high, thanks to the pandemic, supply chain issues, the war in Ukraine, etc. The all-time high was 29.78% in 1778. Also corporations like Kroger behaved badly.

The claim: “Record high gas prices in all 50 states.” The truth: Hard to say if it was the case in all 50 states, but gas in general hit a record-high price in March 2022 — once again, thanks to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. It beat a record set in July 2008. Who was president? Our buddy Dubya.

The claim: “Record high consumer debt.” The truth: This is accurate. It goes up every year, and could be a complaint about every single administration. No doubt it will go up no matter who is president.

The claim: “Released terrorists into the country.” The truth: Hard to research/know about this one. Who are these terrorists? Maybe it comes from this Jim Jordan report saying 100 people on the terrorist watch list were let into the country in 2022. The Biden Administration closed a loophole leading to this. There’s a conflicting report saying 100 were STOPPED from entering in 2022 with 160 stopped in 2023. Here’s some general fact checking about immigration.

The claim: “Ukraine-Russia War.” The truth: Is the claim that the Biden Administration started it? That’s insane considering the conflict started back in 2014 with the annexation of Crimea. And it’s, you know, TWO OTHER COUNTRIES.

The claim: “Israel-Hamas War.” The truth: Same response as above in that Biden in no way started this war. The Gaza-Israel conflict essentially has been going on since 1967.

The claim: “Disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan.” The truth: HOO BOY. Both the Trump and Biden Administrations made big mistakes. Arguably one of the biggest was Trump releasing 5,000 Taliban from prison. One of those is Abdul Ghani Baradar, who is acting first deputy prime minister of Afghanistan today. Kind of a big deal.

The claim: “Violent crime skyrocketing.” The truth: False. A Pew Research Center report noted, “Both the FBI and BJS [Bureau of Justice Statistics] data show dramatic declines in U.S. violent and property crime rates since the early 1990s, when crime spiked across much of the nation.” Fun fact: The murder rate rose 30 percent between 2019 and 2020 — the largest single-year increase in more than a century. Who was president then? Oh right. Trump.

The claim: “Tried to jail political rival in name of democracy.” The truth: Is this a reference to Trump’s convictions? HAHAHAHAHA! GTFO. Trump, a rapist, broke the law many, many times. He should be held accountable like anyone else. This isn’t Biden’s doing. Trump did this himself.

The claim: “Lied to the American public about Joe’s decline.” The truth: I don’t even know where to start with this. Everyone gets older (“declines,” I guess). No need to lie about anything. It’s not like they hid his age. I love all the armchair physicians. Here’s what I do know: Running the country takes an administration (Executive branch) plus Congress (Legislative branch) with laws upheld by the Judicial branch. Biden’s cabinet supported him. Fun fact: Trump’s cabinet did not (and do not).

The claim: “Declared war on American energy.” The truth: How do you declare war on a quantitative property? Is the claim that the Biden Administration is trying to shut down or constrain energy companies? In fact, it is just the opposite: The United States is producing record amounts of oil, natural gas and renewable power.

The claim: “Record low test scores for K-12 students.” The truth: Which K-12 students? All of them? That’s impossible to know. Average test scores for reading and math for 13 year olds dropped since 2020 (um … pandemic, hello!). However, the science scores among 15 year olds is unchanged since 2018. Test scores in Oregon among children in grades 3-8 and 11 for English and math and grades 5, 8 and 11 for science show progress. So this claim needs to define terms/ages/states, etc., in order to compare apples to apples year over year.

The claim: “Most unpopular president and VP in history.” The truth: Among Republicans, maybe. Just kidding. This is completely false. You know who had the lowest “high” on the all-time approval rankings? Trump with just 49 percent. The president who had the highest high (92 percent) and the lowest low (19 percent)? Dubya, once again. Here’s a fun Gallup chart for all you visual learners:

Clearly, I missed my calling as a fact checker and researcher. (I wonder if Snopes is hiring.)

Here’s a list of just some of the things Biden and his administration actually did. You may not agree with or want all the things on this list, but these are the facts. No need to make up anything.

Also, jobs.

Anyway, Timothy, I know my work won’t change your mind. Maybe it will change someone else’s.

Your “friend,”
Beth

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I diD mY oWn rEseArcH! #TuesdayTip

Posted in Advice, Politics, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2024| 4 Comments »

Dear People Who Like to Share Wrong Information:

In the age of social media, I know it is hard not to share a chart or a meme that fits in with your world view/personal bias. I know it seems great in the moment, but I really encourage you to check your facts.

As we are in an election year, and people are foaming at the mouth, sharing misinformation is a real problem.

A couple of far-right friends shared a chart I found interesting:

It’s interesting to me because it looks great for your cause if you are a Trump supporter.

(Quick personal bias check: I am a Never Trumper. I’m sure most of y’all know that.)

BUT THIS CHART IS WRONG. I know it is wrong because I had recently done some research on gas prices.

(That people think the President of the United States controls the price of gas is insane to me.)

Anyway, I was motivated to get the real numbers, and I had some spare time.

I put together a spreadsheet. I hate Excel, so I need everyone to understand that this is a big deal.

In addition to providing the real data for the categories in the chart above, I added some other key info such as the global inflation rate, deficit and GDP. I also added the numbers for the last four years Obama was in office to give context.

I’m presenting it here without comment. These are real numbers, and I can provide sources for this data (non-media sources). Let me know if you want me to send you the spreadsheet with source links.

The bottom line: Educate yourself. Decide what is important to you. Vote accordingly.

Also, don’t share stupid inflammatory shit that is wrong. There is enough misinformation in the world without you adding to it.

Kthxbyeeee,
Beth

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A show that really takes the biscuit* #SundayStories

Posted in Cultural differences, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 3, 2024| 5 Comments »

Dear British Folks:

You know how I love your TV shows. I can’t get over the full frontal on regular TV.

Even your reality shows are so different from ours in America. They are just so civilized. I mean, just look at the “Great British Bake Off.” The competition is with THEMSELVES. “Oh this tart. It’s just not my day” and the like.

But then there is “Four in a Bed.” I saw a side of you people that shocked me to my core.

(Interruption for people who aren’t familiar with the show: Four innkeepers take turns staying at each other’s places then rate them on facilities, breakfast, host attitude, etc. They also pay what they think the stay was worth. There’s a winner at the end.)

In Season 14, Episode 1, Mandi didn’t like that Natalie, who wears the pants in her relationship with Mark (contestants noted this repeatedly), deducted some points for cleanliness because there was a dust layer on the nightstand.

Well. That meant WAR.

When it came time for the stay at Mark and Natalie’s, this lady stood on the nightstand to find cobwebs on top of the four-poster bed. She was on her hands and knees in the bathroom to look close enough to find wee stains in the toilet grout. She deducted points for two hairs on the carpet. A six for cleanliness was a low blow, considering she only gave a two to “Sleeperdorm” that actually had a wee-stained mattress and suspicious drips down the wall.

I’ve never seen a more vicious show in your country.

And I watch plenty of British TV.

Anyway, thanks for making me feel better about our miserable Housewives and whatnot.

Tra!
Beth

*Love me some slang.

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I’m baaaack! #SundayStories

Posted in Education, tagged , , , , , , on December 10, 2023| 2 Comments »

Hello Readers!

Not sure I have any left. That’s understandable. I’ve been MIA for WEEKS.

Why?

Consequences of the decision to move to another part of the country, start a new job AND take two courses to finish my Explosives Technology graduate certificate.

It’s been an exhausting time.

Classes are over, though, and I earned my certificate. I knew I’d be fine in the Commercial Pyrotechnics course because I did well in the Stage Pyrotechnics and Special Effects course.

Demolition? Not so much.

At one point, I thought I was going to fail.

Not only did I not fail, I earned an A in the course — due in large part to the final project, which was a group project to create a bid to demolish the St. Louis Arch.

Three twentysomething engineering students and me. We spent weeks working on this project via email, Zoom and group chat. (Our group name: Arch Nemesis, Inc. — yuk, yuk.)

I needed a nearly perfect score to get an A. I had come to terms with getting a B. Then we presented our work. The professor had nothing but good things to say about our bid presentation.

Y’all. He gave us extra credit.

I am so proud of us. I’m proud of myself.

Maybe you can hire me for your next explosive event. Or not. I think I’m done with this chapter of my life.

Now that this semester is over, I may get back to writing regularly.

See you soon (?),
Beth

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Party sub #SundayStories

Posted in Music, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 29, 2023| 5 Comments »

Dear Monét X Change,

I owe you an apology. I did not fully appreciate your work at the event last night.

As much as I like you in general, I was there for the sole purpose of seeing Big Freedia.

Everyone knows how much I love Big Freedia.

I mean, why else would straight, middle-aged me go to this?:

Lord knows that I am not the target audience.

My friend Wendy went with me. We were definitely the oldest people there by about 25 years. Two of a handful not in costume. And I’d bet a rainbow flag that I was the only heterosexual.

Not that any of this matters. It was a fun night. It was nice to get out, as my new job has consumed my life.

BUT we were there to see Big Freedia. And while I appreciate that you stepped in last minute when Freedia had a family emergency, I wasn’t really feeling your set.

I also wasn’t feeling the four bathrooms and two small bars for 500 people.*

I WAS feeling a new friend named Derek, though. Literally. He asked me to fix the garter buckle on the stockings of his sexy nurse costume. I was happy to help, and I ended up with what he proclaimed as my “new twink son.”

Anyway, thanks for your service.

Happy Halloween!
Beth

*not an exaggeration

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