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This ain’t my first rodeo #WednesdayWandering

Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2023| Leave a Comment »

Captain’s Log, Day 4 (375 miles logged)

This is Merle the RV at home in the Rushmore View RV Park. Merle seems like he’s old, fat and sleeps naked. You’d never know that Merle came in under cover of night and rain.
Merle is basically parked in the lot for this place. Do NOT use a black light in any room.

We decided to eat breakfast in the thriving metropolis of Keystone.

Along the way, we saw more interesting chainsaw sculptures.

But we were there to see two much bigger sculptures.

Mount Rushmore
Crazy Horse

I did enjoy seeing both these monuments. However, my experience was marred by a few things:

  • The oppressive heat. Surely I must have lost 10 pounds in water weight from sweating.
  • People. The older I get, the less I like crowds. And as these are tourist attractions, there are many people there. I think one person out of five operates on one brain cell. So you get hundreds of people together, and you are bound to have a pack of idiots.
  • Flies. The house fly must be the South Dakota State Insect.
  • The admission price. It cost $35 to get into the Crazy Horse Monument. That would be a good price if I liked museums or movies about history. I don’t. The family doesn’t. I think we should have saved money and just driven by. But we didn’t.
This photo cost $35. 😉

We got on the road to Cody just after noon. Wyoming makes South Dakota seem wildly overpopulated.

There aren’t even any billboards!

It’s flat for miles, then suddenly there was a canyon.

Eddie to me, the driver: Slow down, please.

Me: It’s fine. It just feels weird from over there.

Him: The brake isn’t working.

Me (alarmed): What do you mean?

Him: The brake over here (gestures to the passenger floorboard).

We rolled up to the Cody KOA at 6:52 p.m. When I checked in, I found out that there is a free shuttle to the Cody rodeo every night during the summer.

A RODEO!

But the shuttle would be leaving at 7 p.m.

Eddie didn’t want to go, so he said he’d handle setup. The boys and I ran over to the bus.

You KNOW I wasn’t going to miss my chance. I haven’t seen a rodeo since I covered one in Ludowici, Georgia, when I was a TV reporter.

I was DEFINITELY more excited to be there than they were.

The only bad thing is that the clown co-MC’s jokes were SO OLD. For example:

What do OJ and that Bronco running around there have in common?

Neither one wants to go to the pen.

Yeah.

Still. A good time was had by all.

Coming tomorrow: Yellowstone

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Me so corny* #TuesdayTravels

Posted in Parenting, Taxidermy, Travel, Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 18, 2023| 4 Comments »

Captain’s Log, Day 3 (490 miles logged)

Get ready, people: This place has everything: saloons, Costner merch, a building decorated with corn, taxidermy (yay!), a massive jackalope sculpture, and an out-of-place T-Rex.

The first night in the RV went well. We had pride in a job well done, as we had never hooked up an RV before. It wasn’t hard at all. I was worried for nothing.

The RV is spacious. It should be at 30 feet long.

Everyone has a space of his/her own.

I’m on the converted dining room table. (The photo didn’t turn out.)

Leo, as you see, is everywhere.

He’s a bed-hopping whore. Leo, not Dominic. (I don’t think Dominic is, anyway.)

You may wonder why Eddie and I aren’t sharing.

Well, it’s because we are divorced. I know that may come as a surprise as I’ve never mentioned it publicly. It’s private.

It’s also obviously amicable, as we are on this road trip together (mutual choice). I mean, we were together for nearly 30 years. We are part of each other’s lives. We are coparenting. And we still like each other!

Anyway, we started in Onawa, Iowa, and made our way through South Dakota. So many things to see along the way.

Starting with this fine specimen at a rest stop.
80 mph speed limit!
Corn Palace!
Is it a gym? A theater? No, it’s a gift shop.
Want more info? Here you go.
We also stopped at 1880 Town.
This is the main attraction, apparently.
I don’t really care about the movie or Kevin Costner.

But I DO care about a cool Wild West town.

And that I have a son in jail.
That’s what happens when you raise criminals.
I also care about my new side hustle.

The saloon was a big draw. That’s where the refreshments were. No beer, though, which seems like a missed opportunity.

There also was live music.

“Live”

As soon as Gideon saw the performer, he said, “Yeah, he was born here.”

Unadvertised attraction: unfettered goat action

Our next stop was Wall Drug. There had been 423 billboards advertising it, including one with a command.

We did as we were told.

Narrator: They could have missed it and been fine.

I enjoyed the massive jackalope, but the rest was just shopping.
And bad animatronics.
And taxidermied bison.
And this. Just why?

We decided to eat at the Badlands Saloon and Grille. Sadly, our server, Mateo, had no sense of urgency regarding our food and hydration needs.

The delicious Mac and Cheese Burger nearly made up for Mateo.

Thanks to our extended stay in the restaurant, we arrived later than we wanted to the Rushmore View RV Park. We had to set up camp in the dark in the rain. (View? What view?)

Coming soon: Our gang pays a visit to George and his gang.

*This was on a T-shirt at the Corn Palace. Seriously.

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Settler’s rest #MoveItMonday

Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , on July 17, 2023| 4 Comments »

Captain’s Log, Day 2 (492 miles logged)

Loading the rest of the RV and double-checking that the house was empty SUCKED. That is why I looked like this:

RAGGEDY
I bruise easily, but still.

My mom picked up the boys from the airport, and I met them for breakfast for a last meal with her.

She had a present for Leo, considering he’s going with me to a very granola place.

Leo was NOT amused.

We finally got on the road around 10:30 — just two hours later than I hoped.

I’m glad I didn’t need the boys to stay up and keep Eddie and me company.

Eddie and I did see some interesting road sculptures.

And land of Trish.

But that’s about it.

We arrived at the Sunset at Blue Oasis RV park just before sunset. (Timing FTW!)

We set up shop.

Leo made it very difficult to organize anything.

Eddie and Gideon hit the pool while Dominic pouted. He’s addicted to Rainbow Six Siege (withdrawal is hard) and possibly some girl named Emma.

See Dominic sulk (right).

I made chili for dinner, but realized I had made a crucial error: I didn’t pack bowls. I only had one, so we made do, cowboy style.

Dominic said we needed to be listening to an old-time radio show, so he found a ghost-story podcast.

We planned to watch a movie, but exhaustion set in. It was a REALLY long day: Four states and nearly 500 miles.

Next up: South Dakota and the Corn Palace

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Highway to Hell* #SundayStories #RoadTrip

Posted in Home Sweet Home, Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 16, 2023| 5 Comments »

Captain’s Log, Day 1 (and lead up)

Movers came.

A ramp on my steps!

Car transport service came.

It was weird to watch my car drive away without me.

I packed the remaining stuff for the RV and worried about space.

The next day, the epic road trip started out fine. I had to pick up the RV in Kansas City, so I hitched a ride with my brother who was headed there for a gig.

Look at me with Lodell: fresh faced and ready for adventure.

Why did I have to get it in Kansas City? Good question. Cruise America doesn’t have any locations closer to St. Louis. It was KC or Chicago. Weird, but ok.

While on the way, Gideon was updating me on the flight. Allegiant flies direct from Savannah, Georgia, to Belleville, Illinois, (close to St. Louis) seasonally. No frills, of course. It’s a sky bus.

Despite my flight tracker saying they were en route and the Allegiant app saying they were on time, they were delayed. No explanation.

According to Gideon, for a moment, it looked like they were going to board. But then, the flight was canceled. No reason given. No attempt to reschedule: Sucks to be you; we’ll give you a voucher.

The next flight out on any airline that would get them there that night was $1,319 per ticket.

Mama ain’t got that kind of cash.

Survey says: Delta for $259 the next morning.

I arranged all this while sitting on a stack of furniture pads in the RV place that doubles as a UHaul rental center.

So that was fun.

They headed home. So did I.

Despite being 30 feet long, the RV is easy to drive. It’s not cheap, though.

Yikes. That’s about 10 miles per gallon.

What I had been counting on was having help loading the beast for the trip with everything the movers didn’t take.

Thar she blows!

But that wasn’t the case. My next-door neighbors took pity on me and helped me with some of it.

I organized as much as I could before the heat melted me like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Next up: The adventure begins. For real this time.

* Of course.

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Oregon Trail: Now With Less Dysentery (I hope) #SundayStories

Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 12, 2023| 3 Comments »

Dear Readers,

In about a week, I’ll be on the road again. While Willie just can’t wait, I am not similarly excited.

I will be embarking on my sixth move in as many years.

This time I am headed to Oregon. A university there made it very worth my while.

So I’m packing up AGAIN. This time, I’m hiring movers to help me. HOWEVER, moving still belongs in the first, fifth and seventh circles of hell.

And while I’m leaving much of it to the professionals, I still plan to move some personal things, things they won’t take (my wine!), and this guy:

I’m renting an RV to make the cross-country trek with Eddie and the boys. I’m hopeful it will go more smoothly than that other trip we were supposed to take in an RV.

There are a handful of states I haven’t visited, and most of them are in that upper chunk of the United States. So here we go! Adventure awaits.

I’ll be sure to tell you all about it.

Wish me luck (and retained sanity)!
Beth

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The Graduate #SundayStories

Posted in Parenting, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2023| 7 Comments »

Hi everyone!

It may or may not be a surprise, but Dominic made it to and through graduation.

During COVID, he just checked out of school. (Let’s be honest: He wasn’t exactly a star student before COVID either.) He just wouldn’t turn things in. He’d procrastinate until the very end then scrape by.

“So what are his plans now?”

Many, many people have asked. If I had a dollar for every time … well, you know.

I understand that it comes from a place of genuine curiosity, but I really am tired of saying, “I don’t know.”

I don’t know because Dominic doesn’t know.

He’s in teenage limbo where he has not yet found his passion and purpose.

I always knew what I wanted to do. I’ve always had a plan. I am not the kind of person who drifts through life.

But some people are, and that’s fine. He’s one of them. I’m not trying to impose my will on him.

He might work for a year.

He might go to college.

He might go into the military.

His friends know what they are going to do, and that adds pressure.

He’ll figure it out. The frontal lobe is still developing.

In the meantime, at least he’s passed this milestone. I’m proud of him.

And I’m as interested as everyone else in what’s next.

Beth

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‘Crosse country seeing #SundayStories

Posted in Parenting, tagged , , , , , , , on April 2, 2023| 2 Comments »

Dear Dominic and Gideon,

Thanks for inviting me to your most-recent game. It was nice to see you two playing on a team together for the first time in about 13 years.

But the sport?

I don’t understand.

Your father played and coached basketball. You are both 6’2″ and could be good at basketball.

But no. You chose something else: lacrosse.

Lacrosse!

It’s apparently the oldest team sport in America, but I don’t know nothing about playing lacrosse. But it looks like basketball mixed with hockey.

There’s so much whacking with the stick about your person. And this is not only allowed, but encouraged.

And pushing is OK too.

I found this out when someone on the other team shoved Gideon and sent him flying on the field in front of me. Home and Away were sitting on the same side of the bleachers, and I heard someone say, “Good push.”

I nearly lost my Mom mind, but realized I would be sorely outnumbered.

I yelled down, “Are you OK?”

Gideon, you yelled, “Yeah.”

Then the people behind me clapped for you when you got up.

I got verklempt when you ran over to your team on the other side and you, Dominic, hugged him like a good big brother should.

Even though your team lost the game, it was a nice day outside, great to see you two in action, and I’m learning new things. All of those are good.

Keep up the good teamwork!

Love,
Mama

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Story of My Life 6: Fallout* #MondayMindfulness

Posted in Advice, Parenting, tagged , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2023| 2 Comments »

Dear Friends and Family,

This is it: the last part of this origin story.

It’s been quite a journey (Here are parts 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.)

Here are the takeaways:

  1. Genetics are cool. Over the course of about two years, I have met more than 30 new people to whom I am blood related. Seeing myself in people other than the two I made is incredible. I see my eyes in my sister, my dimples in my brother, my laugh in my father, my inability to sit still in my mother, etc.
  2. Love isn’t like pie. More for some doesn’t mean less for others. I can love my adopted parents and extended family with my whole heart (and do) and also love my found family.
  3. Love is love is love. No boundaries. Some of the most wonderful messages I’ve received are from adopted cousins. Add to those messages all the heartfelt ones from friends and relations by marriage and new people tangential to the story, and you see that this has been a moving experience for more people than just myself.
  4. The human capacity for love, understanding and acceptance is astounding. Everyone in this story (except one**) has seemed to be so happy about this late-in-life connection. I have been amazed at how excited people seem to be to add me to the family. I’m still on my best behavior of course. I don’t want anyone to regret the welcome. 😉
  5. I am fortunate. Not every adoptee has a positive experience. And I have had it on both sides. One of my friends found her birth mother, and mom turned out to be … not a good person. Another friend found his, who said she didn’t want a relationship: “I gave you up for a reason.” Kathy is fond of saying that this could have been a Lifetime movie, but it turned out to be a Hallmark one.

Me: That’s why I was careful to explain in my letter that I’m a normal, stable person.

Alaina (my niece): That’s exactly what a crazy person would say.

Another takeaway? I can expel water from my face holes. (Thanks for the term, Heather!)

This kid had no idea what would happen in a few decades.

So many of you have contacted me with your own stories and messages of encouragement. Thank you. My goal in writing this series was twofold:

  1. It’s a great story. Come on: You have to give me that!
  2. I wanted to recognize and applaud all the people who opened their hearts to me.

If my story helps any other adoptees or adoptive families navigate these strange waters, then I will have done some good.

With any luck, they will get a message from a birth parent that’s as welcome and touching as this one:

Thanks for reading.

XO,
Beth

*Mission Impossible. Of course.

**I think that person just needs a little more time to process. I’m certainly not going to force it.

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Story of My Life 5: You Only Live Twice #SentimentalSaturday

Posted in Parenting, Travel, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2023| 4 Comments »

Dear Friends and Family,

(You know the drill: Part 1, 2, 3 and 4.)

During my conversation with my father, he told me that he didn’t actually live at the address where I sent the letter. His ex-wife, Jan, still lives there with her son, my half-brother Brad. (They also have a daughter, Erin, my half sister.) Jan opened the letter, shared it with Brad, and he shared with David.

(After I asked Jan* about this part of the story, she said that when Brad called David, David talked about his crazy day. Brad said, “Dad, it’s about to get a whole lot crazier.”)

David now lives in Long Island in an apartment off my uncle’s house. (The apartment used to be my uncle’s dental office.)

Y’all. I mean. Can you IMAGINE Jan’s reaction? Brad’s? David’s?

I might have had to take some time to process, but David called me within 24 hours.

The call consisted of high-level catch-up, as you might expect. He seemed happy to know about me.

And Jan reached out to me on Facebook to welcome me to the family.

And Brad texted me to start a conversation.

How lovely is that?

David and I started talking regularly, and we decided we would meet when I visited New York for my annual birthday trip in December.

I flew into La Guardia and rented a car as the LIRR train schedule did not cooperate.

Brad: Have a good time! 
Me: Thanks. I'm on my way. Nervous. 
Brad: So is he!

David was waiting on his porch when I pulled up. He said he felt like a kid at Christmas. I did too. (Add some flop sweat that Santa doesn’t usually get.)

He had a present for me:

I suddenly became very aware of my nasolacrimal ducts. Why? When I met Kathy, she gave me a present.

It was a gift David had given to her for her birthday when they were dating. She kept it all these years because it was the one thing that connected the three of us. And I had told him about it.

Oh Lord: There’s something in my eye. Hang on.

OK. Proceeding.

He took me to the main house to meet my Uncle Terry and Aunt Rosemary.

As it turns out, they and their family and David spent plenty of time in Savannah because they have a place in Hilton Head. Again, I could have run into them AT ANY POINT and not known about our connection.

Also, I would be staying the night in Uncle Terry and Aunt Rosemary’s house.

Y’ALL. These people JUST met me. I am a stranger. So this tells you a little something about how my existence was received.

The four of us went out to dinner and had a wonderful time. When we got back, David brought out a cake for my birthday.

I lost it (but tried not to).

He got me an ice cream cake (Carvel FTW!) without even KNOWING I am not a fan of regular cake.

It was … a lot. (I know I keep saying it, but cut me some slack. It IS a lot!)

The next day, we went on a drive to key places of interest for him and the family.

We laughed. We argued good naturedly. We got to know each other.

We went to the Long Island Aquarium.

As we were watching the sea lion show, I thought about how completely bizarre it was to be there with him. This is the kind of things dads do with their daughters when daughters are children. But here we were, making up for lost time.

Oh look: My lacrimal sac is acting up again. One moment.

I’m back.

It was bone-chillingly cold. My father doesn’t have any body fat (one area where I did NOT get his genes), so we didn’t linger at the lions.

We went back to his place to continue chatting. Before long, it was time for me to head into the city for the rest of the birthday trip.

I had plenty of thoughts to keep me occupied on the drive, along with a debrief phone call from a blogger friend.

I TOLD YOU it was a wild ride.

Just a little bit more to go if you want to join me. The final part is coming soon.

XO,
Beth

* Yes, I talk to Jan. Another weird and wonderful part of the story.

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Story of My Life 4: Live Free or Die Hard #ThursdayThoughts

Posted in Parenting, tagged , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2023| 4 Comments »

Dear Friends and Family,

Buckle up: Mr. Toad has nothing on Auntie Beth’s wild ride.

(Here’s Part 1, 2 and 3 to get you up to speed.)

The next logical step was to contact my birth father.

Folks, this was easier said than done.

Not that he was hard to find. As soon as I had his name, I put my reporter experience to work and tracked down his address.

It was more that I wasn’t sure how to make this connection. The problem? He didn’t know about me. At all.

For a variety of reasons (including the fact that they had broken up), Kathy didn’t tell him she was pregnant.

So.

Do I call him? Show up at his house? Contact another relative I found (à la Cousin Laura for Kathy)? Eeesh.

I decided to go with the snail-mail route. It had worked before, so maybe it would work again.

But how do I start THAT letter?

Y’all, I’m a writer, but that was THE HARDEST LETTER to write. How do you announce your existence to someone who helped make you? That’s a big deal.

Kathy was worried about me and my plan. She told me she wasn’t sure how he would react.

Yeah.

For TWO FULL YEARS, I agonized over what to say, how to write that damn letter.

My friend Tyler (who cuts my hair) told me, “Don’t come back unless you have an update.” She was kidding. I think.

That was in March 2022. I pulled myself together.

The good stationery and penmanship came out again.

I chose the “rip off the Band-Aid” method:

I've wanted to write this letter for a while, but I didn't know exactly what to say or how to begin. I'm still not sure this is the right way, but I have to start somewhere. 

You don't know me or know about me, but I'm your daughter.

I planned for it to arrive by Father’s Day. 😬😉 The tracking indicated it took FOUR DAYS to leave the St. Louis post office. I was dying.

Then on June 23, 2022, I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. It showed up as Columbia, MD, but I didn’t have my glasses on. I thought it said, “Columbia, MO,” so I assumed it was a work call. I answered.

“This is Beth.”
“Hi Beth, this is David.”

My people, I cannot express just how many emotions were vying for the top spot: happiness, surprise, nervousness, etc.

Gideon and Eddie saw my face. They were curious and concerned.

I mouthed, “My father.” Their eyes nearly sprung out of their sockets.

I went into another room so I could focus.

It was, in a word, unreal.

And clearly too much to explain in this one post. Get ready for Part 5 and 6. Thanks for joining me on this journey.

XO,
Beth

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