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Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Hello, 2012!

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , on January 1, 2012| 6 Comments »

I don’t usually make resolutions for the new year. (Why wait until Jan. 1 if you want to change something?) The closest I get is making non-resolutions.

I’m feeling optimistic and inspired, though. And so I resolve to:

  • try noodling. (Anyone know a good guide?)
  • wear skirts more often. (I tend to be a pants kind of gal.)
  • go to Lacoste again (or, at the very least, drink more French wine).
  • speak more Spanish at home and keep practicing French.
  • acquire more chickens (much to Eddie’s dismay).
  • clean out my pantry. (I don’t really think this will happen, but it is nice to have a goal.)
  • stop letting my son’s superhero noises bother me. (Yeah, that won’t happen either.)
  • see Adam Ant in concert. (He’s on tour!)
  • throw my panties on the stage at that concert. (I’m kidding. Just making sure you’re paying attention.)
  • see Van Halen reunited with David Lee Roth in concert.
  • visit the Brannens in Abu Dhabi.
  • go camping at least once.
  • see my friend Tina’s new place and finally talk her into visiting us.
  • stop pretending I like to listen to NPR in my car. (Confession: It’s usually ’80s and country.)
  • audition for a play or musical.
  • actually go out for drinks/dinner with my friends Matt, Pam, Kathy, Lee, etc., instead of just talking about it.
  • either part ways with my padding or to stop talking about it.
  • make homemade pasta more often. (Not sure this goes with the one above.)
  • take a cooking class to improve my knife skills.
  • go to more of the interesting festivals I like so much (such as the Redneck Games).
  • write more, read more, talk less.

Of course, there are the resolutions I share with almost everyone else: Improve eating habits, exercise more, spend more time with family, save money, etc.

Now I’m ready for the new year. How about you?

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Holiday bleatings

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , on December 22, 2011| Leave a Comment »

December is my favorite month of the year because it is my birthday month, and because it features Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa – a holidaypalooza! No one gets any work done all month, people eat their body weights in cookies and candy, and parents have the chance to threaten their young children with the phrase, “Santa sees what you are doing right now.”

Christmas Eve is my favorite holiday because of the anticipation. Christmas Day has always felt like a let-down because the wait is over. It’s 364 days for the next build-up. But maybe that’s just me.

So, Christmas Eve = good; Christmas Day = kind of bad.

Here are other pairs:

Good: Bringing home and decorating a real Christmas tree.
Bad: Real Christmas tree needles that clog the ancient vacuum cleaner.

Good: Realizing a new Dyson vacuum cleaner with Root Cyclone technology might make a great Christmas gift.
Bad: Um … asking for a vacuum cleaner for Christmas.

Good: The boys are old enough to help decorate the tree.
Bad: They haven’t figured out the art of spacing.

Good: More quality time with the kids.
Bad: More time with the kids. (You know it is too much togetherness when you hear your son say, “Gideon punched me,” and your husband responds, “Good.”)

Good: Selecting the perfect presents for friends and family.
Bad: Wrapping all those presents and the bills that follow the purchase.

Good: Seeing a person’s reaction when she loves her gift. (Hi, Trish!)
Bad: Seeing the reaction when he doesn’t. (Hello, Ed.)

Good: Taking the kids to see Santa.
Bad: Knowing that the 5-year-old is not getting the computer he requested (!).

Good: Going to your first Hanukkah party.
Bad: Fleeing the Hanukkah party because your son has a meltdown because he doesn’t like the way his shirt collar feels on his neck.

Good: Unseasonably warm weather when the central heat has been acting strangely.
Bad: The kids deciding it’s OK to take off their clothes outside to better enjoy aforementioned warm weather.

Good: Having the time and inclination to make Christmas cookies.
Bad: The extra 10-pound reminder of why you shouldn’t.

Good: Deciding (well, hoping) that friends and family will forgive you for not sending holiday cards because you’ve been out of the country for three months and didn’t get your act together.
Bad: Feeling like a schmuck each time you go to the mailbox and see greetings from others.

Good: Singing Christmas carols as loudly as possible in a closed car.
Extra Good: Torturing your kids with your holiday singing after they’ve been torturing you all day with superhero noises.
Bad: There’s nothing bad about that … for you!

Good: Stop-motion Christmas specials such as “Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer” (although I’m partial to “The Year Without a Santa Claus” because of the Miser Brothers).
Bad: Stop-motion specials such as “Rudolph’s Shiny New Year.” (It’s like the Scrappy Doo of specials.)

Good: The whole holiday season, in my opinion.
Bad: It’s almost over. Sigh.

Happy holidays to all of you!

 

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Sign here

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , on December 11, 2011| 2 Comments »

Our journey through France, Switzerland and Germany taught me plenty. It was because I was open to all the signs, of course.

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Vacation, all I ever wanted …

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , on November 30, 2011| 1 Comment »

The Griswolds have nothing on us. Our European vacation was not quite as catastrophe-filled as theirs, but hijinks still ensued. Here’s a slideshow of the best and the worst.

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Halloween, American style

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , on October 29, 2011| 4 Comments »

Last year, Eddie and I made a big production out of Halloween. Three families got together to form the cast of the “Wizard of Oz.”

This year, I am sans family. Instead of being part of a big themed costume event, I wore brown, stuck a stick in the buttonhole of my sweater, and called myself a  — wait for it — Stick in the Mud.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t have the Halloween spirit or participate in a celebration.

The college I work for introduced the American concept of Halloween to the small medieval village in the South of France where the study-abroad program is located. If today’s turnout is any indication, the French folks in this area have really embraced the tradition. I think every French family within a 30 km radius came to celebrate with us.

Here’s a slideshow of photos from the event:

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It may not have been my usual Halloween, but it was unusually fun!

(And maybe now I can forgive the students for making me watch “Hocus Pocus” last night!)

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Parlez-vous anglais?

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 5, 2011| 3 Comments »

In one week, this village will be my new home:

It’s only temporary, though.

The university that employs me has a study-abroad campus in the South of France. I was lucky enough to be selected to teach writing courses there in the fall.

Here are the answers to the Top Five questions I’m asked:

  1. No, Eddie is not going. He and the kids will join me later in the quarter.
  2. Because the boys have school and he has work events planned.
  3. Yes, of course I will miss them. Skype will save us.
  4. Yes, I’m excited, mainly for the chance to gorge myself on wine and cheese and a variety of other treats for which the Luberon Valley is known.
  5. No, I don’t speak French fluently. I will be able to carry on conversations with French toddlers based on what I remember from two years of the language in high school. And I can inquire as to the whereabouts of my sunglasses.

Although I’ll still post images of grammar mistakes in the wild, this blog will change focus a bit.

Perhaps a temporary blog title is appropriate.

Perhaps “A Redneck in Provence.”

 

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Feeling a little fetal

Posted in Random, tagged , , on May 23, 2011| 4 Comments »

Well-meaning women sometimes say to me, “I just don’t know how you do it.” I could be wrong, but I think they are referring to the fact that I have a family and a full-time job, plus the completion of a doctoral degree looming over my head, yet I manage to bathe and dress myself, show up on time to all the places I need to be, and try to exhibit some sense while I’m there.

Lately, my stock answer for that well-intentioned comment is, “Well, I don’t, really.”

I’m not trying to be snarky; I just feel like I’m only barely keeping myself together. There’s some half-assery going on. Hence the extended time between posts on this blog.

And last week, I had a fetal-position moment that resolved itself only through Eddie rubbing slow circles on my back and speaking in low tones — you know, the way you speak to some rabid animal that’s gotten between you and your back door. I’m sure he wished he could consult some kind of Wife Manual.

Anyway, when I am feeling low, I like to cheer myself up with Damn You, Auto Correct! There I find treasures like this:

There now … Don’t you feel better? I know I do.

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Dominic’s wisdom

Posted in Random, tagged , on May 13, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Dominic has been offering a stream of one-liners this week. Here are three:

He was scratching my back and asked me what the straps were. I explained the concept of a bra, and likened it to boys wearing underwear to support their bits. He wanted to know more.

D: Why can’t I wear one?
Me: Because you don’t have breasts and there’s nothing to support.
D: Daddy’s chest sticks out.
Me: Yes. He has pectoral muscles not breasts.
D: Well my muscles are going to stick out too because I eat my vegetables.



This morning’s goodbye kiss with Eddie was a little longer than usual. Then we noticed Dominic looking at us and smiling.

D: That’s just like in the movies!



Tonight he was wrestling with Gideon, and Gideon got hurt and started crying.

Me: How many times have I told you not to play like that?
D: A thousand.


That’s my son!

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Interview with Dominic, 6

Posted in Random, tagged , on May 8, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Dominic did this at school (with his teacher’s help, of course) and presented it to me today for Mother’s Day. He was so proud!

(I prefer “Princess Bride” over “SpongeBob,” but he doesn’t know that.)

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Celebrating the Georgia state vegetable

Posted in Random, tagged , , , , , , on April 29, 2011| 3 Comments »

While Wills and Kate were enjoying a posh party with 300 of their closest friends, Eddie, the boys and I were on our way to the Vidalia Onion Festival, which included a rodeo.

Here’s a photo essay.

Jesus is in the market for a stuffed member of the Rat Pack?

Vidalia, the Sweet Onion City

The city’s bounty comes in regular and jumbo sizes, and in five-, 10- or 25-pound bags. I chose a 10-pounder.

The city's harvest dipped in batter and drowned in oil. Yum! Dominic is not so sure.

Paramedics at the rodeo. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

The boys enjoy an up-close-and-personal view of cow hide.

Nothing says "festival" quite like a funnel cake.

And nothing says "festival in the country" quite like boiled peanuts. Gideon likes them too!

Ridin' and ropin' with a generous helping of Toby Keith and Garth Brooks over the loudspeaker.

Where have all the cowgirls gone? Here, "cloverleafing" around barrels.

The rodeo was entertaining, even though the cowboys and cowgirls were high school students and not professionals.

Everyone we talked to kept inviting us to the “street dance.” I don’t know what that was, but we didn’t go. We had already been a little spooked by the first thing we heard upon arriving:

We need parents to help out with the goats, please.

That’s not something I’ll bet Wills and Kate heard at their soirée.

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